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Women's Health: Postpartum Community
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Avatar universal

sent home to miscarry. feel helpless

okay finally spoke with the dr who said my numbers although are still going up are are not good and with a progesterone levels at 3.6 it doesn't look good.  I have no cramping or bleeding how long do you think this will take.  please pray for a miracle  I need one..  don't know how I will hold up seems surreal now...  have an appt with fertility dr 12/5/06. hope they are nicer than my dr..  I hate all this seems so unfair...  I try not to question god answers knowing that everything happens for a reason but I am starting to question him.  please pray that I will be able to make sense of it all.  two m/c in 4 months with NO answers...  thanks for listening
25 Responses
150483 tn?1212172156
I know how hard it is.When its your baby & the stupid drs just send you home to m/c,they have no heart, not all but most.I to ?'d god its a normal part of grieving.Plaese know that I will pray for you & your in my thoughts...nanis
Avatar universal
Did he give you an option of having a d&c? I waited over 2 weeks to m/c and never did. It was not so fun! I'm sorry you are dealing with this, and a not so nice DR too. I hope you get some answers from the RE.
Avatar universal
i'm so sorry!  I know EXACTLY how you are feeling!  Last week when I got my bad news, I found the following post by Keisha B - it contained the exact right words I needed to hear at the exact right time. I hope it helps you too. And Keisha - hope you don't mind me reposting your post!

Hi ladies! I have posted several times on here and always take the time to read what a lot of people are going through. Hey join the club! Im currently going through a lot with my baby at 6wks4d wondering if it's a blighted ovum(according to one doctor) when i have a hunch it's not. Anyways there are a lot of strong women on this site and you all have such powerful stories. You provide hope when some think it's all gone. I dont know how religious alot of u are but God has a way with working things out. Does anyone know how silver is purified?? Well a silversmith will hold it over fire untill he see's his reflection, then he'll remove it. But not untill a clear reflection of him is in the silver which signifies all is good. As with God. Ladies we are placed into that fire with our everyday issues. And it hurts because it hits us close to the heart...our babies. Let God see his reflection in you and all will be purified also. Keep your faith. I know it may be tough. i found myself questioning Gods work askin "why give me such a blessin and take it back" and you know what, I was wrong for that. How dare me to question God's plan. I prayed and told God I need him and i surrender to his plan for me. Ladies in that time of need if you cant always go to your husband or your doin it all alone, tell God to be with you and i assure you all will be just fine. I know this is long but somone out there needed to hear it just as i did. Everything happens for a reason ladies. Just remember HE MAY NOT COME WHEN YOU WANT HIM, BUT HE'S ALWAYS ON TIME!!!(((hugs)))
159047 tn?1213900473
I'm so sorry for what you're going through.  I can relate since I just went through my 2nd m/c in 4 months.  I read some of your previous posts and saw that you're LMP was 10/9--meaning you're only 3 weeks along.  Is it just me, or does it seem really early for them to say you're definitely miscarrying.  Since you're not bleeding or cramping, why aren't they at least trying to get your progesterone levels up?  (Maybe you already asked this question.)  If this pg does not work out, I hope you find some answers from your fertility specialist and have a healthy pg next time.  Hugs...
162331 tn?1390022267
I'm so sorry that you are going through this.  I have suffered much too.  You hang in there and keep trying.  I just know you are going to make an awesome Mommy.  I know the Doctor's can be insensitive at times.  They see this kind of stuff everyday and it just comes matter of fact to them.  They just don't realize that this may be normal and part of the job to them but to the individual your life is turned upside down.  Remember, God is for you not against you.  It doesn't seem like that some days but it is true.  You keep fighting and build your faith to trust what His word says and not what your emotions say.  Exodus 23:26...There will no infertility or miscarriages among his people and they will live long lives.  I pray that God gives you a miracle and the baby is okay and that you do not miscarriage.
Avatar universal
No hun!!  I dont mind at all! (((smile)))

