I have an idea, find another doc! check out vulvodynia.com. The FAQ section has a lot of info. She probably mentioned lidocaine ointment, which as far as I know you need a perscription for. Lidocaine is a 'bandaid' treatment. It will only relieve the pain temporarily, not stop it. You need a doc who treats pelvic pain.
I wouldn't keep having sex if it causes you pain. This will only make you tense up the pelvic floor muscles even more which will contribute to the pain cycle. Seek out a doc who deals with pelvic pain. You should also ask for a referral to a physical therapist that deals with pelvic floor muscle dysfunction.
Have you had an ultra sound done on your uterus you might have a fibor tumer(spell check) my cousin had one and she said when she had hers that is was painful during intercourse I think you should really get laa of your female organs check to double check.For the Lanacaine if you can't find it at any drug store then maybe ask your doctor if she can write you a prescription for it.Best of luck to you hope you feel better soon!