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Fear of Gynecological Exam

Over 20 years ago, when I was a teenager, my mother forced me to have an abortion.  It was my first visit to the gynecologist.  I haven't been to the gyn in over 10 years because just being there produces severe panic attacks, and sometimes self-injurious behavior.  Has anyone ever had this happen to them?  I know that nobody LIKES going, but now I am having abnormal bleeding between periods and pelvic pain and I just can't bring myself to go.  Tried therapy...didn't work.   So what now?
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Avatar universal
i hate too i hate men i hate my life
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But  trust in your husband's faithfulness?I do not trust any man
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Hi,me too.I have to do pap smear but i can t .The pain is horrible .suffered sexual abuse
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I want to speak to with other women who also have pain during examination
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hi,i have the same problem.i feel a lot of pain during the examination and I'm desperate
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Every time I go to my gynecologist, she hurts me during the examination.  My daughter told me it's not supposed to hurt.  I have gone through menopause and am very sensitive in that area.  I understand that as a woman gets older and has not had sex, she gets smaller and more sensitive.  I am thinking about finding another gynecologist.
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
There is nothing to fear from a traditional pelvic exam.  doctors are fast and it is over in a flash.  Do not fear, it will be okay. :>)
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Avatar universal
no youre not alone. many women are terrified of a pelvic exam. But have you heard of the delphi screener for pelvic exams. its small as a ball point pen. google it
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I am so glad I stumbled onto this website.  I was trying to reseach sedation gyn.  I'm 49 and in menapause and having some symptom I'd like to get checked out...dreaded hot flashes, breast pain, etc.  I haven't been to the gyn in 15 years because of my fear and anxiety!  It's real and I can't stop it.  I did make an appointment recently to go because I thought I'd try to talk myself into going through with the appt.  I cancelled it the next day.  The last two times I tried to have the pap test, I froze up and cried and fled without getting it done.  I can't tell you how many times I passed out in my younger years when I had to go to get my pills filled.  It seems like there would be some type of sedation which would allow me and all the others to have this done.  I know they have sedation dentistry now.  I really was made to feel silly and they tried to guilt me into having the pap test last time and I just can't put myself through this again.  I've tried to envision the whole appt. and talk myself into it, but it isn't working.  I really thought I was alone but am so glad to know I'm not and I'm not some freak.  It hurts and my anxiety is real and unavoidable.  
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Avatar universal
So is there a Ob/Gyn out there that will put you to sleep for a Pap smear?
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im 15 and im completely afraid to go to the gyno .....plese give me i need segestions ....
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I was forced by my mother to have a pelvic exam and pap smear when i was 14, she refused to go in with me nor did she explaine what was going to happen. I was shocked and sick when the male doctor forced my leg's apart! Then all the stuff afterward's?  I got pregnant at 16 and the doctor i was forced to go to did lengthy rectal exams EVRY time i had to go in... I'm shaking thinking about it. Now at 50 i CAN NOT be internaly examened. I had a hysterctomy at 38 with a cervix removal and my female doctor still try's to insist she just wants to look, for what?!? She comes up with all kinds of reasons... no go. I'm relieved that i'm not alone. Same with breast exam's, no. I just cant be fondled like that, it feel's like legal rape!
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Avatar universal
I was forced by my mother to have a pelvic exam and pap smear and breast exam when i was 14 by our family doctor, she refused to go in with me nor did she explaine what was going to happen. I was shocked and sick when the male doctor forced my leg's apart! Then all the stuff afterward's? Oh my God. I got pregnant at 16 and the doctor i was forced to go to did lengthy rectal exams EVRY time i had to go in... monthly. He also forced my husband to drop trowe and bend over, squat, push out, all with his finger in his anus and a hand on his shoulder. Horrible! I'm shaking thinking about it. The next one was a a clinic for birth control where the female doctor left me on the table with my feet in stirrups, leg's hanging open, to answer the phone that the nurse who walked in, no knock, handed her. Then she pinched and twisted both of my nipples, i was to motified to move. Now at 50 i CAN NOT be internaly examened. I had a hysterctomy at 38 with a cervix removal and my female doctor still try's to insist she just wants to look, for what?!? She comes up with all kinds of reasons... no go. I'm relieved that i'm not alone. Same with breast exam's, no. I just cant be fondled like that, it feel's like legal rape! Before i cant sleep for a week, after i cry for day's.  My life changed a little today being given all this information and seeing all of you brave women, i feel better, thank you. And I will never do anything that makes me uncompfortable again.
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Avatar universal
Omg! you guys have no idea how much better this makes me feel to know that there are so many other women that go through this.  I've been going to an ob/gyn since I first started my period when I was 12.  I had irregular bleeding and needed to be put on birth control to control it.  My first ob/gyn tried to do a pelvic exam everytime I went until he retired when I was 19 and I had to go to a new doctor.  He could never get one.  It was always too painful.  My second doctor was understanding and told me I didn't have to get a pap smear done until I was 21.  When I went in for my yearly visit after I turned 21 I tried to let her do one.  The pain was worse than I remembered and I screamed bloody murder and started crying.  I recently went back for anther yearly visit.  My first one since the last one and was so scared I was shaking and couldn't stop crying.  My doctor let it slide this time because she said the last thing she wants to do is tramautize me to the point where I don't come in ever again.  My mom asked the doctor if she would sedate me, but she said she would rather not to do that.  Little does she know it is probably the only way I will ever allow her to do an exam on me.

