Avatar universal

taking vicodin and smoking while pregnant

First of all, I know that most of you are wondering if you're reading the title of my question correctly....yes you are, and I am very ashamed of myself.  This is a very hard thing for me to admit to, because I know that I am opening myself up to being condemned by many of you.  I know that what I'm doing is totally wrong, so I'm asking those of you that just want to tell me how horrible I am, to please refrain from doing so.  That's not why I'm here....

I am 28 weeks pregnant with my 4th child.  I became hooked on pain killers roughly 2 years ago when my husband was prescribed for having 2 herniated discs.  I started taking them occasionally as a "stress reliever," and now it has become completely out of control.  It started with percocet, but now I only take vicodin.  I was taking approx. 5-10/325 vicodins and a day during the first 4 months of my pregnancy, but I have cut down to 3 a day.  I want to quit all together, but am finding that very hard to do.  It also doesn't help that my husband takes them, so I have to be extra strong to refuse them while I know they are in the house at all times.

I am also a smoker, but have wanted to quit for YEARS now, and have just recently cut down to about 5-6 cigarettes a day.  I know I sound like a hypocrite here, but I am very, very concerned about my baby's well-being.  I just had an ultrasound last week, and she looks great.  Her heart, organs, and physical appearance look totally normal, but I still am worried sick about her.  I feel guilty every day of my life.  I lose sleep at night to think that she might come out with mental or physical problems.  I will NEVER forgive myself if I have ruined her shot at a good, healthy life.  I want to quit everything now, but especially the pills before she is born because I do not want her to suffer from withdrawals.  I know that pregnancy is a precious, fragile, beautiful thing, and there are women out there that can't get pregnant, and here I am being stupid and selfish with my pregnancy.  I'm not looking for anybody to tell me that it's "perfectly okay" to be a "pill popper", but I do want to specifically hear stories from women that can relate.  Were your babies born healthy??  Did they have problems??  I'm not trying to justify my actions, and no matter what, I am on the road to quitting.  I am just desperate for some information from those of you that know what I'm going through.  None of my family or friends know this, and I absolutely hate having this skeleton in my closet.  My doc knows that I take them from time to time for the back pain I have associated with pregnancy, but he doesn't know the extent of my problem.  Please, Please help me if you can.....  

Thank you so much
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Avatar universal
Okay.....here we are at day #4....NO PILLS!!  I have overcome the sluggish, weak feeling I've had over the past few days, and it's been really hard to get a full night of sleep without them.....BUT, it's better than losing sleep because of the guilt!!  Every day is becoming easier, and it's becoming a distant thought.  I am struggling a little more with the smoking, however......(sigh)

Just to be honest, I am not down to 4 or less a day....back to like 6-8...........I have been a smoker for the past 11 years, and yes, I did smoke with my previous 3 pregnancies, and thank God, I had big, healthy babies....and I mean BIG!!  BUT, I know that it's still a risk, and every pregnancy is different, and I feel guilty every time I light a cigarette.  I'm kickin' myself and really trying to find the strength within myself to be done with it!!!  I don't even like smoking anymore.....it's just routine.  Any tips that you ex-smokers can offer me would be great.  I really, really, honestly want to be a non-smoker for the rest of my life.........help
Helpful - 0
134578 tn?1614729226
Good work, littlemama -- you said a mouthful when you said "it's better than losing sleep because of the guilt."  In fact, almost anything is better than living with guilt, or, the converse is true -- no matter how hard something is, if it is positive forward movement, it is deeply satisfying too.  Good luck, hon.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I just want to say thank you to the sweet, sweet lady who sent me a private email..... you know who you are. You are the first person to give a 'soft' approach, rather than a harsh one, and I truly appreciate it more than you know....in fact, you made me cry.

Thank you for congratulating me, and telling me that I am a good mom....I really needed to hear that.  You have inspired me more than anybody here, to fight my battle a little harder.  I'm so thankful, and so glad that you could see and understand how this forum I posted makes me very vulnerable to others' attacks.....even though not one of these women are perfect, and it's so easy for them to criticize and judge me.  You helped me see that I did a great thing by asking for help, and exposing my biggest secret.....something most people would not do.  

Thank You!!!!!
Helpful - 0
276983 tn?1308574048
Tips from an ex-smoker (smoked for 6 years... been smoke-free for 5 years):

(FYI:  a lot of these may seem silly, but I'm just listing what worked for me)

~ buy lots of hard candies, tootsie roll pops, basically any kind of candy that takes about as long to eat as it does to smoke a cigarette (and eat one of these candies whenever you get a craving... so you get a cavity or two... better than the alternative)

~ during any of your "ritual" times (ie: morning, with your coffee, after every meal, when you're bored, etc) as soon as you would normally pick up a cigarette, do ANYTHING else.. I know this seems vague, but literally do something to keep your mind away from the fact that you're not having that cig (this was an important one for me... when it was "time" to have a cig, I would go do something as silly as stepping outside or picking up a book and reading 2 pages)

~ snacking is always helpful... if you're worried about packing on the pounds, snack healthy (small things... grapes, strawberries, nuts, etc)

~ mentally... TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU'RE GOING TO QUIT... I attempted to quit 4 times in one year before I finally managed to do it for good, and that final time that I actually quit, I was my own personal "Cig-quitting-drill-sargent"... I told myself that this was going to be the final time, no questions, no excuses!

~ find a quitting-cig forum (medhelp might even have one)

Good luck... you should quit for your own health... but given the circumstance you're currently in, more importantly you should do it for the health of your baby.  She's well worth the agony of quitting any addiction.  
Helpful - 0
148691 tn?1260194903
Hun... I don't think anyone here attacked you....

What you are gonna find here is people who give you advice differently when you are doing something really wrong, specially affecting the life of an innocent unborn child: some people will 'sugar coat' it for you, most people won't.....

Either way, I am SOOO glad to hear about your progress!!! =) and I'm so proud! you are a strong woman, seems like, and can over come smoking as well.... much good luck to you!
Helpful - 0
127124 tn?1326735435
I missed this post until now.   Just wanted to say good luck. You've made a huge step by stopping the pills and now you can focus on the cigarettes.  I know you don't want to tell your Dr because you live in a small town but you really should just in case there are complications with the baby.      
Helpful - 0

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