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Women's Health: Postpartum Community
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Avatar universal

OT: Kids buying presents

OK --  Off topic question (non-medical!)

When do you think kids should be encouraged to buy presents for mom/dad?

It's my birthday today and no one has gotten me anything (not even my DH). I asked him to encourage the kids to at least make me a card or write me a nice letter. I don't know if he did or not, but neither of my kids (aged 12 1/2 and 9) did so. Furthermore, my mom took my daughter (the 12 1/2 year old) out to go shopping today and my daughter bought Christmas presents for her friends, but nothing for me.

I probably seem ungrateful - but ANYTHING would have been nice from them. A home made card. Daughter could have gotten me a candy bar or something from the dollar store. If she is going to spend her money on her friends am I wrong for feeling slighted that I got nothing?

I *always* got something with my allowance for my mom for her birthday growing up. She didn't expect me to - I just would have felt bad if I hadn't!

I don't know what DH excuse for not even getting me a card is - that's a whole other story. I just wanted opinions on kids buying presents.

So whats your take on it?
10 Responses
13167 tn?1327194124
I think this whole thing hinges on how your husband has treated you on your birthday.   If he had made an effort to celebrate your birthday,  the kids would have too.  I'm kind of surprised your own mother didn't remember either!!

I think it's time to put your foot down on this one - with your husband.

Happy Birthday,  Elyz.
171768 tn?1324230099
happy birthday!

we always made homemade cards for our parents, as far back as i can remember. after a few years of being encouraged, we began to do it on our own too. we didn't have an allowance, so homemade was all we could do. DH should've prompted them. Maybe there's a surprise on the horizon which is why it seems they forgot?
561451 tn?1257476350
I always made my dad cards.  Along with a picture, which he loved because he would take them to work and hang them in his office!  And now he is slowly replacing with grandchildren pictures!  

Happy Birthday!

And maybe put your foot down with the DH!  I'd tell him, if he expects something, you should definately get something!
189192 tn?1261341628
I think it is a good life lesson to teach children how good it feels to not only get but to give.  I can remember my sister and I picking out my mothers birthday gifts from a very early age.  She still has and wears two of them (a necklace and a bracelet).  Nothing fancy of course. They were just a couple of bucks. They have to be about 30 years old now.  
223237 tn?1302188391
I would definitely have a conversation with your dh.  I remember going shopping with my dad for mother's day and birthday gifts for my mom.  Not only was it nice to get something for her, but it was nice to spend the day with my dad discussing what we should get and why.  We never bought anything very expensive, but it really made me feel special b/c my dad really seemed to value my input.  Happy Birthday!
148691 tn?1260194903
Sweetie, I wouldn't wait for your dh to 'start the tradition'.... if we'd wait for men to do these kinds of things... we will might as well grab a comfy seat! lol
I would do it and have fun with it! I used to draw silly characters in big papers and display it on the wall across from their bedroom at night, that way in the morning, the first thing they'd see when would wake up was 'their surprise!'... I had fun trying to hide from them and making it a secret, I also would grab a shoe of whoever was the Bday person and would put it on top of their present, and hide them! lol
Why don't you start doing maybe crafts for each and every person when a special occassion is comming so that they get the 'tradition' of doing something special for others on special days.

Happy B DAY!!!! I hope you get many many other presents... and if not? then grab your best friend, drive to the mall and SPLURGE on yourself!!! if dh asks about the credit card bill... say: oh... then you should have bought me something less expensive but with more thought!... you know next time! ;)
Avatar universal
i used to be married to someone like that... sorry.... happy bday!!!
182926 tn?1273012392
It frustrates me to no end when my kids and husband are like that.  I put a lot of thought into what I get them for christmas a little reciprical thought would be great..  I am dreading Christmas..  I have a 16,13, 10 and 1 year old and the two middle kids are so into themselves..  it *****..  I sometimes wonder why we care so much..  
296076 tn?1371334474
my kids have always made or got me something... my dd  6 goes around looking for things in the house to wrap up haha.. she has wrapped up batteries for her step dad for christmas.. haha...  it is your job as a mom to teach your kids what they are supposed to do.  they aren't born knowing.  So at a young age I would ask my kids to please make me their nicest picture for my birthday and as they grow they just "know" that they are supposed to do something.  You kids are by far old enough to understand that concept.  I would just talk to them and tell them that your feelings are hurt.  Ask how they would feel if you got them nothing for their b day and as for you dh I would also have a serious talk with him....
Avatar universal
my daughters always draw me pictures at minimum.  it is not selfish for your family to celebrate with you on your birthday.  it's the thought that counts not the gift and it is ALWAYS nice to be remembered.
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