5preg2b, you hang in there.  Trust me i know how hard it is.  My progesterone is only at 6.5.  But you know what, all theses doctors are comparing pregnancies to textbooks and only one person can give you the outcome of what will happen and that's God honey.  Im 7 weeks this week.  I dont know how many days exactly but they said i may have a blighted ovum.  My HCG is rising but not exactly doubling though.  I started bleeding this weekend and it has slowed a little.  Girl, you'll get to a point where you may feel like there's nothing else you can do.  You'll feel so stressed and hurt and find yourslf questioning God's work.  Hun in that time Let Go and Let God!!!  Dont necessarily give up hope.  The only thing you can do is PRAY!!  And yes i will pray for you just as i pray for all the other women on here.  Once you really relax you'll really get the full understanding of everything happens for a reason.  Should you go on to loose this baby, please just know that God has something else in store for you right now.  Good luck to you!! Bye!
Avatar universal
he said that my levels were abnormally low.  the numbers are not doubling or even close,  my last numbers were at 909.  two days ago at 700.  I just wonder how long it will take.  I am extremely lightheaded and find it very frustrating.  I pray for a miracle.  MY RE seems nice enough.  I realy dislike my obgyn's office but they came highly recommended.  I knew my levels before they did.. Completely disgusted but will continue on with the RE for one more try.  if it doesn't work I will be done..  for three weeks 909 is a good number but 5 days ago my numbers were 435 so maybe thats why.  I'm gonna go tonight to get some otc progesterone creme,  at least I will feel I've done all I could do...
Avatar universal
You will be in my prayers...and I do hope you have a miracle :)

Maybe you should consider a new MD? I think it is very important to be comforatable with your doctor...especially with something sooo important.

Good luck! ( and lots of sticky baby dust)
164559 tn?1233711618
I two have had miscarriages.  I know it is heartbreaking.  I would listen to your heart, not the doctor at this point.  You are very early in your pregnancy and God may give you the miracle you are praying for.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

c
152852 tn?1205717026
I'm so sorry.  When I was told I was miscarrying, my doctor passed me a Kleenex box while he wrote notes and suggested a D&C and Cytotec and talked about my age (42) and how I can look into egg donation next time.  I wanted to tell him to shut up--it would have been better if he had said nothing.  I just don't think they think or they maybe they look at it medically and avoid the emotional side for self-preservation reasons (?).  I don't think I could break this news to women on a regular basis.

I will be thinking about you and praying for a miracle.  By the way, I ended up not miscarrying.

Hang in there.
Avatar universal
I can certainly understand what you are going through.  I will be 7 weeks tomorrow.  We had an u/s done last thursday and there is a yolk sac, fetal pole and hb.  My original HCG numbers were 32 three days later 101 three days later 350 one week later 2244 and one more week 3809.  At that point we did no more since they can now base age from u/s's.  I have been taking Prometrium ( progesterone suppliment) and that level is 65.3.  I go in on Nov 9th for my 8week u/s and hope to see good growth and a heartbeat because right now the gestational sac is 6 days smaller then the baby.  The hard part is last year the day before thanksgiving we went for our ten week u/s to find no heartbeat the gestation sac measured three weeks smaller thena the baby.  I am taking this pregnancy as a blessing from the lord to help me fill the void of last year.  I am also scared out of my mind and worry all teh time.  Be positive and try to remain calm.  I will keep yo uin my prayers.

Shannon
Avatar universal
Firstly I just wanna say that you have been inspirational to all of us here. I have been through a miscarriage this wknd and lost my twins. They were blighted ovums. I have learned that God does indeed have a plan for us. At first I was angry, but who are any of us to question the Lord's intentions? He will bless us. You are a strong person for the words that you express and I want you to know that you will be blessed. There is a prayer in Queens, NY for you being said tonight.
126702 tn?1240891850
I am so sorry that you have to go through so much at the moment. I miscarried in Feb but landed up having to have a D&C as it just went on and on and in the end i was begging the doctors to do something for my sanity. SO my experience is dont be afraid to ask for proper medical attention and trust your intutition.

PS: I just dont understand why our lives still goes on  just as if we had a cold!
159354 tn?1286371288
I'm so sorry you have to go through this.  My drs gave me that option to but each week I went back in for a u/s to see if anything improved...it didn't.

I eventually had a d&e after 3 weeks of hoping and praying.

If you don't m/c in the next 5 days, make sure they look at you again.