I have talked to my mom, my sister, and my friends about it and none of them have experienced anything like this.  Some of them had even told me that they thought I was overreacting.  I wish they could feel the pain for me somehow so they would understand. It feel so good to find people that actually understands my pain.
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Avatar universal
I hate reading these accounts because it's not only unnecessary, it's harmful. The routine pelvic exam is of poor clinical value and exposes you to risk, just the fact you were distressed by the experience is bad enough. Routine breast exam...no evidence they help, but they lead to biopsies. Pap tests are an option for sexually active women, but evidence shows they don't change the incidence or death rate in those under 30.  Pap testing a 21 year old virgin is medical misconduct in my opinion...risk for no benefit. Even a sexually active 21 year old should not be tested. Many countries only test sexually active women at 25 or 30.
The evidence has moved on and now it's clear the only women who should be offered pap testing are the 5% who are HPV positive at age 30...those negative can be offered infrequent HPV testing or they could test themselves using the Delphi Screener. (being used in The Netherlands, Singapore and elsewhere)
You put yourself through an ordeal for no benefit...far from protecting your health, these exams cause physical and emotional damage. I think it's cruel to mislead women in this way.
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Avatar universal
I recently had my first gyno visit. As a 21y/o virgin I was nervous about the appt in general. I went in & met my gyn and he was very nice and professional, and I was okay as far as anxiety at this point thinking maybe its not so bad. The breast exam was first and that didn't really bother me a bit. The he put my feet in the stirrups and I got a tincy bit more nervous. But when he touched me i completely freaked. :( I started to cry, the nurse just tried to calm me. Nothing hurt. Nothing at all. I mean, I have never been touched in that area by anyone, and it is terrifying for me to even think about it. I really doubt that I ever go back until I am with child. :( Completely mortifying!!!!!
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Avatar universal
Dutch women are already using the Delphi Screener, the self sample HPV device. HPV negative women don't need pap tests, biopsies or treatments - they are not at risk from this cancer. The Dutch have a 7 pap test program, 5 yearly from 30, but will shortly move to 5 hrHPV primary triage tests offered at ages 30,35,40,50 and 60 and ONLY those positive will be offered a 5 yearly pap test. Only 5% of women are HPV positive by age 40. Those negative can follow the HPV program or if monogamous or no longer sexually active can forget all testing and revisit the subject if their risk profile changes. This will greatly reduce pap testing, over-treatment, excess biopsies and is more likely to prevent these rare cancers. The pap test misses 50% of adenocarcinoma and at least 25% of squamous cell. Routine breast and pelvic exams are not evidence based, are of poor clinical value and are more likely to harm you. Our doctors don't recommend them in symptom-free women. Most women having pap tests and potentially damaging biopsies and treatments are not even at risk from this rare cancer - they're HPV negative. Pap testing has created a highly lucrative industry in over-treatment and so many will not welcome HPV primary triage testing or a self-test option like the Delphi Screener....women will have to fight for access especially in Australia and the States were serious over-screening and over-treatment occurs and there is no real scrutiny of the programs/testing.
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Avatar universal
I'm trying to find a Dr. That can use blood and imaging or sedation for exams....  I hv fear since an abortion ten years ago where I was thrown out in the middle for crying. I am trying to concrete at thirty five so I must do something. Any ideas. Houston Rx area.
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Avatar universal
I'm trying to find a Dr. That can use blood and imaging or sedation for exams....  I hv fear since an abortion ten years ago where I was thrown out in the middle for crying. I am trying to concrete at thirty five so I must do something. Any ideas. Houston Rx area.
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Avatar universal
Can't they run blood and imaging tests instead of hands on? IF anyone knows please respond. I have a fear of the pelvic exam too from abortion years ago but am now trying to conceive but can't handle a stranger poking and proving. I can stand needles or anything .Anyone have info on a Dr.? Houston area
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Avatar universal
