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Boyfriend can't keep erection during intercourse. What do I do? How do I talk to him about it?
I'm having sex with a 23 year old guy.I really like him and we seem to have great chemistry.The only issue we have is that he has a major problem maintaining an erection during intercourse and/or oral sex and he has NEVER ejaculated in the very many times that we have been intimate.I am more successful at keeping it hard during oral sex but still no ejaculation.After the erection goes away, he still acts and seems very much aroused and wants me to continue stimulating him but there is no erection and it takes A LOT to get the erection to come back. Sometimes it just won't come back and then I give up.One other thing that I have noticed that is different in him than in other men I've slept with is that he has a somewhat painful look on his face during intercourse and arousal and I'm unsure if it is just a weird "O" face or what. Plus I have to be on top almost 90% of the time.I can tell he has somewhat low self confidence which make me think that I'm not the only one this has happened with and also I am slow to bring the subject up to talk to him about because he avoids my question. I've tried asking him what he likes me to do and he either doesn't respond or his response is simply "whatever you do is great". During the moment of "failure" when he looses his erection I try my best to act like its no big deal and help boost his confidence but I can't help thinking that I could possibly be the problem and it hurts my confidence as well.
My boyfriend and I wnet through this. He would get hard and foreplay would be great but once it came time for actual sex, he couldnt keep it up. Natually it bothered me and because of that, I stopped want ing to have sex. Finally we alked about it and it turns out sex is painful for him. He is 25 and in good shape but when he was in the navy he crushed his arm and injured his back. The pain and the pain killers made it hard to continue. I would reccomend talking, especially if he look like he's in pain. You may learn something.
Okay,
So reading all the above, confirms what I always thought...that its % 100 normal. It happens to ppl all over the world, all ages...young and younger too. I'll tell you my story:
I'm a 30 yr old male. Was married for 4 years. During that time, never once did I have a problem getting it up, or keeping it up. Maybe even the opposite problem with wanting it too much. lol Although I did love my wife...physically, and sexually, I was not attracted to her as I am with my new gf.
Thats right, we divorced and I'm now with a woman who I call "the girl of my dreams". I love this girl more than anyone other woman I've ever met. Sexually, I am so attracted to her fine body, I just want to **** her all the time. So we been together for 2 months now...during the first couple weeks...never really had a problem...well, I did...but here's where the next important piece of info comes in...I've been on prescription pain killers for a few years now. In case you didn't know...that stuff messes with your junk...so it was easy to attribute it to that. I decded that my junk is more important than the meds...so I quit...
Been clean for a week, and within the first few days...its like my penis was superman on extacy. lol Never felt it so hard. But then this past weekend...we were folling around, take our clothes off, start doing the do...and it fades like a Kobe jump shot. lol
I know whats wrong. Since there have been numerous times where this "fail" has happened...subconciously (or even consciously) we start thinking "OMG, penis don't fail me this time" before we even take off our boxers...sure enough, what happens ? Your focus becomes your reality. It cripples you. Then she thinks its her...and you have that akward few moments where you're both getting dressed and thinking FML !! lol
Whats important is this....IT WILL CHANGE !! It might take a few weeks, it might take a few months...maybe more. But if you love the person you're with....and are down to be patient until the mental block is overcome, one step at a time...then stick it out...b/c really, sex is only a small piece of a healthy relationship.
With my own situation, I have no doubt the drugs have desensitized my junk, where the brain isn't used to balancing out the naturla endorphins and dopamine that come along with sex...its still crazving the dopamine release from doing the drugs...I'm going to give it time. I've spoken with her, and she's really cool about it. She thinks she's not enough for me, and here I am thinking "oh great, now I've dissappointed her and she's going to go elsewhere"...thats B.S...neither of us really feel the way the other person thinks, and we're both just too focused on pleasing the other person.
Will let you know how it goes ;) But I'm pretty confident this will change. And pls do not resort to the blue pill...do it naturally. Believe it or not, take a teaspoon of honey, eat a banana half an hour before...and also eat watermelon...see if that helps ;)
So reading all the above, confirms what I always thought...that its % 100 normal. It happens to ppl all over the world, all ages...young and younger too. I'll tell you my story:
I'm a 30 yr old male. Was married for 4 years. During that time, never once did I have a problem getting it up, or keeping it up. Maybe even the opposite problem with wanting it too much. lol Although I did love my wife...physically, and sexually, I was not attracted to her as I am with my new gf.
