Avatar universal

Kindergarten teacher nightmare

I just had my son's parent teacher conference and his teacher pretty much made my son sound as if he is handicap.  She is an older teacher and it seems as if a child does not know everything she wants them to know then she feels there are problems.  

Anyway, she mentioned my son constantly puts his hands in his pants at school. He does it at home and I am constantly telling him to not do this and it is disgusting because he is spreading germs and it is gross. He is in kindergarten so he really does not care about want I am saying or how he should not be doing this in class.

I explained to him that if it itches to please scratch in the bathroom but again at his young age he is not thinking he is doing anything wrong and he really isn't.  Men I work with are constantly scratching themselves all the time.  My son's teacher is making a stink about it and said that every time he does it she tells him to go to the bathroom to wash his hands, then she said other kids will tell him it is gross and another teacher took notice when they were on line to the cafeteria that he had his hands in the pants! She made it sound like he is the only boy ever that has his hands in the pants!

If this was a major concern to her why did she await until now to tell me in February!  I called the doctor and she feels it could be a simple irritation.  I spoke with my son last night to see what was hurting him there and he said the thick piece of material on the underwear hurt his private.  I put boxer shorts on him last night and he said it does not itch him no more and I did not see him put his hands done his pants at all last night.  

This teacher is constantly trying to find something wrong with him.  She wanted his speech tested and it came back fine, then had his motor skills tested and that came out fine, now it is an issue with the hands in the pants!! I wonder why he hates kindergarten because it seems as if she is making him feel uncomfortable. I am just upset because she made me feel as if my child was horrible.  I know I should not let this bother me.  My son who is now in second grade had a similar experience with his 1st grade teacher last year making him sound as if he needed special education and now in 2nd grade he has excelled and his teacher constantly says how great he is doing.  

Some of these teachers really can upset you and  now I am pondering is there something wrong with my little one or is it just the teacher because he is not keeping up with her pace and she can't handle it?  Now if he stops placing his hands in his pants, is she going to find something else wrong with him?  She also complained how quite he was and he is very shy but now I am wondering if he is not talking in class because she is making him feel uncomfortable!  He is shy but when not in school he is talkative and has great social skills and has many play dates.  I don't know what this teacher wants from him or me.

Has anyone else gone through teacher nightmares of them saying their child is practically horrible???  She really made me feel like total crap yesterday.
4 Responses
13167 tn?1327194124
Well,  on a side note, it sounds like you may have solved the hands in pants thing by getting boxers.  It may well have been that his tighty whities were just too tight.  If this continues, though,  you should know that boys who do that usually are experiencing anxiety,  and this is a self-soothing behavior.

At this point,  do you have the option to ask for a different teacher?  Some teachers just really develop a dislike for certain children - maybe based on her frustration that he's struggling academically and won't follow the directions about placing his hands in his pants.  At that point it's hard for them to see any positive qualities in the child.  

If there are several other teachers to choose from,  I'd suggest going in to the principal and asking for a classroom switch.  You have to be VERY careful with how you request this - it has to be all positive and all directed at seeing your son be more successful.

"He really thrives with (whatever quality it is)".  A quiet teacher.  A very warm teacher.  A teacher that does hands on activities.  

If you can show that he's not succeeding,  and that the teacher has had him tested for two disabilities he does not have,  and now this very very negative conference,  you stand a chance of getting him switched.

The key is to be on the principal's side,  and the school's side,  in finding the most positive environment for your son's success.  If you go in there and sound accusatory and kind of off kilter,  you will have less chance of achieving your goal.  It also helps to mention your older son's current excellent teacher and how you really hope your younger one can have her,  oh my gosh she's fabulous can I request her now?

Been there,  done that.  It's awful when a teacher has it out for your child.
Avatar universal
As both a teacher and a parent I can understand both sides of your story. I do I know that most of the time teachers will have the best interest of the child in mind. I also know that there are some teachers who offend my profession and should not be in the classroom. That being said I'd like to offer my advice. It's a little crazy but it just might work. Get this teacher a small gift with a thank you card written by your son that acknowledges her hard work and dedication. Oftentimes teachers are overworked and underappreciated just as we are as parents. Even the smallest gesture can make a huge difference. After you give the gift request a second parent teacher conference and express your sincere concern s and ask what else you can be doing at home. Explain that you like to come together to create a solution together. Tell her what you already do at home what your child responds to best. If this doesn't work then go to the administrator or principal and share your concerns. It will only work in your favor if you have tried multiple times to reach out to the teacher for help. It will also show the principal that you are wanting to find a solution instead of just complaining about a bad situation. I hope this helps and I hope you find a lasting solution so your son will feel and be successful. Those first years of school are vital to laying a good foundation for the remaining years of learning.  Be gentle with yourself and know that you're doing the right thing. And thank you sincerely for having an interest and and involvement in your child's education. Good Luck!
4268628 tn?1375041176
Southernpearl, thanks for your inside advice. I hope it helps sayheynay. Keep us updated. :)
Avatar universal
Thank you all for the responses and they have placed me at ease.  Like you said RockRose...I think my son has anxiety.  He is not as outgoing as his brother and has always been following in his brother's shadow and now he is learning to make friends on his own and starting to come out of his shell a little bit at a time.  I also like your suggestion southernpearl about providing a small gesture to acknowledge her hard work and dedication.  I can't say she is a bad teacher since other parents whose children had her seemed to like her but their kids also took off academically.  Unfortunately my son is picking up on the work slowly but he is getting it. However the slowness of him picking it up is starting to frustrate her.  One step at a time I guess.

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