I´m not sure wether Im releaved or more unhappy about reading your questions but one thing I do kno is that Im not the only one-thank god. Im squeamish and I act extremely "ridiculously" every time I go for any kind of these tests. One test I had back in England, well, the doctors made me do it myself because I was under so much panic and crying continously. The other day was my very first smear with an appointment in a Spanish health centre. Every thing was going through my head, the difference in language (which I guess isnt the main problem as Im rather fluent these days), moreover: the fact that its normal to have 3 people in the room, the other fact that because Ive missed my period (still praying that it comes soon) they were shouting in a rather unsympathetic way if I thought I was pregnant before my smear, they thought I as getting pissy with them because I as nervous and they didnt really understand why I was acting like a baby....the list goes on. But anyway, they managed to get me in the chair and I was breathing deeply with anxiety. I have to agree with some of the people in this forum that, because Im so low down in the chair without being in control I star to have the panic attacks. The women couldnt do it and I began crying uncontrollably, thinking I might die if I never go through with this thing. (My auntie died recently of cancer of the cervix because she didnt go for smears and all the Spanish docs could say to me was, well "all the better for you to let us look at you". They dont understand and they think its so easy for women like us (and for someone who lost someone so dearly to me) but what they didnt know untill I said to them is that I cry when I see a bit of blood on TV, thats how "bad" I am.....So one doctor gave me Valium (2little blue tablets) for my next visit. They told me to put 1 under my tongue half an hour before the exam so it would sedate me but Im worried about having another emotional performance like the other day with more hours of uncontrolable crying and finally not being able to go through with it...... Anyone know how effective Valium is? Its my only hope because having someone at the side of me is not going to work...I need to be in control. Thanks for your messages guys, I was crying reading some of them as I feel the pain too.
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1838128 tn?1318442163
I am an adult already had a child and yet still get anxious at just the thought of a GYN exam...I get extremely anxious , I cry and half the time getting the speculum in  is nearly impossible to the point of frustration for the provider....it is so embarrassing for me that I get like this ......part of the problem is I get embarrassed about my behavior I know its no big deal to have a GYN exam but I cant seem to control the sense of dread that over comes me when I go.....I really was thinking I am the only one with this problem ......in many ways its comforting to know I am not. I had a GYN exam today and almost didn't get to complete it everything in my body said run. I ask the doctor to let the medical assistant in the room just so she can hold my hand  and hold my leg because I involuntarily close them making it worse...the doctor going to have to give me one pill like valium before I can do this again next time .....its just to much for me....I am home now and anyone would think I went through some type of trauma ...I still feel so upset so anxious.........I am a nurse I seen a surgical procedure where they removed a gigantic tumor and the leg was completely gone.....been present when eye sitting top of a friend head after a horse kicked it out.....was present and assisted a neighbor who was shot and screaming for help I went to him not thinking if the gun man was still....he had bullet hole in his head through his eye and 4 more shots in the abdomen but I did leave his side while all the other women where screaming.....  so I am not a squeamish nervous scary cat person....I seen stab wounds...I had an infected thyroglossal tumor in my neck and the doctor came to me with a gigantic horse needle .....I am not exaggerating..... and I let him stick it in my neck with out anesthesia so he can drain the infection...I didnt move or cry..........yet this very common exam that most women can do with ease and simplicity I perceive and experience as a traumatic nerve wrenching event....I have no problem with sex ......my partner and I have great sex with out any drama from me.......yet I can not  do a GYN exam without crying.......I know something happened to make me like this but can't and won't discuss it.....I can say that the doctor makes all the difference...I have had only two female doctors who where so great that If I knew where they where I would fly there just so they can do my exam.....my first great experience was with a provider in missouri her husband and her had a practice together and she saw how nervous I was and without me saying anything she began helping me to relax by talking about my son....then she relaxed my legs muscle in the inner thigh....... she first did an exam without the speculum and even that she did with great care relaxing the muscle there first...then when I least expected it she placed the speculum ever so gently and kept talking to me and never judged me and before I knew it it was over......I was even afraid to tell her what was hurting me but she was so good at what she does she told me where it hurt and she says I can tell it hurts and its ok for you to tell me she said your not imagining the pain you have a tumor there .......my previous GYN had told my husband for years that I imagined the pain and it wasn't real......even now thinking about this great doctor... I want to hug her ...I pray she is well where ever she is and wish with all my heart she could still be my GYN but I no longer live in missouri......any way hope that all the ladies out there who have this problem know your not alone and I pray you find the right provider who will help you get through this exam with out judgement or criticism...........PS for give all my typos and bad grammer writing in a hurry
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Avatar universal
I had HUGE anxiety regarding these visits and kind of wonder if I'll be rescheduling my next appointment for a later date! If I'm having too stressful a month, I might just postpone, though not too long a delay! If things are going well in the weeks before my visit, then I'll be in a better mood & more relaxed, easier on everyone!