Thats right, we divorced and I'm now with a woman who I call "the girl of my dreams". I love this girl more than anyone other woman I've ever met. Sexually, I am so attracted to her fine body, I just want to **** her all the time. So we been together for 2 months now...during the first couple weeks...never really had a problem...well, I did...but here's where the next important piece of info comes in...I've been on prescription pain killers for a few years now. In case you didn't know...that stuff messes with your junk...so it was easy to attribute it to that. I decded that my junk is more important than the meds...so I quit...
Been clean for a week, and within the first few days...its like my penis was superman on extacy. lol Never felt it so hard. But then this past weekend...we were folling around, take our clothes off, start doing the do...and it fades like a Kobe jump shot. lol
I know whats wrong. Since there have been numerous times where this "fail" has happened...subconciously (or even consciously) we start thinking "OMG, penis don't fail me this time" before we even take off our boxers...sure enough, what happens ? Your focus becomes your reality. It cripples you. Then she thinks its her...and you have that akward few moments where you're both getting dressed and thinking FML !! lol
Whats important is this....IT WILL CHANGE !! It might take a few weeks, it might take a few months...maybe more. But if you love the person you're with....and are down to be patient until the mental block is overcome, one step at a time...then stick it out...b/c really, sex is only a small piece of a healthy relationship.
With my own situation, I have no doubt the drugs have desensitized my junk, where the brain isn't used to balancing out the naturla endorphins and dopamine that come along with sex...its still crazving the dopamine release from doing the drugs...I'm going to give it time. I've spoken with her, and she's really cool about it. She thinks she's not enough for me, and here I am thinking "oh great, now I've dissappointed her and she's going to go elsewhere"...thats B.S...neither of us really feel the way the other person thinks, and we're both just too focused on pleasing the other person.
Will let you know how it goes ;) But I'm pretty confident this will change. And pls do not resort to the blue pill...do it naturally. Believe it or not, take a teaspoon of honey, eat a banana half an hour before...and also eat watermelon...see if that helps ;)
Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year now and I truly love him we work great together, its like we were made together. We do so much things that a regular couple does not do and that makes me really happy until I think about the fact that he is scared to have sex with me. I've slept over many times we even took a vacation together just us and still nothing. And its like he has no problem getting it up when were making out and playing with eachother but as soon as our cloths come off he shuts down. We've also tried starting off naked to and still nothing. I dont know what to do anymore I even went to blaming myself but I never had this problem before. When we took a break I even took a chance with my ex to see and there was no problem. Now I just think he has performance anxiety and I have no idea what else I can do. Can someone give me advice?
yeah we need solutions!
so what i read it was, that before sex you should just suck and lick, and advice to man, suck and lick your partner after you ***, feel relaxed. put that ***** in your mouth, finger it, make your partner scream, and u feel she is liking it, it will comfort you and brings courage. you should like it too when doing all this. so, when u ***, dont give up, keep going, licking, and when u feel its gettin second raund, before REMOVING your undewears clean your little man, and let girl play with it, enjoy first your good atmosphere before sex. so after, when its hard(you might finish when she is ** you, but she should keep it too to help you for the 3rd round hard).
and you should be ready to enjoy sex
i had my first sex at age of 23, (month ago), i always were with girls sucking and lickin i was afraid to have sex, i thought i will dissapoint my partner, and girls always wanted to have sex, and i just tried to say no, making soma fake reasons, and then my first sex, i was very angry and upset, and when i did what i read, its super cool
dont worry about size, my size is big, and i was unable to work, just give pleasure
so what i read it was, that before sex you should just suck and lick, and advice to man, suck and lick your partner after you ***, feel relaxed. put that ***** in your mouth, finger it, make your partner scream, and u feel she is liking it, it will comfort you and brings courage. you should like it too when doing all this. so, when u ***, dont give up, keep going, licking, and when u feel its gettin second raund, before REMOVING your undewears clean your little man, and let girl play with it, enjoy first your good atmosphere before sex. so after, when its hard(you might finish when she is ** you, but she should keep it too to help you for the 3rd round hard).
and you should be ready to enjoy sex
i had my first sex at age of 23, (month ago), i always were with girls sucking and lickin i was afraid to have sex, i thought i will dissapoint my partner, and girls always wanted to have sex, and i just tried to say no, making soma fake reasons, and then my first sex, i was very angry and upset, and when i did what i read, its super cool
dont worry about size, my size is big, and i was unable to work, just give pleasure
HI I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM I HAVE 1 KID 1 ON THE WAY I UNDERSTAND WHERE UR COMING FROM, ITS LIKE 1 EXTREME TO ANOTHER FOR ME WITH SOMEONE NEW AFTER SUFFERING ABUSE AND A MAN ON HEAT CONSTANTLY TO SOMEONE I REALLY LIKE/LOVE HAVING TROUBLE GETTING AN ERECTION.VERY CONFUSING TO MYSELF ETC
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