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Women's Health: Postpartum Community
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Avatar universal

We need to figure out a schedule. please, help us!

I've always fed and put my 5 mos old to bed for her naps on demand.  Pretty much everything has been done whenever she wanted to do it.  I saw nothing wrong with that, however, it's becoming more and more of a mess.  And I'm beginning to see that our lives would be so much easier if we knew exactly when she'll be sleeping,eating, etc...Plus, she still doesn't go to bed on her own and is very cranky closer to the evening.  I was thinking maybe I should move her bedtime up to 9 pm instead of 10 pm.  Anyway, what are your bedtime routines and do you have any routines for naps?  I seriously need some help figuring out how we should have her day more scheduled.  Thank you for sharing.
18 Responses
Avatar universal
Forgot to mention that DD has reflux and takes meds for it.
Avatar universal
Welcome to the rest of your life!!!!  Enjoy the chaos!  Mine are 22 and 24 (years!) and still aren't on a schedule!

Gram
Avatar universal
Im suprised she has not put herself on a schedule,try every day same time laying her down, if she wont go by herself then lay with her few min. try getting her to bed earlier see if that helps, does the meds make her sleepy? its hard to tell if her crying is the reflux or just mad you left her. You can also try routine bath,lotion up,song while you are doing it, look at book, just some ideas, we have 11 so ask away. I should mention my 3yr boy still sleeps with us at night sometimes oooooops. I cant help it he such a mommas boy he likes my hair.
130265 tn?1450986981
hmmm, I also let my kids put themselves on a schedule. I never believed in making them do what should come natural b/c it fits my schedule better. My 3 1/2 yo one day stopped taking naps. I always feed her on command. She does eat meals with us, but also many mini meals in between. MY 17 month old does the same, but I never know when he's going to take his nap. Some days he doesn't, he'll go to bed earlier. I'm doing the same with my next lil' baby (in 2 months). I did however manipulate their bedtime so that it fits better with mine. I work nights, so my kids don't go to bed until around 11pm or so, and get up between 9-10am. Before I did this, my younger one would go to bed at 7pm and be up at 5am. When I don't get to sleep until midnight after work, it was living hell, so I had to do something. But, other than that, I just listen to what my babies need.
130265 tn?1450986981
BTW, what time do you get up in the morning? Changing her bedtime would I think mainly depend upon that.

I also wanted to add, that as the kids get older, their schedule's going to keep changing with their needs.
Avatar universal
I get up at 6 am to go to work.  She may wake up at 7 am or sleep until 9am so my mil gives her the bottle.
164559 tn?1233711618
Hi,

I think your dd will soon settle into her own shedule.  I would recommend trying to put her down earlier at night, then you and your dh will have a little alone time.  When my ds was 5 months our dd was almost 13.  The joke in the house was they both had the same bedtime, 9!  Now he is 3 and he is in bed at 8 and I am in bed before my dd.

If you are comfortable having her in your bed, I think that is cool.  If you want her out....put her in her crib when she is drowsy.  If she stirs, try comforting her in the crib.

To Mom of 11, my three year old son also likes to sleep with us.  He waits until we are asleep and sneaks in.
Avatar universal
My girls get up at 6 am every day, they get dressed, eat breakfast, and the oldest goes off to school. The youngest (3) stays home. She eats lunch at 11:30 and is in bed for nap by 12, sleeps till almost 3 pm, and gets up. We go get my oldest from school at 3:15( which is 5) They eat dinner at 6 pm, play for a while, get in the tub at 7:30 pm, and are in bed by 8 pm every day. On Saturday and Sunday same except the oldest does not go to school and takes a nap at 12 pm with my youngest. That
93532 tn?1349374050
While my kids were infants and nursing, I let them go on their own schedule. It was still pretty predictable when they napped and you could just about set your watch to when they would nurse (all the time,lol) Once they weaned, we started guiding them a little more with naps. In our house, my 2 year old goes to bed at around 7:30pm, awakens around 7am or so and has a quiet time/nap at noon until 2pm or so. My 5 year old goes to bed at 8pm, has his quiet time after my 2 year old wakes up. He may sit up and read, he may nap, but he usually comes down just in time for supper at 4:30 or 5.

It took a while to figure what worked for us and it turned out earlier bed may have made for earlier rising, but it made for much happier kids and smoother bedtimes. Napping too late also posed a problem, so we bumped it up earlier in the day.

It is all tiral and error, but once you find your niche, it will be heaven!

