Women's Health: Postpartum Community
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Avatar universal

Help My Almost 4 year old is scared of Big Girl Underwear

So I have a daughter that will be 4 the middle of May and she has started potty training on and off for 2 years we finally are at the point she has an accident here and there in pull ups. WE have tried everything to get her in her big girl underwear, she kicks and screams and tells us she dont like it. I don't know what to do we tried doing a reward system for wearing them, my husband got fed up one day and just put them on her and she tried ripping them off and threw an hour long tempertantrum. I am at my ends wits with trying to get her in her big girl panties if anyone has suggestions please help!
8 Responses
1641357 tn?1470498993
hi!  I think what i would do personally is give her a week or two with the pullups all the while telling her everyday that in two weeks we're going to wear big girl panties.  be excited and ridiculously overjoyed about the idea, tell her she'll be like mommy and how much you can't wait! then on the day you decide don't buy any pullups anymore and if you still have some get rid of them so there is no other option for her anymore.  
134578 tn?1517087675
I'd do something different, which is to remove the pressure on the situation.  Once you have gotten so forceful and insistent that she is having hourlong tantrums, there is no doing anything to defuse it at the moment.  I'd put her back into pullups, and tell her she can wear them instead of underpants as long as she wants to, on the condition that she not pee in them or poop in them.  In other words, the pullups are the underpants.  If she acts as though they are underpants, and treats them as underpants, what does it matter if they are pullups?  She probably likes their thickness, not because it catches accidents but just because she's used to that density of material on her bottom.  What does it matter if she isn't in cloth undies, if she can pull the pullups up and down and use the toilet appropriately?  Sooner or later her school friends will convince her by their example that underpants are cool also.  

Duck tape glue underpants on her! I always duck tape glue on my underpants!
1641357 tn?1470498993
I agree with AnnieBrooke, if the issue is only to be wearing panties.  I thought the issue was to get her to go to the potty on her own.  Although pullups are more expensive, if she's just using them as panties and not getting them dirty i'd let her stay in them.
With me I even got a crush to duck taped glued on my underwear, even if I wet my underwear and cried! I am of profound mental retardation! The same for her! Her new panties must be duck taped glued on her, even if she wets her new panties and cries!
Avatar universal
The issue right now is she has been in pull ups for over 6 months, I am glad that she is going on the potty but she uses the Pull up as her back up. She knows she can get away with going potty in her pull up but in her big girl underwear she cant. But I will try you advice thank you so much!
171768 tn?1324233699
For some kids it's a control issue. For others it's a sensory issue, kinda like AnnieBrooke described. To help make the transition, what if you put undies over or possibly even UNDER the pullup to get her used to the sensation of cotton undies instead of the pull up material.
1664344 tn?1304623214
Have you tried taking her to the store with you to pick out her own underpants this worked for my oldest daughter. She loved it.Tell her it is time to be a big girl and maybe get her the sets that come with the tank tops. My daughter loved them she thought she was a grown up prancing around in her "bra" lol.
1641357 tn?1470498993
I like this concept!!!  When my daughter gets older I'm going to do that :)
Avatar universal
With me I was even scared to take of my underwear that I even duck taped glued on my underwear!
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