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Women's Health: Postpartum Community
26.1k Members
203342 tn?1328740807

This is for all the young teenage girls out there wanting a baby

Ok, I've seen too many posts from teenage girls to not be able to stay quiet anymore. PLEASE, PLEASE, girls, use your heads! You don't have to have a baby to prove you're grown up or because you're looking for something to love. You all are so young! You have your whole lives ahead of you! It's ok to do what you want. This is the one time in your lives that you can put yourself first. Go to college, get your degrees, dream big dreams! What did you always want to do? Go for it! You won't regret it. If you have a baby now, you will always struggle. Yes, you will love your child, but you will always wonder in the back of your minds what would have happened if you would have waited. You don't have to struggle! This is a life alterating decision that should not be taken lightly! Do something for yourselves first. And you may think I'm old-fashioned, but wait until you find that special someone. Get married, have that big wedding you always dreamed about as a little girl. Have that romantic honeymoon. Get to know your husband. Buy that house, save some money........then go ahead and plan for that new little life to complete your family! Please, I'm speaking from experience. I wasn't a teenager but I did get pregnant before I got married. We had to move up the wedding and I never did get my honeymoon. I didn't get that chance to have alone time with my husband first. We didn't have time to save for a baby. We started immediately going into debt. We had to put diapers on the credit card! I love my son with all my heart and I'm glad I had him, but I wish we had waited. We made things harder on ourselves because we didn't plan for our future. I'm still trying to go back to school. I wish now I would have done it when I was younger and had no one else to worry about but myself. It's much harder now. I've only been able to take a few classes here and there, and work part time to help with the bills.
Please girls, don't let any guys talk you into anything that you aren't sure of. It's ok to make something of your lives and put yourselves first before having a family. You will have more confidence and be proud of yourselves if you do. There's plenty of time to think about marraige and having babies! Don't be in such a hurry. You won't regret it if you wait. I hope I've been able to reach at least one person here and made you think. I'm not trying to lecture you. I care, I really do. I hope you all can see that. Be good to yourselves and go live out your dreams!
58 Responses
154929 tn?1196191338
Right On!  I was so glad I waited to have a child--I was 30 before my first one was born--pert waiting part infertiltiy problems--but still my husband and I were able to travel, I was also able to travel with girlfriends before having more than myself to worry about.  I read the stories on here about how girls don't know basic contraception facts--and that is just sad....A baby will not take the place of what is missing in your life--in may actually make your life so much harder than you really believe.  I still struggle and I am married with both sets of Grandparents living in town and my husband helps out a great deal with the kids and house work (his mom trained him right).  So I agree with you very much--plan your life and take what is out there for your self first.  You will then never regret the what ifs--later on.
Avatar universal
Nicely written....
I don't think people understand how difficult being a parent truly is....

210400 tn?1325384170
Being a parent is very difficult add in doing it at a young age and you give yourself unnecessary obsticles.

Great post!
127529 tn?1331844380
It is great to see such a heartfelt post from someone who has had the experience.

"We made it harder on ourselves because we didn't plan for our future"

It was brave of you to say such a thing.

Raising children is the hardest work I have ever done, I am glad I went to college, had a career, went on a few nice holidays, got married and went on honeymoon. I have all the memories from those times, I would never change what I have now to go back there but am so glad I experienced it all before having my first child at 28. I beleive the experiences I had during those years will help me be a better parent. I know plenty of people who had children many years before I did, they would never, ever say they regret having their children but many say they wish they had done more for themselves first.
256077 tn?1204231097
I had my first child at 17. Let me tell you that it is very hard. I love my kids, all 3 of them, but I too wish I would have waited. I wish I would have had someone to tell me exactly how hard it is to be in the prime of your life and being a parent. I dont regret my first child, not one bit, but were finally at the place we need to be. We have struggled for a little over 7 years and it was rough.
Yes I do think this was a much needed post, and it was beautifully said!
Avatar universal
it IS hard.. no matter how old you are.. it all depends upon experience.. and you are more likely to have not a whole lot when you are so young... in my Lab class.. most everyone is very young.. about 19-23 years of age... and omg..lol.. they complain about how tired they are.. how they have too much homework.. ( the class is accelerated) how stressed out they are.. how they never have enough time to do what they want. it goes on and on..

