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Parents and their strange love for the dog
I was trying to find the correct place to post this question.
I have a huge concern, and that is my parents and my parent’s house. I am 8 months pregnant and am apprehensive about bringing my baby over to their house for two reasons. It's really messy and the floors are disgusting. The floors are disgusting and the house is messy because of the amount of animals they have. It's a tiny house and they have 4 cats and 2 dogs.
Now what really is bothering me is that a couple months ago, one of their dogs died, and shortly after they replaced it with another dog. They had a lab, the dog that died, and they still have the dashound. They decided to buy a bull mastoff! Actually it was on a whim, and they had no problem spending a thousand bucks on this dog (that unfortunately is from a puppy mill)
They already know that the dog is going to be big. They are bringing it to obedience class, however when the dog saw me for the first time, it growled and barked. (usually it doesn't do this I guess)
I will NOT have this baby around a dog like that...no questions.
I'm wondering how this is all going to play out, I've already told my mom how I feel, and she just can't figure out why I'd feel that way.
(although when I was a child, she had a dog that bit me in the face, and she didn’t' do anything about it, I still have a scar beside my eye!)
so I know that if I were to leave my baby with them, and the dog were to bite my kid, they probably wouldn't think much of it.
Has anyone else gone through a situation like this? I just can't figure why they would put the dog before their own grandchild?
thanks all!
I have a huge concern, and that is my parents and my parent’s house. I am 8 months pregnant and am apprehensive about bringing my baby over to their house for two reasons. It's really messy and the floors are disgusting. The floors are disgusting and the house is messy because of the amount of animals they have. It's a tiny house and they have 4 cats and 2 dogs.
Now what really is bothering me is that a couple months ago, one of their dogs died, and shortly after they replaced it with another dog. They had a lab, the dog that died, and they still have the dashound. They decided to buy a bull mastoff! Actually it was on a whim, and they had no problem spending a thousand bucks on this dog (that unfortunately is from a puppy mill)
They already know that the dog is going to be big. They are bringing it to obedience class, however when the dog saw me for the first time, it growled and barked. (usually it doesn't do this I guess)
I will NOT have this baby around a dog like that...no questions.
I'm wondering how this is all going to play out, I've already told my mom how I feel, and she just can't figure out why I'd feel that way.
(although when I was a child, she had a dog that bit me in the face, and she didn’t' do anything about it, I still have a scar beside my eye!)
so I know that if I were to leave my baby with them, and the dog were to bite my kid, they probably wouldn't think much of it.
Has anyone else gone through a situation like this? I just can't figure why they would put the dog before their own grandchild?
thanks all!
Sorry, I must have not put it in my post, but I’m actually (not) living with my parents, which solves a lot of the issues. But when we visit them, with the new baby, that’s when this trouble is going to start.
My parents are EXTREMELY sensitive.
I have talked to mom already (walking on eggshells with her) and said I really don't feel comfortable with a big dog like that around a baby. She also agreed, and said she wouldn't feel safe having the baby in a play pen with the dogs jumping around, so she thinks a crib is better.
(and the crib is a whole other story)
The thing is, she didn't want the dog (although now she loves it) my stepfather is the one who bought the dog behind her back. (and the other dog that died was his.) My stepfather has a hell of a lot of issues and past grief that he is dealing with and I do believe that he sees these dogs as a replacement for a child he lost.
But it bothers me that their grandchild wasn't even considered during this whole process of buying the dog, and talking about it, and then deciding to keep the dog.
__________________________________________________________
It's funny Limonada, because my mom signs the cards from the cats/dogs/fish/rabbits/budgies too....but wow, referring to the dog as your sister!!
Yes Lexi, I'll have to make it graphic and clear, what could potentially happen with a big dog like that, and what mom would do, and how she would feel if the dog were to hurt the baby (even unintentionally)
Being a new mom, has really opened up a lot of past memories for me, and looking at how I was raised, and how mom handled certain situations. No one is perfect, and she did a hell of a job, but there are other events that happened that I can’t understand why she wouldn’t have reacted differently. Like for instance, when her dog bit me, and she did nothing about it. She didn’t take me to the hospital, and she bandaged up my eye herself. She didn’t even get rid of the dog. I guess I had been left alone in the room with the dog and was trying to sit on the dog, and it hauled off and bit me (I was only a year maybe)
It’s maternal instinct that I would have tried to protect my baby, and the dog would be gone. It makes me worry…did mom love me, or at least REALLY love me, to protect and put me first above everything else. Cause that’s how I feel about my unborn baby!
How do you guys feel about your situations?
My parents are EXTREMELY sensitive.
