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Avatar universal

I seriously need reassurance, my labia minora is NOT NORMAL

I think my vagina is very very ugly. the labia minora is a darkened color and it is almost 2 times longer that the outer lips. My boyfriend is a lot more experienced than i am. I've only been with one other guy before him. He says that i am "different", but won't admit whether it turns him off or not. But our sex is still great. i've seen pictures and videos of other people's vaginas and it only makes me feel uglier.
Please tell me that there are others out there with the same "problem". i wish i had a pretty little pink one like the girls in porn clips; but i do not want surgery. We love eachother very much and i don't want this "isseue" to ruin our sexlife due to my lack of self esteem. Big sisters..please help!
139 Responses
Avatar universal
everybodys are certainly different there is no normal looking vagina those ones you see on the movies are porno stars they have everything perfect other wise they wouldent be in the job beleive me more people then not have this problem not that its a problem your not the only one that thinks that though.
Avatar universal
ya know what? and this is my opinion! show me a vagina that IS pretty! vaginas are not the most attractive part of our bodies. i often wonder why men think they are so attractive. what you describe sounds like a typical vagina to me! i am not sure why you think yours is so unusual? i don't know your age but it does seem as if the area darkens as we get older. i always think it looks like a hunk of medium to rare roast beef!

men are very visual. if you feel confident and sexy with yourself and eager to show him, he will think its sexy no matter what it looks like. your're fine.
79258 tn?1190634010
No, no, it IS normal. There's enormous variation in color, size, shape and texture of labia... I believe it was Betty Dodson who said labia are like snowflakes - all are different, and all are beautiful. Some are very thick, some are very thin, some are practically non-existant, some are long, some are black or gray, some are pale pink... it's all over the map. I am quite sure that however yours look, they ARE beautiful. You might check out the book Femalia, by Joani Blank, for some great photos of labia. And check out Betty Dodson's site - not only does she have lots of vulva illustrations, but she is SO sex-positive and accepting, it would help you feel better about yourself. Also, there are tons of websites with photos of women with large labia. Many, many, MANY guys (and women) find it an enormous turnon ;-)
Avatar universal
Mine changed as I got older, darker and after a baby, have similar length that you are describing - so PLEASE don't feel strange or alone. I can't remember when, but when I noticed the changes from a smaller and less colored labia minora to what it is now I felt it was not attractive either, and wondered what was up. It was like it got stretched out... which is probably partly true I guess - 9 lb baby was no piece of cake to push out!

Enjoy yourself and your body... Todo
120255 tn?1197070547
There is a book called "Femaila" that I encourage you to check out.  It's a collection of pictures of vaginas, nothing else.  It's artistic, not pornographic and the point of it is to show how different they all are and that there is no normal.  
Avatar universal
Have to tell ya -- I even took out a mirror and did a check (haven't looked down there in awhile)after reading your post and medium-rare slice of roast beef category for me it is as well! My thought is you may be more in the norm/avg category as far as size, color and shape than you realize, but I'm no expert here!
Avatar universal
i would like to thank all of you for taking the time to leave me a message. i am feeling a lot better and most important- i feel a lot more pretty and for once "normal".

Thank you guys!!! :-)
Avatar universal
I'm going through the same problem also except maybe worse .I'm very insecure about my vagina and think that it looks too "loose" and "darkened" on some spots. The most embarrassing thing is that im too young for this problem (just turned twenty years old) Between the ages of ten and twelve years old, it was incredibly itchy "down there”. Because I was a child, I would just constantly relieve it until eventually my right labia kind of "popped out" and became so incredibly loose that it no longer itched. The itchy problem was solved but once I turned thirteen years old, I had realized what I had done. As the years went by it got a little worse through just wiping myself and masturbating (I’m only human). Just recently I lost my virginity, but my boyfriend was really annoyed with the "don't look and don't touch with your hands or tongue policy." I was annoyed with myself to and still am. And ever since I lost my virginity the problem got a hundred times worse over night. Not only does my vagina look terrible, but it is also starting to feel uncomfortable and hurt a little bit. At least before I could ignore it most of the time but now that I can feel my biggest insecurity, I am constantly reminded of it. I’m too embarrassed to tell my mother, and I’m going to be humiliated when I go to my first gyno check up this month. Even if I did speak up about it, there is nothing that can be done. I can't afford the expensive surgeries and I know that my mother's insurance won't pay for it. I regret so much of not speaking up as child when my vagina was obviously irritated. So now I have this life long problem that is ruining my sex life and relationships with men. Do I know what you're going through? Are there others like you out there? Yes and I'm one of them.
Avatar universal
girls- you need to google around the internet here's a site for example that shows some pictures www.sexylabia.com its a little pornographic- but you'll see that you're normal...
Avatar universal
I'm 22 and when I was younger I felt the same way only because the only other vaginas I saw were my little middleschool boyfriends playboys they would bring to school( kids...) I was terrified of becoming sexually active because I swear I thought mine had to be disfigured and not "normal" when I finally did have sex with my boyfriend I did the same and didn't let him really look or touch down there which now that I look back on it killed the experience haha... but eventually in my search to be normal I looked up pictures of vaginas and they mostly all looked something like me and when I researched surgery for it honestly I think the surgery makes u look waaay more abnormal...the best thing is to be confident and know u are normal because there is no specific way to look and if ur boyfriend is so mature and experienced himself he would also know this...by the way they're  hardly ever light pretty pink like u see in movies....just relax it'll get better it did for me
Avatar universal
i read masturbation and sex can't make it worse?
This is not true. There are virgins (who haven't masturbated) with large labia. Labia size and amount of sex and masturbation is not related.
Avatar universal
Masturbation, itching, sex...nothing can literally change the outer appearance of anyone's vulva, unless someone were to hang weights on them for long extended periods of time.  I don't know of anyone who does that...

I have longer labia minora too, and I will be the first to admit I had the same insecurites everyone else has had.  They were too long, to dark, too whatever...and guess what?  It was all in my head!  You all have got to understand that labia and vulvas are a lot like noses.  Not one of them is the same, but they all have the same parts.  Every female on the planet has the same parts, the exact way those parts are shaped vary TREMEDOUSLY from woman to woman.  

I don't usually recommend anyone to look at porn, but search the word "labia" in google!! DIREGARD THE LABIA SURGERY SITES. All they want is your money to "fix" your perfectly gorgeous labia.  

If someone doesn't like your labia, they don't deserve a beautiful, exotic woman in the first place!  And I can tell them that for you!  

PS.  I am getting married this next May, and my fiance and I have already discussed my pouty lips.  He can't wait to have them all to himself every day and night!  

=] Keep your chin up! You ARE NORMAL.
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