Andrea
Avatar universal
I also play the mobile to her every time I put her in her crib so that she knows it's time to go to sleep.  She screams like there is no tomorrow when she feels me put her down in her crib.  We thought to try the CIO method but it didn't work for us b/c I couldn't take it and I didn't know if she was crying b/c of her reflux or what.  I guess I'll try putting her down to sleep earlier than 10 pm.  We'll see if it helps.
Avatar universal
WE go see a GI specialist for her reflux once a month.  He told me that she'll grow out of it eventually and that we'll try weaning her off the meds at the age of one (but I personally want to do it earlier).  We'll see how it'll go.  The problem with reflux is that you never know if she's crying b/c she's uncomfortable due to reflux or b/c she's just cranky.  It's a pain in the !@#$.  Anyway, she might be teething b/c she's been crankier lately.  If it's not one thing, it's another.  It never ends!
118074 tn?1228332603
I am sorry girl, you are right, there's always something LOL!  I hope she will grow out of it soon.  Poor baby, I can imagine dealing with that as an adult.   Is the med helping?  Gavin is still battling eczenma and cradle cap.  How long do you plan on nursing?  My goal is 6 months but every time I think about quitting or supplementing, I change my mind.  I think I AM ATTACHED to my son LOL!
Avatar universal
the meds have made a big difference.  i plan on breastfeeding for as long as I can.  btw, i finally found the fenugreek.  how do you take it (how often, etc) and how often do you drink the tea?  do you mix and match or do you take them together? (the tablets and the tea).  thank you.
129291 tn?1205780063
DOLLY, HOW DID YOU GET GAVIN TAKE HIS BOTTLE? WE HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR A WEEK, ONCE A DAY, BUT NO SUCCESS YET! IS MY DH TOO WEAK? HE ALWAYS COMES UP WITH AN EXCUSE AND THEN HE DOES NOT TRY MORE THEN ONCE. AND I KNOW SHE WILL NOT TAKE IT FROM ME, SO I AM PRETTY STUCK WITH HER. ANY ADVISE? WE HAVE ALL THE BOTTLES/NIPPLES THERE IS, JUST DOES NOT WANT TO TAKE IT. SHE KINDS OF PLAYS WITH IT AND THEN PUSHES IT OUT WITH HER TUNG OR THROWS A FIT! ANY ADVISE APPRECIATED!
PETANKA
118074 tn?1228332603
I never put my son on a set schedule since he was born so small (5lb 10oz).  I nurse him or my mom give him a bottle breast milk every 2.5-3 hours.  With that said, he kind of fell into his own schedule.  He's been going to bed around 8:00-8:30 pm and I'd wake him to eat before I turn in myself (not sure if that's the right thing to do but I want to keep up my supply) and nurse him during the night if he wishes.  I then wake him up before I leave for work at 8:00 to either nurse him or get him ready.
He'd take a nap in the morning and another one in the afternoon.  
I find having a nap/night time ritual is very helpful.  He has a mobile that plays different sounds or nursery rhymes, and I make it a point to play it every time he goes down.  Sometimes, he'd whine or cry but I just leave him in his bassinet with the mobile on and he eventually falls asleep on his own.  Hope this help.
Dolly
118074 tn?1228332603
Well, you can try to put her to sleep earlier but if she is not ready or bed, she might get crankier.  Gavin used to go to bed at 11:00 pm and I let him since I was on maternity leave.  I think ke knows mama has to go to work so he "decided" to go to bed earlier.  
Is she napping alot during the day?  Try not to let her nap pass 4:00 pm.  Gavin ususally will get a bath late afternoon and/or have some rice cereal which surely keeps him awake, I get home around 5ish, nurse him or play with him.  When dinner time comes around we put him in his bouncer so he can "sit" with us at the dining table.  By the time we are done, I'd nurse again then put him down.
Try not to stress about the schedule, and continue with your ritual.  Do you think she is fussy because of her reflux or because she is not content after you nurse her?  Have you talked to the pediatrician about the refluxes, is she going to grow out of it?  A freind of mine has the same problem, she finally gave up nursing since she wasn't making enough milk (her dds has acid reflux as well)and her daughter was so much happier on formula.  I don't know.  I am worry about the same thing.  I know how you feel since my baby was so small too and I feel strongly about breast milk.  I am ready to give him formula to supplement if he needs to eat more.  I don't want to but I will....
Dolly
Hang in there, it is nice to have somewhat of a schedule so you and your love one can have a late night out or some time alone in the evenings.
Avatar universal
There are pros and cons to both sides.  My DD is on a schedule and I really like it.  She sort of formed her own schedule once I had to go back to work when she was 4 months old.  Because I am waking her up everyday to go to daycare at 6:15am, she started going to bed earlier and now at 10 months old...she's like clock work.  She has NEVER been a cat napper and for that I am envious of some of my friends who can take their babies ANYWHERE and they'll just snooze when they need to.  My DD has to be in her crib in a dark room!  (But at least she'll go down on her own).  Anyway, she gets up at 6:15 during the week (7am on her own on the weekends)  Takes a morning nap around 9-10am and then an afternoon nap around 1-2pm.  She then goes down for the night between 6:30-7:00.  I really like having a schedule for her because she's predictable and you can easily plan your day around it.  Before having my DD I thought I would be a "fly by the seat of your pants" kind of gal...but I'm really glad it's worked out this way.  The first 4 months catered to her...and now it's smooth sailing!  

It IS possible to set your DD to a schedule if that is what you want.  I was advised by an occupational therapist friend of mine on this matter.  It will just take diligence, reading her cues for a few days (what times she seems to be tired) and then start putting her to sleep around these same times everyday.  Good luck and let me know how it goes!
Avatar universal
Thank you for your advice.  She is developing "a schedule" so to speak.  She will nap around the same time but it may be for 30-45 minute naps.  I don't know if she's getting enough.  We'll try putting her to bed earlier every night.  Let's see how that goes.
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