How to fix ruined relationship with my mom?

[PaigeBravo]

I am 14. My parents split when i was 3. My mother is currently divorcing my soon-to-be-not my stepdad while in a 6 month relationship with her 5th boyfriend. I met him in late September, during the first two weeks of knowing him i realized he had a key to the house... i had no underwear on when finding this out. Also i'm angry he knows our computer password that I DON'T know. My mom told me they were dating late April, before she said they were 'just friends'... who loved to make out in front of me. Also late April i heard them'doing it', the third time i heard. I still hear the noices in my head haunting me. I only see my mom on weekends but about 12 hours maximum because they go out almost every weekend, if they aren't, he comes over. I don't speak to my mom anymore, she does the same. I really want to mend our relationship again because my heart is shattering. Any help is appreciated.

[specialmom]

Sweetie, I"m so very sorry.  I think if you told her that your heart was shattering not having your mother in your life, she may soften and work on things.  Have you been able to have this kind of conversation with her?

We are all human, including your mom.  I'm a mom  I make lots of mistakes.  Yours seems to be really caught up in herself.  

You are 14 and are of an age to vocalize more things.  You also probably can have some say in your custody arrangement.  You could request a day outing or special time with her only rather than weekend overnights or whatever.  Giving reasons of sex noises and a guy around when you aren't dressed would be a good reason for this.  :>)  I don't want to stir up more trouble but if you could put her in the category of someone you still know without being in the mother figure role (which she isn't doing . . .   if you only see your kid every so often for a few hours, you want to focus on your kid, not your boyfriend you see all the time.  That's just me.  So, see if you can change things so you can still be around her some but not stay with her at her place.  

[PaigeBravo]

Hi! thank you for the advice. I stay with my biological father Sunday night-Saturday morning/Friday night. So i have approximately 1 1/2 days to spend with my mom. I was really close with my soon-to-not-be my stepdad for i have known him  since i was 5 so meeting this new boyfriend was kinda rough for me (they were married for 8years).


My grandmother is really nice but as i said to Annie Brooke, living with her might not be the best idea because she and my mother don't connect after (lets call the bf Chad) were together. So it might make things worst between my and my mom.

I have talked to her about the noices but I'm not sure if she will continue because for the past couple of weekeends i begged her for me to stay with my grandmother when i started to hear the noices in my head haunting me.
I took her out on Mother'sDay and mentioned we should go out together more but that didn't click because 'Chad' tagged along with us.
So really nothing is working out.

[sharin]

U really need to talk about the noises in ur head. U barley mention them. If u t hearing noises in ur head, talk about THAT!   Is it words ur hearing or a buzzing noise, messages what?!  Get those noises in ur head addressed right away. If ur mother is ignoring u, talk to ur grandmother.  Don’t worry about the relationship with ur mom right now. Take care of YOU first. Once I get it together, or get treatment THEN u can start worring about ur mom. U will be better able to deal with things once u address what’s going on with u. I’m sorry ur family broke up. I know how hard that can be to go through. Sounds like a councilor could be really helpful. Someone to listen to u and not judge u. It’s not a bad thing to talk to someone about how u feel.
It may decided some medications could help u. Sometimes we get depressed or anxious when our families go through these kind of changes.  
Take care of urself first.

[PaigeBravo]

The noices in my head is just a replay of when i heard my mom and 'Chad' 'doing it'.
I guess i'm replaying it because i'm always thinking a man i bearly know is possibly getting my mom pregnant, which is another thing i fear: siblings.

I am an only child, in my class everyone but me has siblings and because some of their siblings go to school there too, i can kinda experience what it would be like if i did have one.
But i hate having siblings so if my mom gets pregnant... our relationship will officially end.

IDK if this helps but lately i'm having dreams about a tsunami for a couple of days now.

[AnnieBrooke]

Frankly, it doesn't seem like she is trying at all to fix the relationship with you. Do you have a more stable female relation you can live with?

[PaigeBravo]

The only person is my grandmother but if i live there it might probably make things worse.