Women's Health: Postpartum Community
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Avatar universal

Update and please use for open forum

I got back home last night and had to go straight to work.

My mother had cardiac arrest a total of 4 times, and is still living--believe it or not!  Unfortunately, tests have shown her heart is extremely enlarged and she has severe narrowing of her heart valves and at age 84 (esp. with her many serious health problems) there is nothing to do but keep her comfortable.  She is in and out of consciousness and makes the occasional lucid remark.  She is going to a nursing home today.

My dad's Alzheimers is much much worse-he is combative and argumentative and now wanders at night.  I stayed with him for the weekend and my poor sis is staying with him until we can get him into the Alzheimers unit at the center where he lives.  There is some hope today of getting a sitter or a nurse for the night times until then, thank God.  The trouble is, is that there are no beds available right now so we just have to limp along until we can find him a safe place.  

Message to all with elderly parents--MAKE SURE THEY HAVE A LIVING WILL AND KNOW WHERE IT IS.  My mother DID have a living will and never told anyone about it or made her wishes known to us--so she was resuscitated and put through a hell she didn't want.

BE SURE YOU HELP YOUR FOLKS MAKE ONE.  You don't need a lawyer for this, either.  Don't let them put you off or tell you it's morbid.  Do it.  I wish my Mom had just been able to pass away rather than live the way she is now for God knows how much longer.

Thanks for all your good wishes and prayers.
11 Responses
Avatar universal
Big hugs to you! I have made sure i have have the orginals to my mother's living will and all local hospitals have a copy. We learned about this when my Dad had cancer and I plan on doing one before I have the baby just in case. I hope they find placement for your Dad soon.
Avatar universal
I'm so sorry you are going through all this.  I pray that God answers your prayers for whatever you and your family wish for.  I know its very diffucult to see your parents going through life saving techniques. You are absolutely correct about the living will.  Although not written I know my parents wishes and my mom had a heart attack last year which I actually had to act upon what we had discussed. She survived but I had to go through all this with the dr in the ER, it was crazy. I will however talk to my parents about typing it up and putting it in writing their exact wishes.
Avatar universal
I'm so sorry!!!
I do hope that your mother goes home to be with the Lord soon as to have no more suffering here in this world.
I also hope they find placement for your father soon. I know how hard Alzheimers can be on a family.....it has to be much harder on the person having it...being confused all the time and people telling him/her that things aren't as they believe they are or should be.....it's very sad.
Best of luck to you and your family and I'm glad you are back, you were missed.
Avatar universal
What a hard time for you and your family.  You're in my prayers.
Avatar universal
Since you were gone and missed the news I just wanted to update you and hope maybe I can brighten your day a bit.......
As you may know......My ds Talon will be 9 months on the 27th (I have been here through my entire pregnancy, delivery and since).......I am currently 6 weeks pregnant...:)
We are so excited!!!
Just wanted to give you the good news as I know you won't have time to go back and read all the posts!!
Avatar universal
i'm so sorry hun....i am keeping you and your sis in my prayers and i will pray that your dad gets a bed soon and to take mom home soon.

i agree with you though about the making a living will....it is very important....
and now that you mention it, i know my parents have one...of course i don't know what is in it other than they don't want to live on tubes.

thanks for the great advice i think i will talk with my mom tonight!
Avatar universal
I'm so happy for you!  I actually read your post just prior to my sister calling to tell me about mom, so I apologize in not having responded sooner.

How wonderful!  Seems like just yesterday you were delivering!
Avatar universal
oh man!!! I am so sorry. I actually work for a long term care insurance company and my job now is to look at power of attorneys and living wills all day- so I know how important they are.

god be with you, and don't beat yourself up over resusitating- you and your family had no way to know.
Avatar universal
I know.....doesn't it.....I can remember vividly being in the delivery room and then them taking my baby boy away not breathing.....
I will not be receiving the Demoral or the Morphine this time around.....!!!!!! That's forsure!!!

Perfectly alright that you did not respond!!!! I didn't even figure you were able to take the time to go back in the posts.
I can only imagine how hard it is on you seeing both your parents health decline. I know I am not looking forward to that in my own family and I have been prepared for my fathers death for years because of his heart problems. But no matter how "PREPARED" you are, or think you are, I know it will still be one of the hardest things I will ever have to deal with.
Prayers and hugs your way!!!!
Stay strong!!!
Avatar universal
Sorry about what you are going through with your parents. I don't know what I will do when my parents become ill and/or elderly. Just hearing about yours makes me what to call mine up and spend some time with them. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Take care! ~Kristen
Avatar universal
Boy, when it rains it pours. You poor thing haven't had a break. I'm so sorry you are having to go through all this. You and your family are in my prayers. You sure are being tested. Best wishes to you.
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