I ignored some red flags, especially pain on my right side, so finally was referred to a gyn.  She was a little impatient, raising her voice at me at times, but it didn't stop her from saving my life in a 5 hour surgery two days later!

Turned out I had a 20 pound ovarian mass--Ovarian Cancer Stage A.  (And I thought it was just winter weight gain! Others thought I had a hearty appetite.  I looked like I was pregnant but tryed to hide it with one size fits all clothing. I wondered what the heck was wrong with me ... still I dragged my feet overly long in getting myself checked out.)

Now I have to be checked more closely.

One suggestion I have is that gratitude, (even prayerful gratitude), for the skills of the gyn/surgeon can help to lessen some of the fear. Even a little less fear probably helped me through the exam, though I was a big baby and still had to hold the hand of one of the office staff! This is true with a lot of other difficult visits such as the dentist ... Gratitude knocks out fear a lot of times, (though not always)!  I felt a lot of pain in the visit, so half cried and nearly screamed a couple of times. But the visit is very, very short.  

I think some kind of sedative is a good idea for those patients like myself who are very fearful ...

There sure are a lot of us who feel just the same way!

I just have to tell myself that it's not a torture session, and that my own fear could have killed me! The doctor certainly wouldn't!  This doctor I feared the most--a gynecologist--actually saved my lifed with her great knowledge and skill when it came to having surgery.
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Avatar universal
I went to the gyno ONE time. They made me feel like crap. I have severe anxiety and when the nurse realized I have had sex before she made me sound like I was a *****. During the breast exam I got nervous and covered my breast when she was finished checking and she said with an attitude "let me do my job". I was so embarrassed. A couple of years ago I went to get tested for STD's (all negative) I was an emotional wreck. The dr told me I had a deep vagina!! WTF?! Anyway, I haven't been to a gyno in about 5 years and I really have no clue when I will go again. I have PCOS and should go, but I am terrified to be embarrassed again and made to feel stupid.
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