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Women's Health: Postpartum Community
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296738 tn?1236000003

OT...Stressed out ans ovewhelmed. Need to vent.

I posted this on another forum but thought that I may get some more insight from any of you...I feel like I am fighting a loosing battle with my son (6 yrs).  He is in 1st grade and is failing all ready.  He is having all kinds of trouble with reading and spelling.  I feel like I am at my wits end!  He just can't get it.  I think that he needs to be tested for learning disabilities. I have sent numerous notes to his teacher about it.  All she says is to practice more with him.  I don't know how much more practice she expects.  With the baby and me trying to work, we work on his homework as much as possible.  It is just not working.  I cry every day b/c I am frustrated with everything.  I want to help him but I obiviously can't.  Then there is the baby.  I know that experts say that you can't spoil a baby.  But is that necessarily true?  She has to be held constantly.  I can't hold her all the time.  When I don't she just screams and screams and screams.  I don't know what to do with her sometimes.  I can't get anyone else to watch her so that I can get a break either b/c of it.  Then there is my husband.  He helps but I think there is more that he can do.  He thinks that when he has her that he can't do anything else but watch her.  I watch her plus do the things around the house and try to deal with my son's homework.  I have battled depression before.  When I found out I was pregnant I was already taking antidpressant but had to stop while I was pregnant.  I have started taking them again but I don't thinkt that they are helping much.  I don't know how much more I can take. Am I just making a bigger deal out of all this than it has to be?  Anyone got any words of wisdom to help me through this?
10 Responses
121828 tn?1333468091
Put the baby in a bjorn so that she can be close to you. This should soothe her while you help your son concentrate on his homework.  Also, there is nothing wrong with asking for after school help/tutor. I grew up 1 of 5 kids and believe me, I spent time at the tutor! This may take a little stress off of you and help your son focus.
298824 tn?1349958777
I don't know if your school has a Child Study Team or a counselor...but you can contact them and discuss your concerns...My daughter has struggled with school....I had her tested for Auditory Processing Disorder....I did the tutoring thing didn't work for her but it may for him....He just might need a little extra help... For two years I have been trying to talk to her teachers about her....Finaly someone told me what to do....Its hard I have other little ones at home to it does get very overwhelming.......best of luck..
Avatar universal
I get frustrated with Ava for crying when I put her down too, and honestly you just got to let them fuss sometimes.  Even if they can't be spoiled at this point in their lives... they can when they get a little older.. do you want to be lugging around a 20 lb baby all day?  Ava is 14 pds and her little fat butt hurts my arms sometimes.  :)  

I realize that many will disagree with me on this one, but I sometimes turn on Noggin and let Ava express her little self by watching Blues Clues, or Dora, or Pinky Dinky Do, or Little Bear or Little Bill ... whatever is on.  It is not for long periods of time, but it gives her a chance to take in different sounds, and sights.. and she LOVES LOVES LOVES Blues Clues... the older Blues Clues that has Steve in it.  You should see the delight in her eyes when Steve talks to HER.. it's adorable.  I don't leave her in front of the TV all the time.. but she does get a little TV time during the day.  Sometimes she doesn't even focus on the TV, she may look outside or play with her toys.  TV is not a cure all that is for sure.

I understand how you feel with the depression.  I am suffering a little myself from PPD, I have not seen a doctor for it, but from what I've read about the feelings and symptoms.. it seems that is what I may be feeling.  

With you son... to be honest there may not be anything wrong with him other than he is bored with school.  My nephew HATED school and would not focus on what he had to do to participate in school to pass his grade.  They ended up pulling him out of "regular" classes and put him into an Alternative school for academically challenged kids... the table COMPLETELY turned when he was finished that year.. he then decided to participate in school because he HATED the Alternative School.  I know this is a silly question, but have you talked to your son about why he feels school is so tough.  My fiance's 5 year old is as SMART as a whip, but she is stressed out in Kindergarten all ready... in daycare she learned her shapes, colors, alphabet, she learned how to spell her first and last name... she is very smart.. now she is in big girl school she is starting to act like a "baby" she's having a tough time right now... she is talking out loud and in line and crys when the teacher talks to her about her behavior.  :)  Wow, to be in 5 year old again!