The older ones.. ( myself included.. lol)  just roll our eyes.. we laugh to ourselves.. because we know.. that they have it E - A - S - Y.  
How about this .  Get up at 5 am.. get your kids ready for school. in my case. i have 5 to get ready.. and a 5 month old to feed... bathe.. get ready for dad to take care of.. ( i have to lay most things out for dad..lol.. come on girls.. you know what i mean..) i get to school.. do the school thing..then i leave school... go the grocery store.. listen to drama from my 17 year old on the cell phone.. get home.. whats this? dads leaving for work!! i breastfeed zane.. .. THEN. i take off my shoes..lol... i eye what needs to be done around the house.. play with zane.. make snacks for the kids.... make appropriate phone calls.. attempt to pee..help out kids with homework.. throw some laundry in the washer...go outside.. feed the dogs.... see if the pool needs to be taken care of... listen to the kids tell me about their day.. ( i LOVE that) lol..come back inside.. take Hannah to cheer practice.. danial to his friends house.. pay as much attention to all the kids.. ( listen to guitar songs ... play with danial.... ( i know pokemon like the back of my hand.)  oh what? dinner time? time to make dinner... someone throw some food in my mouth .. breastfeed zane.. ahh a break!! pick up around the house.. ooo look! i need to eat some more!  itssssssss bathtime!! wooohooo i get to clean up toys... water off the floor... et cet c... its time to get danial.. hopefully hannah has a ride home.. because by this time.. i forgot to pick her up.. LOL just kidding..get home...its now getting late.. and i still have not doen the 3 chapters of SCHOOL i had earlier that day... cant do it now though.. i have kids!! they come first.. so.. after all the things.. that are associated with children are done.. i get to go pee... maybe even take 10-15 minutes to thank god that i am stilll sane.  then.. woohooo zane is awake again.. why? who knows.. hes 5 months old.. he does pretty much what he wants.. no matter how hard i try to convince him how interesting leuks and blood hemocrits are.. he doesnt care.. he wants to play.. so.. I play with him.. thats all there is too it. i cant just park him somewhere and do my homework.  well... after all are tucked in bed.. house sorta picked up... half a cup of food is deposited somehow in my belly.. i get to .... guess what!! do that homeowrk.. OH YEAH! its almost always 11-12 o clock.. mad dash for homework now.. oh yeah! daddy is home now.. he wants to eat.. screw it. he can smack buttons on a microwave.. wow... honey.. it was so nice to see you today..LMAO>. GOODNIGHT!  ahhh i got 4 hours of sleep.. wow.. i feel awesome..

the whole point of this post.. is to tell the teens  out there.. and the ones who are very young.. its mush easier to do what you have to do.. when you are that young.. having children is MORE THAN A FULL TIME JOB.. its HARD! and while VERY rewarding. believe me.. its more stressful at times when you have kids.. and are trying to juggle it all.. i was a teenage mom.. and it was HARD.. I have faith in anyone who is TRULY ready to take this on.. I will back anyone up for that.. but realize.. it IS EASIER when its just you in the beginning.. ask anyone who is my age and has done it..  HUGGS TO ALL>. baby dust.. all that stuff. while it may be for some. for others .. who have not thought it through with out a  really good plan.. its not.. if you make that decision to have children so young.. then be ready to suck it up and do what you have to do .. know that you cannot depend on those who you think you can.. in the end.. its up to you to do what you have to do .  i love my family more than life itself.. and wouldnt change a thing. i look back on it.. and say.. wow.. i did it.. and there of course are others who have done better than i have.. who had children as teens.. but.. please think it though. KNOW what you are doing!
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