Hi everyone! I have been reading your forums and have seen a lot of supportive posters, so I'm hoping I can join the community and also get some of that support. My story is kind of long, so I will apologize in advance...
I'm 26 with 2 daughters, 3 and almost 7. My husband and I have been married for about 8 years.
I have been taking lortabs for about 2 years. It began with a repeat back injury from a serious car accident. I became addicted to them. Eventually I quit seeing my doctor for the pain and started to self-medicate because we lost our insurance coverage. I was at one point taking anywhere from 5-7 a day. My husband was addicted to lortab/percocet and valium for about 5 YEARS at that point. Getting them was easy because my husband already had a 'connection' and they were here already anyway...
On the plus side, he quit cold turkey after taking about 12-15 or more lortab 10's (usually, sometimes percocet or roxycodone) daily and 1-2 valium at night 'for sleep'. He has been clean since April 30th and I'm very proud of him because he has tried to quit before numerous times and failed. Consequentially he lost his job of 13 years after staying out of work for 10 days going thru the withdrawals... and has not found work still.
When he quit my supply was cut drastically as he was the one who always did the 'business' of it all. I did not want to put any undue stress of that on him at such a crucial time so I found my own way to get them. I quickly went from constantly eating pills to having 4 or so per day just to maintain functionality. As I said, that was at the beginning of May. I did have some serious withdrawals just cutting back like that, but took it in stride as I wanted to quit so badly myself and to support his struggle. It was just important that someone around here remain functional for our girls and for me to work when I could. Once I cut to 3 or 4 per day and adjusted I just kind of stayed in that area for a while.
Over the last 3 weeks or so I began breaking the 7.5s in half and having only a half of those at a time instead of a whole one due to the money strain that we are dealing with. I haven't had any major withdrawals from doing this, just a lack of energy and functionality, but at those times when I'm forced to do work/clean, etc I find that I feel much better these days in general.
This past Wednesday I started to feel some oddly familiar things in my tummy. I passed it off as gas and tummy troubles as I have irritable bowel syndrome and I well know that pills complicate those matters from time to time. Also, I have never had a regular menstrual cycle and sometimes go up to 7-8 months without any sign of it at all.
I decided to take a pregnancy test and tell the hubs that i was worried about the possibility of pregnancy this past Thursday night even though I've had NO recognizable symptoms of pregnancy at all up until then. I have not gained any weight, had no noticeable appetite changes, no sickness-which I was plagued with very early on in both my other pregnancies... absolutely nothing that would suggest I was pregnant. You can imagine the shock that came upon us both when the test immediately came out positive... The thing is, I have come to recognize the things in my tummy as movements from the baby and I know for a fact that I must have conceived on FEB 2nd looking back on the situation because we had a three month span where we didn't have sex at all after that day. I am expecting to get a due date somewhere around October 26th when I see the doctor...
I went to a local clinic on Friday morning to confirm the pregnancy and I am indeed pregnant. The nurse said she suspected from the size of my uterus that I could be somewhere around 18-20 weeks, but they do not do ultrasound, etc... I called my doctor that same day and told them the situation. They scheduled me for an appointment this coming Friday morning and I'm anxiously awaiting the 'everything is okay' that will come from that appointment IF I haven't done any serious damage to my child from the habits I carried while I was unaware of the pregnancy. I'm certain I'm between 20 and 21 weeks along.
Over the course of the last twenty weeks, I have:
had 1-2 5hr energy shots per day
smoked about 1-1 1/2 packs of cigarettes per day
smoked pot about 2-3 times per week
as well as taken 2 Lortab 7.5's broken in half over 4 doses per day, (but those were much more until may 1st as I have been weaning for some time before now)
I do feel that I have the willpower to finish giving up the pills. I have come so far already. I have already stopped smoking pot and drinking energy shots, am trying not to smoke and have cut caffine consumption to a level considered 'safe' during my other pregnancies. I want to do ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING I can to ensure that my child is not born addicted. I would not ever ever want to harm this child who did not ask to be brought into the world.
I guess my question is, is there anyone out there who can offer me some suggestions about the best way to taper from here? I don't want it to take months, but also know that withdrawals can be very dangerous to the baby. With the low dose I'm already on, it should not take that long in my mind... I just want to be done with this as soon as humanly and safely as possible. Any positive input would be great.
And yes, I am well aware of the risks that my habits could have put my child at. I obviously would have done something about it before now had I known. I love my children. I want desperately to talk to my doctor about this at the appointment on Friday, but I'm embarrassed, afraid, and don’t want to cast some shadow of 'bad mothering' on myself… That said… I HAVE to finish tapering and be done with it and I'm looking for any input and support any of you might have to offer. Again, sorry for the long post. If there is another area of the forums I should post to please direct me there as well.