Women's Health: Postpartum Community
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159354 tn?1286371288

More questions than answers after dr appt

I had my f/u appt from my d&e on 9/29.  Dr told me that the baby was normal and there were no chromosomal problems, the genetics of the fetus were fine.  So my first instinct was - Was my baby really dead?  She assured me it was, hope she is right.  She advised that the baby can indeed die nor develop a hb even if it starts as a normal fetus.

She advised my other 2 m/c this year are not classified as m/c cause so many women have
11 Responses
Avatar universal
Don't you hate it when "they" act like your babies were not even babies at all.  I had a blighted ovum and my Dr acted like it was not a big deal either.  And he basically said that "it wasn't like it was a real miscarriage.  The baby never even developed".   Oh, my gosh, that makes me MAD @#*^$@$&%^*$@!!!! AND, he never even explained the difference or options of of DNC vs Natural.  I found out all this here- that there was an option and a difference.  I went in because of bleeding and THEN they did an ultrasound and bloodwork.  If I had not have came in with the bleeding and had the ultrasound earlier than scheduled, would it had ended up the same???  I just took the Dr advice as fact, I didn't even know that there was a chance that the baby could have still been alive in there.  I have read here about so many woman that waited it out and then- BAM- a heartbeat.  I find myself second guessing ALL the time and asking God to forgive me if I guess wrong.  I didn't really know that the Dr. could be wrong.  BUT, having said that, I realize that we CANNOT do this to ourselves over and over and over.  There is no benefit and we will only worry ourselves into a deep depression.  It does remind you, though, to put things into God's hands - not man's!
159354 tn?1286371288
Yeah - DRs are human and make mistakes..but I know in my heart.  My baby wasn't alive in there.  By my last u/s my entire uterus was filled with blood...it was bad.  And nothing like my 8 wk u/s picture of my DD.

I know in my heart my baby was gone...I prayed and just like with my other 2 m/c...GOD told my heart he was taking those babies (I felt that in prayer the night before the first 2 m/c)  I wasn't in shock a day later when I started to bleed...GOD had already spoken to me.

I just need some peace about ttc again...we conceive when the wind blows...LOL...just a little scared.
Avatar universal
Have you thought about getting a 2nd opinion? Even though I don't know that uch about chemical pregnancies, I think in your situation I might want to see an RE. I am sorry you are having to deal with all of this. No fun at all!
And Deanne..I wanted to thank you for all of your support whenever I post! I really appreciate it!
150483 tn?1212172156
Wow.I'm sorry for your loss.I would suggest for you to have the tests,I'm mean the way I see it is if for your piece of mind.Also I would tell you do not second guess yourself!!!That is the wrong thing to do in healing emotionally after.I do that & prob.Many others.Espe. with all these woman saying they did'nt see a hb & a week later they did-or-The sac was not seen & a wk. later it was hidding,which really makes me feel like s*** bc I was treated for ectopic bc sac was never found not even in tubes..were was it?I was just torturing myself.So just STOP you could of not done anything as many of us could not.I asked for testing after ectopic & was told they don't do them for 1 you have to have 2 or more.So know I'm deciding if I should ttc in jan -or-not?Atleast you are given the option.I know you want to ttc sooo bad but maybe in a month or so?Its your decision & I hope with all my heart this will be it for you.Think pos. & 1 day at a time..nanis
159354 tn?1286371288

I've talked to other specialists and they didn't think I was a candidate either...funny they think the first 2 m/c were bad luck.


And your welcome for my posts....i love all you guys...you've been great to me...trying to give a little back
159354 tn?1286371288
Thanks...I know I shouldn't torture myself and I did see the u/s pic...there is no way my baby could have been alive...my uterus was completely filled with blood but there is always that tug...'the what if'

Yeah - I guess I should feel grateful for all the tests...many women go through much worse and their drs don't offer anything...my drs were doing tests after the 1st and 2nd and now more just to be sure.

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