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Women's Health: Postpartum Community
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Avatar universal

spacing out your kids?

i have a question. as some of you know (if the pregnancy/mommy brain hasnt gone out the window) i wrote back (like way back) that my husband gave me a limit on how many kids we can have. well i dont know what changed his mind but now all of a suddin he wants to "Fill our house up with kids" his words not mine. my question is HOW FAR DID YALL SPACE YALLS KIDS OUT?? the supprised ones and the planed ones.  Jesse-Sophia is 2 months today. and we were thinking that once she is 2 we will start to try again. that way by the time she is almost 3 she can help mommy and daddy with whatever intrests her in to helping us.(getting the bottle, throwing away the diaper(sp?) etc.)
  atleast that is how far we agreed to try to space them out unless god has other plans.
13 Responses
158812 tn?1189759426
I got pregnant again when my first was seven months old.  They will be one year apart in school, and my oldest doesn't remember life w/out her brother.  They are best friends, and do everything together.  Because they are only 17 months apart, they have always been interested in the same activities, television shows, songs, games, etc.  There was no resentment when the second baby came, because she was to young to know the difference.

p.s. a ONE year old can throw away diapers, fetch something, and help a little.  She'll pretend feed a baby doll at 12 months.....
Good luck in whatever you choose.
152852 tn?1205717026
My two are almost 11 years apart.  (Same dad--we've been married for for 19 years.)  I know the gap is big and they won't really play together like they may have had they been closer in age, but I see no sibling rivalry in our future--my ds (11 yo) is SO sweet, doting, loving, and protective.

My sister and I are just 2 years apart.  I don't recall feeling jealous.  Actually, I don't remember ever being without my sister.  I kind of think that at the age of 3 is when you might have some confusion, jealousy, etc.  My sister's son had a hard time adjusting to his baby brother at the age of three.
Avatar universal
My 2 boys are 20 months apart and although they are still little (2.5 years and almost 9 months), they interact really well together.  Every now and then my oldest will say something like "Daddy take him" wanting my husband to take my youngest so I can hold him, but that could also be related to me being gone so much for cancer treatments, etc....

I think they are the perfect age apart.  Because of birthdays they will be 2 years apart in school, so hopefully that will keep too much competition away in the teenage years.  Our next one we will adopt, but we won't do that for another 4 years (ish) so I will be done with school...but we also aren't demanding an infant..anywhere under 4 years old is what we will probably request.  

Anyhow, I think it's really a personal decision.
Avatar universal
heather is 17... Gage is 14.... RObert is 11...... RIchard would have been 8... Danial is now 7.. Hannah is 6.. and wow.. Zane is now 3 months old!!

i tried to space them out by at least 2-3 years... seems that it worked out really great..until i started not spacing at all..lol.. with Zane here now.. i have 5 very helpful kids.. each at there own age of personality... Heather likes to dance with him.. Gage like to make funny faces.. and emulate celebrities..Danial like to just talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk to him.. and hannah. well. she likes to baby talk with him.. all the time..

zane was our little surprise blessing. and even that space from hannah being 6 and zane being just born in april.. its a great space.. i cant really think of what would be a bad space..lol.
Avatar universal
My two children are 2 1/2 years apart.  They are perfect together.  When my son was a newborn, my daughter was old enough to understand what was going on and excited about the new baby, and now that they are a little older (she is almost 5 and he is 2) they play together.  
Avatar universal
i think its what you can handle.  i know most try to keep it around 3 years apart. my sis and i are, we are best friends now, but not always the case lol..  my son is almost 9 and im due in dec, didnt plan it that way but i love it anyway.  i hope they can be somewhat close.  it wont be like if they were a few years thats for sure.  
Avatar universal
thanks. i was just wondering, because I am 23 my middle sister is 15 and my baby sister is 9 all of our birthdays are: Mine dec. 26/(15) Savannah is Dec. 29/ and(9) Crystals is Dec. 21.  

and i get along with each of them but they cant get along with eachother. i was just wondering about other families.

((My mother didnt plan us to be that far apart it just happend like that. (she had 4 miscarriages) she had a m/c, me, another m/c, savannah, another m/c, crystal, another m/c, then found out she had cervical/overian(sp?) cancer, so no more babies or she said she would have keep trying and trying.))
154929 tn?1196191338
My boys are 20 months apart.  Now that they are 4 1/2 and almost 3 they are great frineds most of the time--sibling fights just like anyone else--though I don't have the jealousy because my oldest I think always remembers having his little brother.  We still have things that only the big guy can do and things that they both can do--though it will be nice in school because they will be a year apart and hopefully be able to be on the same sports teams growing up.  There are days that I do wish them farther apart but for the most part love them this close.  
210400 tn?1325384170
Well I've always figured 3 years is perfect. I still think that way. My brother and I are 8 years apart and thats way to far! My kids are 6, 3 (play great) 1 (the one and three year old are just starting to play).
164559 tn?1233711618
I have 5 brothers they are 44, 43, 42, I'm 40, 36 and 33.  We all fought like cats and dogs growing up but are great friends as adults and have been for probably the last 20 years.

My kids are 16 and 3.5 years.  They get along great.  It will be interesting to see what happens when this baby comes along in Aug.

So I guess there is no correct answer, do what works for you.  But be warned it is very normal for kids to squabble.  The Waltons really don't exist.
Avatar universal
well my kids are 15,12 and 9 and then I am due in 9 weeks.  we are looking foward to having the xtra hands and they are so excited about the baby..  good luck in whatever you decide..    
171768 tn?1324233699
i am 1 of 5. our ages are 29, 27, 26, 24, and 14 1/2. (i'm 27, my little sister who is the youngest is technically a half-sister, although she is 100% sister as far as any of us are concerned). i couldn't imagine growing up any other way. sure, we fought like cats and dogs at times, bt we were NEVER bored or lonely. it was me and 3 boys for a very long time. of course my family didn't have much money, but we didn't need fancy toys to keep us entertained. because we were so close in age, we were never really expected to care for each other (as in babysit), so there was never any resentment there. now that we're older, i really value how our relationship has evolved. of course, my mom had a lot of help when my little sister came along, but i feel like she's missing out on something because she doesn't have any siblings close to her age. of course, she benefits a lot from having siblings who are so much older, but it is different. i would love to have my kids to be about 2 years apart. plus, once they're school-aged i will go back to focusing on my career. it may be kinda selfish, but i want to have my children close together so that i can then focus on myself once they're a bit older and more independent.  
Avatar universal
Mine are a little over 3 1/2 yrs apart.  Would have been a few months closer but m/c.  I wanted to wait till my son was a little more independent beofre I got pregnant, I was so sick and it helped that he was big enough to be off playing when I ran for the bathroom.  We were past the potty training during my pregnancy and he can get his own snack if he needs it while I feed the baby, and sit right next to us.  He's such a big help and his little brother adores him.  Last night I had the little guy on my lap and when my older son came over to talk to me the little guy started smiling.  As soon as big brother walked away, it stopped, so I called my son back over.  As he was talking my little 3 month old began to giggle and continued till his brother walked away, so cute.  My sis has 3 kids ranging from 4 to 8 months and she runs like crazy.  She is having a hard time potty training her oldest one because she didn't have the time to do it when he was 2 or 3 because of her 2nd baby.  She now has 3 in diapers (well, 1 in pull ups).  My coworker also had a second baby same time I had mine, hers are just under a year and a half apart and she had a really hard time with the older one being too rough with the baby and hitting the baby, etc.  Just depends on the kids and personal preference.  I plan to have one more in about 2 yrs, can't wait too long as I hit 30 this year and want to keep up with my boys.
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