I think you should talk to a doctor about it. It seems like you could have ADD. I don't think it is too late to get help. You deserve to have a life..
there is such a thing as "adult add" go ahead and research it and see if you fall under that catagory. i know you are looking for answers/a reason for your feelings and such. they even have checklists, a quiz if you will to see if you may have add. if it looks as if you do, print out the sheet and show your dr. you can certainly get on some meds to help.
The symptoms you've written about certainly point towards ADD. I have it and I wasn't diagnosed until I was 17 years old (going into my senior year of high school). People used to think that kids with ADD somehow outgrow it or it just disappears, but I know that is not the case. What usually happens is that you learn to adapt in situations and deal with your limitations the best you can as you get older, but it's still always a struggle, unless you do something about it.
Though my symptoms were somewhat different than yours, I too struggled in school and struggled to concentrate. I was put on Ritalin and it changed my life. I then began taking Adderall b/c it lasts longer for me and it has made things so much better. These medications are certainly not a cure-all for the disorder, but for me, they were the key to getting me to function the way I had always known I was supposed to function. I always felt disorganized (and still do to some extent) but it is much more easily managed now that I have been diagnosed and have the tools to help myself.
I have been off medication for almost a year now due to pregnancy, and have to admit it's been a struggle for me, but after I'm done breastfeeding I plan to go back on medication. I am 29 years old now and with the help of some tutoring, counseling AND medication I not only made it through 4 years of college, but I did well. So I know you can do it too!
I would suggest trying to find a psychiatrist in your area that specializes in dealing with ADD. Do a google search or maybe call around to some schools in your area and ADD and see if there are any doctors that pop up.
Good luck to you. It's life's been a struggle, but I you'll feel so much better after a diagnosis.
If you do get diagnosed with ADD, pay attention to how much dye you eat, especially red dye. Many studies have linked consumption of red dye to ADD/ADHD. I have a nephew who wets the bed if he consumes red dye. I've seen other kids wound tighter then a clock after eating it. Something to think about.
There are a few symptoms nessisary (sorry about the spelling)for a positive diagnosis of ADD/ADHD these are spontineity (random purchases, spur of the moment choices etc.)inability to focus and, lack of organizational skills (also unusually high amounts of energy in ADHD.)
I have ADD i was diagnosed at the age of 6 and have found many stragies to cope, instead of fighting it, flit from task to task, everything will stil get done quikly. getting alot of exercise helps, espesially aerobic. if possible get a 'fidget toy' such as a stress ball to fiddle with during mettings. when sitting forlong periods of time (at work) move and fidget the motion seems to help me focus. if you are unwilling to try medication, cafine can be used as ADD/ADHD medication, sounds counterintuitive but it works.
Also check your library for "hunters in a gatherer's world" and "Edison Trait" these books have coping meathods and self medication options. There are also theripists specalizing in ADD treatment.good luck!