Women's Health: Postpartum Community
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Avatar universal

Just needing to vent about lack of parental control!

I teach Kindergarten and have a little girl in my class that is a true example of what happens when parents don't set limits.  I have taught for 9 years and this is the most frustrated I have been with a student.  Every time her parents are contacted about something there is an excuse!  "She doesn't feel well"  "She is tired" "It was someone else's fault"  I have heard them all.  I just want to tell other parents to please set limits and stick to them.  Kids need and want our boudaries.  It is our job as a parent to be the people to set high expectations and watch our children rise to them.  Sorry if I wasted your time, but I don't know if I am going to survive these last 4 weeks of school with this student!!
12 Responses
447077 tn?1222790570
What does this child do??? I know what you mean about setting limits it sure would be nice if more parents did that. I'm just curious as to what they let this little girl get away with.
145992 tn?1341345074
I know what you mean.  You constantly see peole allowing their children to run around with no supervision.  Bumping into you and their parents say nothing.  WTF!!!!  Children are children but there are time and places for everything.  Like playgrounds.  Children need discipline, limits and boundaries.  I guess not everyone is equipped to parent.
Avatar universal
I could go on forever.  She has no empathy whatsoever.  She thinks she should and can have whatever she wants.  When she doesn't get her way, she cries and throws a big fit.  I mean she is crying at least every five minutes.  The kids don't want to play with her because she is so hard to get along with, but when they don't play with her she says really mean things to them like "You are mean or stupid"  " I hate you" or things like that.  Don't get me wrong.  I love kids and have always done well with discipline problems, but there is usually a reason.  For example, I have a special place in my heart for kids that have special needs, kids from broken homes, kids for underprivileged homes, but I have a hard time dealing with the fact that the parents just don't do consequences at home.  I have seen the way both parents are treated by this little girl and it is applauling.  I think I need to turn them into Supernanny!!
145992 tn?1341345074
Some people just have children and don't work at it.  I bet this girl is basically ignored at home.  Probably plays in her room alone.  It's easy to make children but to actually parent them is a whole other thing.
447077 tn?1222790570
Wow, well maybe if you haven't already that is, maybe you can tell the parents. I am gonna have to report to the other parents your childs actions towards them. Maybe they will have a second look at things? Sounds like a really tough situation. I really don't have any good advice to give on that...Sorry you have to endure that......... GOOD LUCK! The school year is almost over ;)
Avatar universal
Was this girl always like that?  Is there a big change in the home (little sister or brother)?  I know that DD started acting out with her therapists after DS was born.  I try my best to let her know that this behavior's unacceptable.  When I'm embarrassed by her behavior, I tend to make excuses as well :(
246850 tn?1246160348
Truly sad and not that this little girls parents "dont" set limits.  But that we as parents can judge how other people parent. We all have faulty times when we are teaching our children things. Each home holds different settings and circumstances.
You said that you have approached them on it and they have made the normal excuses or whatever. Maybe they need a different approach. Do you know for sure that they dont have a "broken" home, or that there are not other reasons? If this is the first time you have had to deal with this in 9 years and dont think that you can handle it, than yes i would definitly take the steps you need to take. Of course you know this already, but kindergarten is a childs first actual school year and a big adjustment as to whats expected when you are in school. Requires alot of patience and hard work.
The little girl is not the one lacking empathy in my opinion.
159354 tn?1286367688
That's rough....poor kid.  Not her fault.  Something seems wrong at home.

Now - if someone can explain to me my problem.....

My DD is the opposite....most respectful, polite, kind and empathetic child at school....All her teachers rave about her.

At home - Nightmare!!!!
145992 tn?1341345074
Isn't that always the case.  I used to be the same way towards my mom.  She used to say, yeah she's so nice to you, why don't you take her home with you...lol.
127124 tn?1326735435
My daughter has behavioral issues and it is not due to lack of parenting. .   We have rules and boundaries and consequences.    Does this child only act out in school?   How does she behave at home and around others?
Avatar universal
My DS is the same way.  I've always been told it is because they feel comfortable at home and can le their guard down.  I know it can be frustrating, but as a teacher I am thankful that he saves his best behavior for school.  

Please know that I am not being judgemental of these parents.  I learned 4 years ago when I became a mother not to ever judge a parent by their child.  I just can't really explain this situation to you unless you see it.  I just want to make all of you wonderful ladies aware of the fact that if you don't take responsibility for your children and their behavior at a young age, they will have a really hard time in life.  That is my point here.  I think a lot of parents feel like 'the bad guy" when they discipline.  I am dealing with it a little bit with my own DH and DS.  It is important that we realize it is our job and obligation to our children to teach them right and set boudaries for them.  They truly do need and want these things even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.
145992 tn?1341345074
I think my son is going to be a bad one...lol.  I'm not trying to make light of the situation by all means.  It is true that not all parents are bad ones and that's why the child acts out.  I didn't want it to sound like I was judging all parents.  But just some that I've seen personally.  I see these kids acting out and their parents sitting there letting it happen.  These are the parents I was referring to.  One child was on a slide and my step-daughter was in front of him.  Well he was making loud, obnoxious noises right in her ear.  So she turns and says to him, you're annoying.  I know that was rude of her but he was...anyway...he pulls her hair.  Where was his parents?  Sitting right there and saying nothing...not even looking in his direction.  Too busy talking to other people.  We had to tell the little boy not to put his hands on her.  Those are the parents I was referring to.
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