Women's Health: Postpartum Community
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Avatar universal

Life after Miscarriage

Hi Everybody,

I went to the doctor on Friday and got some incredibly horrible news. I was supposed to be 12 weeks pregnant, but on the u/s was a 9 week fetus with no heartbeat. We'd seen the heartbeat at 7 weeks so when I hit 12 weeks I thought I was out of the woods. Dr. said I had a "missed miscarriage" meaning the baby died at 9 weeks but my body still thought it was pregnant. Friday morning I had started spotting and Saturday I started heavy cramping and bleeding and have miscarried. I am completely devistated. It took 3 years to achieve this pregnancy and I'm terrified I won't be able to get pregnant again. I'd really like to hear from people who have experienced this. How long before you can function again? I can't work, can't laugh, can't stand watching TV because there seem to be a baby or pregnant women in almost every commercial or TV show. can't go to the mall without weeping at the sign of strollers.Seems like I can't do anything that doesn't make me burst out in tears. Is this normal? I feel like such a failure. Also, how long is the bleeding supposed to last- anyone know?

37 Responses
Avatar universal
Hi, I just miscarried(2nd time)last thursday at 8 weeks pregnant, they had seen the heartbeat the prior sunday.  I too am very upset, I am only having slight bleeding(a few drops per day) at this point. No one responded to my posting so I had no idea what to expect, please let me know how you are doing. Hopefully no cramps or fever. Take it easy,get rest and lots of fluid they told me.
Avatar universal
I has a missed m/c in 2000. I had just gotten married and the baby was our "honeymoon" baby. I had told anyone who would listen about the pg. Then 5 days after my b-day I found out the same thing. The baby stopped developing 2+ weeks before and it was over. After having the d&c I cried for weeks. I got so tired of people saying "it happened for a reason" because when you are in that position, it is hard to believe.
I may not be the best authority on this, less than 2 months after the m/c, I was the victim of a horrible crime so my focus was diverted from the loss of our baby. I never felt like I had completly healed from the loss. I did go on to get pg (4th time, 3 prior m/c) about 7 mos later and went on to deliver a healthy little boy.
I just lost a pg and as usual, I have had a full plate. I find myself going along just fine and then, BAM!, I start crying. I keep thinking about hearing the heartbeat and such. Time really does heal and talking about it when you are comfortable will too. I just avoid all those baby shows (baby story, birth day, maternity ward, etc) and have put away all those baby books for now. I have faith I will get pg again, I just have to be patient.
If either of you need to talk, email me. I will be more than happy to go into more detail as needed about what you may expect. And I will be there if you need someone to talk to about your loss.

Avatar universal
I miscarried at 6 1/2 weeks.  The bleeding lasted almost three weeks for me, two weeks it being pretty moderate.  I know it is different for everyone though. I also asked people I knew who had miscarried for advice/guidance but I am finding that everyone's bodies are different.  Following the end of my bleeding my doctor had me get my blood taken until my HCG levels were down to basically zero.  That took four weeks for me after the bleeding.  I think that is longer then it takes some people.  Anyway, it is a tough time and I understand the grief you are going through.  I can imagine it is ever harder when you have heard the baby's heart beat etc.  I am sorry for your loss.  Many of my friends have had miscarriages and then gone on to have healthy pregnancy's.  But for the time being I think it is important to greive and know you are not alone in how you feel.
Avatar universal
Hello...I understand your pain. I miscarried at 8weeks April 23rd of this year. It was my third pregnancy (we have two healthy boys)....Since then, my husband and I have been ttc but have been unsuccessful. Eventhough it has only been two cycles, I to am worried.....I didnt start to feel myself again and stop obsession and crying over our loss until alittle towards the end of June. Its hard and I know you can get through it. Will just take some time....

Avatar universal
I don't know how long the bleeding is 'supposed' to last, but I bled for 3 weeks, pretty heavy all the way along, and my HCG kept going up (still sort of a mystery why).  Then I had 2 weeks with no bleeding, then I bled for another week consistently.  Then FINALLY the HCG began to drop, and my doctor said that it was a completed miscarriage.  As far as being emotional, I think the worst for me was at the beginning of the miscarriage, as soon as the bleeding and pain began, I knew it was over.  I think my husband had a harder time than I did with it.  Remember, everyone is different, and feelings aren't 'right' or 'wrong' - they just are what they are, and don't let anyone tell you how long is appropriate to grieve.  It's different for everyone.
Avatar universal
Thank You everyone. It helps to hear that other people are going through/have gone through this. I'm just not used to feeling this helpless. Last night I started some fairly severe cramping and bleeding. Hope this part doesn't last long.
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