I'm so embarrassed about my incontinence

[Hannah2280]

My name is Hannah, and Im a 25 year old middle school science teacher. I first began experiencing bladder leakage several years ago, and it gradually got worse. I started out with pads, but realized they would be quickly soaked. With much hesitation, I then tried pull up incontinence underwear. They were fairly discreet, but would leak in no time. I ended up having to change the pull ups constantly, I was leaking so badly. All my free time at work was spent in the bathroom, trying to cope with the problem. Eventually, I found myself at the local pharmacy, buying thick, plastic, tab style adult diapers. I was mortified. When I got home that evening, I opened up the bag to find thick, crinkly diapers, would I would envision people in the hospital wearing, not a young, active wife and teacher. My husband had to help me put them on, and merely snickered. I could not get over the bulk that was between my legs and extended up my backside. Since then, I have not experienced near as many leaks or changes as I did with the pull ups, but have encountered a whole new set of embarrassing issues. In skinny jeans, dresses, slacks, most anything- the diaper bulge is there, and obvious. I can physically hear the plastic backing, whenever I sit down and walk. Whenever I am teaching my class, I am always conscious of the thickness present under my clothing, and how obvious it is. My husband tells me not to worry, but I cant help it. And if I bend down to pick something up, there is a good chance the plastic top of the diaper may peak above my pants. Students and fellow teachers alike have given me all kinds of looks. The only peace I have from my nerves is sitting behind my desk, but even then, I still feel the diaper. Im not sure what Im going to do. A young, professional, attractive woman wearing adult diapers...its as awful as it sounds. Im just so unsure where and how to proceed.

[specialmom]

Oh gosh.  I'm really sorry to hear this.  Now, a lot of women will leak after having a child when they sneeze, laugh, jump, etc. or trickle a tiny bit here and there but you are having a significant problem.    You clearly most definitely and I can't encourage you enough need to see a doctor to determine why you are having this issue.  Pelvic floor muscles can be strengthened and for may women, this is the issue for why they are incontinent.  There are types of incontinence and different causes.  You must see a doctor to determine what is going on.  Diabetes, neurological issues, a tumor, etc.  Lots of things can cause this type of incontinence you write of and it's a symptom of something else.  There are many treatment approaches--  from working with a physical therapist or yoga instructor that specializes in pelvic floor exercise, to kegals on your own, to medication, to surgery, to things like poise, etc.  But you need to see a doctor and work on this.  I am sure this can get much better for you and that would be very welcome to your life.  Let me know how it goes, okay?

[Hannah2280]

Thank you so much! I have gone to a couple of doctors, and no one seems to be able to pin point the issue yet. I just feel so unsure and insecure about the whole thing. 25 years old, and busy as a bee, but cant control her bladder and wearing the thickest of adult diapers, which are all that seem to absorb the flow. I just want to be able to go out and about wearing panties again, and not have to think about changing and people noticing my issue. Even sitting here typing, Im leaking like a sieve!

[specialmom]

Ah, sweetie.  I'm sure!  This is invading your life!!!  So, doctors have not detected why it happens so far.  What kinds of tests have they run?  In the mean time, can you get a referral to a physical therapist that specializes in pelvic floor muscles?  I'd ask for this and begin working on that to see if it helps.  

[Hannah2280]

They have done urodynamic testing, cystoscopy, and even a pelvic ultra sound, and still nothing is evident. I am to start seeing a physical therapist this summer, but until then, my practitioner seems to think that little can be done, other than "wearing diapers and hoping for the best" as he puts it. Im am so sick of waking up every morning to a wet diaper, and the humiliation of buying large packs of these things at the pharmacy, often in front of people I know. I just don't feel confident or particularly sexy anymore, having to wear diapers 24/7.

[Hannah2280]

My husband has been very supportive through this whole process, but I still can't imagine it's much of a turn on to help your 25 year old wife with her adult diapers!

[AnnieBrooke]

I realize these are older posts, but if you haven't discovered it yet, there are pads to put inside adult diapers that blot up more than twice as much fluid. Also, try different brands of diapers, they don't have to crackle. (I got some really good ones when I was just out of the hospital after my C-section. They were so smooth under clothes, despite having a smocked looking top that you would think would immediately show.)

Also, try hitting this scientifically. Research (and then test) exactly how long it takes for a glass of water, for example, to pass from your mouth, through your digestive system, and out your bladder to the pad. And by research, I mean really do it. Don't drink or eat anything for 8 hours, then drink a glass of liquid, then time it, see how long it takes to make the trip. In other words, gather primary data. And once you have some numbers you can count on, time your meals and your fluid intake, so when the floods might be expected, you are not in school. This won't solve your problem (for that, ask for a referral to a specialist, a gynecologic urologist. Quit messing around with the stupid doctor who just shrugs it off) but knowing exactly what time of day to eat and especially drink, so you don't end up in floods, will be helpful in the interim.