Can't Get Aroused

[kristi8464]

I need help! I've been with my boyfriend for almost five years. When we first met we had sex very often, sometimes twice a day. Now I can't even get excited about it. As a matter of fact, I think of sex as an awful chore. We only have sex once a week, if even that. I feel awful for my boyfriend since he wants it 24 hours a day. I love him and want to have children with him and am still very attracted to him. And when we do have sex, afterwards, I am the happiest woman on earth, so I can't understand why I can't get aroused the next day. If we try to have sex, my body tenses up because I am afraid that he will hurt me (not on purpose of course!) and we don't get "very far." I have gained weight and feel fat, but I have no problem walking around naked when I get ready for work, which he loves. But it has become a problem between us and he has even asked if I have sex with someone else or if I still love him. I feel so awful because he already has self esteem issues but I don't know what to do. As embarrassing as it was to ask my gynecologist, she really didn't have any advice for me. Something is wrong with me, because I'm only 23! Any advice?

[potts20]

Hopefully she can help you.  I totally know what you are going through.  I think when I go see my doc in a few days, I will ask her about it.  Good Luck.

[kristi8464]

Thanks! Yeah, it was embarrassing to ask her. I didn't go in to see her-I called so that maybe when I go to see her next she will have forgotten.

[potts20]

I dont really think there is anything wrong with you, as in emotionally.  You may have a hormonal problem, but I am not a doctor so I dont really know.  I have the same problem as you do.  I am 20, married, and I HATE sex sometimes.  I also feel as if it is a chore.  I want it one minute, and the next its like, why do I have to do this.  If your doctor wont help you, maybe try finding another one.  I have yet to ask for help because I really dont know what to say.  I miss sex, and honestly, I dont think I have even ever had an orgasm, maybe once or twice.  I am set on it being a hormonal thing though.  Good luck, and tell your boyfriend that it isnt anything to do with him.  My husband also wants sex 24 7, which is a sad thing because I cant please him.  It really gets to ya.  Hopefully this has helped.  
Megan