I'm so sorry...You know my story, I have had 3 m/c....2 natural and this last with a d&e....it never gets easier but GOD is good and will bless you.

HOLD CLOSE TO HIM
Avatar universal
I see another dr today for another opinion.  I'm not bleeding or anything.  no crampying.  The dr didn't even recommend another ultrasound..  Actually he hasn't even examined me.  I have not seen this dr since I found out.  I feel so alone.  I am so glad I have all of you.  Thanks.  I do pray for a miracle that will let me kneep my baby.  I do have an appointmnet with an RE in DEcemeber and I'm very excited about it..
159354 tn?1286371288
I'm not trying to dampen your hopes but I too did not have any bleeding or cramping with my last pregnancy.

After 2 m/c with a ton of cramping and bleeding...I refused to believe that my 3rd pregnancy was not viable even after 2 u/s with no hb or fetal pole.

It is very very possible to have what seems to be a normal pregnancy...I had morning sickness...huge, sore breasts and ligament stretching but the baby was not developing right and was not alive.

Just be careful...How far along are you suppose to be?
Avatar universal
I'm so sorry - and understand the pain you're going through. I just miscarried at 11 weeks. I went for a routine scan all excited about seeing my baby for the first time, to be told that it had stopped growing at 8 weeks and there was no heartbeat.

The doctor told me to go home and my body would do the rest. I was told to come back if I hadn't miscarried in two weeks. Bleeding didn't start for a few days and then only light. I carried on going to work, because I hadn't told anyone I was pregnant, and sat at my desk for 4 days worrying and wondering what would happen. I eventually lost my baby and continued bleeding for almost two weeks. In a way, it gave me time to grieve. The worst thing was still feeling SO pregnant. I kept thinking that by some miracle the doctors had made a mistake.

Miscarriage is such a lonely process - my heart goes out to you. God Bless
Avatar universal
Thank you so much for that!  I am so greatfull that there are so many nice people here to show a genuine interest in the well being of others.  God bless you hun!!
Avatar universal
Hello everyone i have been where you are i cant begin to tell you how much i feel your pain. i to got pregnant, then when i went to hear the heartbeat at 12 weeks and there was nothing. they took  me to have an ultrasound and said the baby was dead. Then they scheduled me for a D&C. I was devastated. i got mad at god. then my brother who was in highschool told us his girlfriend was pregnant 1 week after i lost my baby. it was so hard watching these two kids having a kid. when i was a married woman and just lost mine. it took me several months but then one day at church god touched my heart. what happened to me was suspossed to make me stronger in the lord. i started seeking god and telling him i wanted his was. then 5 months after i misscarried i found myself pregnant again. yes i was nervous it was going to happen again but this time i was wrong. I am now sitting here looking a beautiful healthy 6 month old baby boy. he is thejoy of my life. his name is malachi (like in the bible)
If your hearts desire is to become a mother seek the lord and you will recieve that in time. remember he always knows best. while it may seem as if this is never going to happen, believe me JOY is coming. maybe even sooner than you think!!!!!!!!!!
GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND YOUR BABIES!!!!
Avatar universal
I am glad to hear that there is atleast one dr out that is willing to listen to you and help you out as much as possible. Good luck :)
Avatar universal
well went to a different dr today.  they are catholic affilates,  so they will not give up hope.  they gave me 200im of progesterone and will scan me tomorrow to check the cyst and see about the pregnancy.  They gave me hope.  hope and prayers is what I need thanks for all of your support..
152852 tn?1205717026
I'm glad you found another doctor.  I was told that the hcg numbers can't truly be trusted--if they go up during a suspected miscarriage, it could be because the test results are from the placenta and the placenta hangs on for a bit after the baby stops developing (and that's why you continue to feel pregnant).  My numbers weren't doubling, but went up a bit (this is when I was told about the placenta situation--they were trying to convince me that it was over).  Like I said, it ended up being ok in the end.  I'm not trying to give you false hope...just trying to say that testing isn't foolproof and I really believe that you need to be at a place where you feel ok with what you are being told.

Still praying.  Please keep us updated.
Avatar universal
how did your turn out?? are you still pregnant or have you m/c or given birth??
152852 tn?1205717026
I'm still pregnant--23 weeks, due March 2nd.
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