I have talked to mom already (walking on eggshells with her) and said I really don't feel comfortable with a big dog like that around a baby. She also agreed, and said she wouldn't feel safe having the baby in a play pen with the dogs jumping around, so she thinks a crib is better.
(and the crib is a whole other story)
The thing is, she didn't want the dog (although now she loves it) my stepfather is the one who bought the dog behind her back. (and the other dog that died was his.) My stepfather has a hell of a lot of issues and past grief that he is dealing with and I do believe that he sees these dogs as a replacement for a child he lost.
But it bothers me that their grandchild wasn't even considered during this whole process of buying the dog, and talking about it, and then deciding to keep the dog.
__________________________________________________________
It's funny Limonada, because my mom signs the cards from the cats/dogs/fish/rabbits/budgies too....but wow, referring to the dog as your sister!!
Yes Lexi, I'll have to make it graphic and clear, what could potentially happen with a big dog like that, and what mom would do, and how she would feel if the dog were to hurt the baby (even unintentionally)
Being a new mom, has really opened up a lot of past memories for me, and looking at how I was raised, and how mom handled certain situations. No one is perfect, and she did a hell of a job, but there are other events that happened that I can’t understand why she wouldn’t have reacted differently. Like for instance, when her dog bit me, and she did nothing about it. She didn’t take me to the hospital, and she bandaged up my eye herself. She didn’t even get rid of the dog. I guess I had been left alone in the room with the dog and was trying to sit on the dog, and it hauled off and bit me (I was only a year maybe)
It’s maternal instinct that I would have tried to protect my baby, and the dog would be gone. It makes me worry…did mom love me, or at least REALLY love me, to protect and put me first above everything else. Cause that’s how I feel about my unborn baby!
How do you guys feel about your situations?
oh....sorry - I just reread your post....you're actually LIVING with them! I agree with the other poster above - you need to move out, if you can swing that. Raising a baby in that kind of environment is not ideal, to say the least!
My dad and his wife (yes, she's technically my stepmom, but my mom died when I was already an adult and my dad remarried fast - I don't think too highly of this woman for a few reasons, which is a whole other story) recently got a yellow lab. I have a 3.5 year old son and a nearly 5 month old son. While this is a "family friendly" sort of dog as opposed to a bull mastiff, I'm still wary. They consider this dog their "baby" - and, incidentally, pay more attention to her then the grandkids.
Like your parents, my dad and his wife have a really dirty house.....cluttered and carpets are stained and have visible paths in them from where they've been walking with their shoes. It was like this even before they had the dog, but it's gotten worse what with the odd accident that the dog is having around the house.
My husband is allergic to dogs, so that's our out in terms of any expectations on their part that we'll be spending any great amount of time there. And as for leaving the kids there alone, we haven't done it and probably won't for quite a long while (they live out of town, and I'd want them to be older before we drop them off there for a weekend....not to mention I'd need be sure that the dog was fully trained, etc.).
If you're uncomfortable - which is totally understandable as far as I'm concerned - then you might have to insist that your parents babysit over at your place. I'm not a dog person myself (we have a cat who is our PET, not like a fifth member of our family) and so I don't really get it, but some (not all) people who have dogs really do consider them to be family members. My dad went so far as to call the dog my "sister" (yes.....really!) and they've started signing cards from the dog, too.
Like your parents, my dad and his wife have a really dirty house.....cluttered and carpets are stained and have visible paths in them from where they've been walking with their shoes. It was like this even before they had the dog, but it's gotten worse what with the odd accident that the dog is having around the house.
My husband is allergic to dogs, so that's our out in terms of any expectations on their part that we'll be spending any great amount of time there. And as for leaving the kids there alone, we haven't done it and probably won't for quite a long while (they live out of town, and I'd want them to be older before we drop them off there for a weekend....not to mention I'd need be sure that the dog was fully trained, etc.).
If you're uncomfortable - which is totally understandable as far as I'm concerned - then you might have to insist that your parents babysit over at your place. I'm not a dog person myself (we have a cat who is our PET, not like a fifth member of our family) and so I don't really get it, but some (not all) people who have dogs really do consider them to be family members. My dad went so far as to call the dog my "sister" (yes.....really!) and they've started signing cards from the dog, too.
I really think you need to move out if at all possible. Do you have anywhere you can go ? Your parents should be more concerned with your health and their future grandchild. Some people tend to go a little overboard with their animals and it sounds like your parents are doing just that. You and your baby deserve better. Maybe you need to sit your Mom down and speak to her about this again and explain how you are feeling put it to her like you are worried about your unborn child now , and that when the baby is born what if this dog were to attack the baby, then what ? If you have another option I would consider it seriously.
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