Keep your head high girly.  You are a terrific mommy!  
602509 tn?1227205082
wow i am going through the same thing you are my son is 7 and in the first grade and my baby just turned 5mths and im also expecting again but anyways my son did great in kindergarten but 1st grade he just stopped doing anything and acted like he just didn't care so i sent note after note to his teacher and got the same things study with him more. so since i work 12hr shifts at night i don' t really have alot of time except for when im off so i decided to get my mom to help and the result of all the studing was the same as if we hadn't study at all so buy this time i am just really frustrated i set up an appointment with his teacher, the counsler, and the principle. we decided that during school hours they would also spend time with him he goes for an hour everyday to a study class and when he gets home me or his nanny one will help him for 2hrs in 30min periods at a time so he don't get over worked and i can say that he is doing better now his last spelling test he made a hundred!!! also even though he could speak ok we put him in a speech class that has helped him with his reading because they take time to sound out words with him and he is now on a 2nd grade reading level. i was worried about putting him in a special class but now they don't really seperate the children so he hasn't been picked on and it has really helped him. i know every child is dfffernt but if i was you i would let them know i was serious about them helping you that is what they are there is for. good luck  
208686 tn?1293034103
onlyme27-
I worked for ABLE and Americorps for 4 years before becoming at SAHM. I was wondering who all you have contacted about your son and his possible learning disabilities? You have the right to go above anyone's head and contact the Department of Education at anytime and ask for outside assistance! Every school should have a child advocate. One who will fight for everything possible in getting your child the help he wants, needs, and deserves! I looked up a few things for you.. you are in Mississippi correct? If so you could contact..
Mississippi Council on Developmental Disabilities
Edie Hayles , Executive Director
1001 Robert E. Lee Building
239 North Lamar Street
Jackson, MS 39201
601-359-1270

Their website is..
www .cdd. ms.gov /who_we_are. html
you may have to move some letters closer together.

They should be able to help you or lead you in the right direction! Also, there is a program called GREAT LEAPS (you can google this or go to greatleaps . com) that is FANTASTIC! When working with our local schools we used this program and it did wonders. It is basically divided into 3 major areas, phonics, sight phrases, and reading fluency. You would be amazed at how many students even in grades as high as 5th that I have worked with that this program has turned completely around! It is a program that you can do at home and what makes it so nice is that the whole lesson can be done in 5 minutes! (you use a 1 minute timer for each area and stay on that page until they can successfully complete all the words, phrases, stories in less then one minute!) I would suggest that if you were to get this and try it out then you would do it once a day until your son wants to do more, which I have seen in several different cases of children wanting to hold the timer and try to beat thier times.. when they participate in it they really like it!  Use incentives like a start plan.. or a check plan. for every 20 they get a sticker, for every so many stickers they get a bigger prize. make it fun and worth it in the end and they have no clue they are learning!

I hope you get the help you need! You may want to see if there is a "No Child Left Behind Act" in your state, and if you can't get him the help he needs, contact them!!

Good Luck, I know what you are going through as although my son doesn't have a learning disability, he does have a visual impairment , so I have had to do some advocating myself!!

If you ever want to talk or just vent don't hesitate to pm me!

sorry this is so long...hehe
13167 tn?1327197724
Wheewwwwww.  Deep breath.  ;D

First,  none of this will get better until your depression is lifted  a little.  Are you exercising?  After your son goes to school can you put the baby in a stroller and go walk a brisk mile?  Getting outside is really key to this - don't do exercises in your home,  that doesn't have the affect of getting out in the sunshine.  BTW - your house looks very dark in the pictures.  Can you open up the blinds and lighten up the rooms?    That will help a lot even though it causes higher energy bills.

Your poor son.  If you are already doing an hour or so,  that's more than enough.  He can't just do homework all the time - that's not how kids learn and develop.  From his picture he looks very movement oriented - have you had him try moving during studying?  Spell a word,  then jump on the minitrampoline 5 jumps.  Sit and spell a word,  jump on the minitrampoline 5 times.  Children who are moving actually learn better than those who are sitting still for long periods of time.

Best wishes.  Get up,  get out and move.  ;D
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