Well, on a side note, it sounds like you may have solved the hands in pants thing by getting boxers. It may well have been that his tighty whities were just too tight. If this continues, though, you should know that boys who do that usually are experiencing anxiety, and this is a self-soothing behavior.
At this point, do you have the option to ask for a different teacher? Some teachers just really develop a dislike for certain children - maybe based on her frustration that he's struggling academically and won't follow the directions about placing his hands in his pants. At that point it's hard for them to see any positive qualities in the child.
If there are several other teachers to choose from, I'd suggest going in to the principal and asking for a classroom switch. You have to be VERY careful with how you request this - it has to be all positive and all directed at seeing your son be more successful.
"He really thrives with (whatever quality it is)". A quiet teacher. A very warm teacher. A teacher that does hands on activities.
If you can show that he's not succeeding, and that the teacher has had him tested for two disabilities he does not have, and now this very very negative conference, you stand a chance of getting him switched.
The key is to be on the principal's side, and the school's side, in finding the most positive environment for your son's success. If you go in there and sound accusatory and kind of off kilter, you will have less chance of achieving your goal. It also helps to mention your older son's current excellent teacher and how you really hope your younger one can have her, oh my gosh she's fabulous can I request her now?
Been there, done that. It's awful when a teacher has it out for your child.
As both a teacher and a parent I can understand both sides of your story. I do I know that most of the time teachers will have the best interest of the child in mind. I also know that there are some teachers who offend my profession and should not be in the classroom. That being said I'd like to offer my advice. It's a little crazy but it just might work. Get this teacher a small gift with a thank you card written by your son that acknowledges her hard work and dedication. Oftentimes teachers are overworked and underappreciated just as we are as parents. Even the smallest gesture can make a huge difference. After you give the gift request a second parent teacher conference and express your sincere concern s and ask what else you can be doing at home. Explain that you like to come together to create a solution together. Tell her what you already do at home what your child responds to best. If this doesn't work then go to the administrator or principal and share your concerns. It will only work in your favor if you have tried multiple times to reach out to the teacher for help. It will also show the principal that you are wanting to find a solution instead of just complaining about a bad situation. I hope this helps and I hope you find a lasting solution so your son will feel and be successful. Those first years of school are vital to laying a good foundation for the remaining years of learning. Be gentle with yourself and know that you're doing the right thing. And thank you sincerely for having an interest and and involvement in your child's education. Good Luck!
Southernpearl, thanks for your inside advice. I hope it helps sayheynay. Keep us updated. :)
Thank you all for the responses and they have placed me at ease. Like you said RockRose...I think my son has anxiety. He is not as outgoing as his brother and has always been following in his brother's shadow and now he is learning to make friends on his own and starting to come out of his shell a little bit at a time. I also like your suggestion southernpearl about providing a small gesture to acknowledge her hard work and dedication. I can't say she is a bad teacher since other parents whose children had her seemed to like her but their kids also took off academically. Unfortunately my son is picking up on the work slowly but he is getting it. However the slowness of him picking it up is starting to frustrate her. One step at a time I guess.