did your consultant give you insight into why your dd is having difficulties feeding? i saw a consultant yesterday, and she spent 2 hours working with us in our home. she examined the baby's mouth, tongue, nose, etc... and my nipples. she watched how the baby takes a bottle, and what she does while latched on. she carefully weighed the baby before and after each time we tried to latch her to see how much she was actually eating. we ended up trying a nipple shield because my baby's mouth is a bit too small still for my nipples. i also learned that she isn't breast feeding because she's not mature enough. she has trouble coordinating breathing and swallowing. in addition, she will swallow milk that i let down into the nipple shield, but does not have the strength or energy to draw milk out of the breast on her own. she taught me which signs and clues to look for like motions of the mouth and throat, etc... to know if she's sucking on her own successfully. sounds to me like your baby isn't quite mature enough yet (often the case when they fall asleep at the breast i was told). she told me that it often takes term babies 2 weeks to latch on properly, and can take even longer. in my case, since the baby was born 4 weeks early and her due date isn't even for another week, we will practice once a day, but give her more time. in the mean time, i will continue to pump and feed her with a bottle.
as for bottle feeding... do you indend on pumping and feeding her expressed breast milk? if so, make sure you get a good pump to get your supply up until she's ready to exclusively breast feed. we had be using the gerber nuk nipples, but the consultant wants us to change since it's not at all like a real nipple. she said avent would be good, except that it's hard for the baby to suck the milk out of them. i suspect your baby would have difficulty with them, since she isn't sucking the breast successfully. she wants me to use the disposable ones the hospital gives you because of the shape and the rapid flow, but honestly we tried it last night and didn't like it so we're going to look for something similar today. the baby was dribbling way too much and spitting up with them. i don't have any advice on getting her to start taking a bottle since my dd has been a champ at bottle feeding from the start.
it definitely sounds to me like you need the help of a lactation consultant and i am very surprised she wasn't able to help you. they should help with more than just getting the baby to latch on.
Don't quit yet!!! Call for as much support as you can find!! Soooo many women go thru the same problems. Try another lactation consultant, the peds. MD, laleche or a support group you can go thru at the place you delivered. I had the same problem- it felt like nothing woke up my sleepy baby- even a cold press on her feet! Plus I'd get so pissed hearing that where I sat there for 40- 45 min. a feeding (then turned right around and had to feed again) while my friends would feed for 10 mins. I'd say "I'm quitting!" everyday, but am soooo happy I stuck it out. It's so good for them. The best support (over lact. consults) was my hospital's mom breastfeeding group- women who went thru the same thing! Good luck