Please help-NO SEX DRIVE

[jen76]

I am only 29 years old and i have no sex drive.  Any suggestions?  I have been married for 10 years and in the beginning I had a great sex drive.  I have had two kids ages 10 and 6.  I used to do a lot of drugs and maybe that had something to do with it.  I feel bad for my husband so I make it a point to give it up every so often, but I don't care either way if I have sex or not.  In fact, at the end of the night I would much rather just go to bed.  What is wrong with me????  Any suggestions?

[kris1589]

I can relate, but my problem has been sporadic and now that I am 50, I have no desires.  I would love to hear some responses on what to do.  My husband feels guilty too, he thinks it is him.  I don't feel it is him.  I think it is all me.  I feel everything has to just perfect to even consider it.  Which of course, how often does that happen?  
by kris1589

[dania]

I was married for 13 years, had a healthy sexual relationship with my husband we mutually desired one another sexually.  For other reasons we divorced.  Ive now been in a 3 year relationship and my boyfriend has a very low sex drive, it was not ovious in the begining but now its almost draining asking for it.  Im 34, healthy, I have no body image problems and a good sex drive.  From this end I can only tell you that if your husband feels anything like I feel I urge you to TALK communicate how much you love him and constantly show some sort of carress towards him, otherwise he will feel like I do at times: undisired, not loved, unatractive "to him", and these things can kill any relationship

[Tammy1969]

I don't think that this is an inappriote place to post that question. After all this is a women's forum and if those people who said that this is not the place to post such a question obviously never had this problem and don't understand it. I am 36 years old and have a two year old child. I never had a problem with my sex drive until I had my one and only child. Now I have no desire to have sex either. I have several friends that have had the same problem. Our bodies go through so many changes when we are pregnant that we are not the same as we were before. Our body images are not the same. I never gained much weight with my pregnancy but I am alot smaller then I was before (size 8) and still have no desire. I guess with the stress of raising a child it also puts a tole on us. It is really hard as I hate not being able to "satisfy" my husband.
If anyone ever comes up with a solution to this problem then let me know.  They have viagra for men and I have heard that it can work for women as well but unless you have health insurance then this medication is very expensive and then you have to find an MD who is willing to listen. You don't see female sexual dysfunction advertised as much as you do male sexual dysfunction.

Good luck to all women that are going through this.

[jen76]

You guys are awesome.  I thought I was the only woman in my twenties suffering from this.  I have put on a few pounds and that does effect my desire to have sex.  I know my husband loves me regardless but still it does effect me.  I will try the vegtable thing.  Is it like an herb?  Where do you buy it?

[kj_alexia]

I agree.....my husband feels that it is his fault too...If anyone gets this answer please let me know....

[Bekki]

You have two children. That can totally ZAP a woman's sex drive. All the resposibilities you must have! A woman's sex drive is so much different than a man's. Women "peak" at around 37 - 43 years of age. Did you know that? A man's peak is anywhere from 19 - 25, then usually tapers off some. I stress, SOME. Men do have a stronger sex drive, so don't be hard on yourself. My advice, talk to your husband, or try something NEW in the bedroom. Try to make a date with your husband, and have a romantic evening. See what happens.
Also, are you happy with your body image? That can also zap your sex drive. Good luck to you!

[Bekki]

You have two children. That can totally ZAP a woman's sex drive. All the resposibilities you must have! A woman's sex drive is so much different than a man's. Women "peak" at around 37 - 43 years of age. Did you know that? A man's peak is anywhere from 19 - 25, then usually tapers off some. I stress, SOME. Men do have a stronger sex drive, so don't be hard on yourself. My advice, talk to your husband, or try something NEW in the bedroom. Try to make a date with your husband, and have a romantic evening. See what happens.
Also, are you happy with your body image? That can also zap your sex drive. Good luck to you!

[Aruba417]

I think this is a VERY appropriate question AND and IMPORTANT one, because I, too suffer from a lack of a sex drive. It is also the ONLY, but major thing that seems to hurt my marriage. I feel bad because I never EVER want sex any more. And that is soooooo hard on my husband because he seems to think it's his fault. Good luck, and if you find a "cure" please let me know! It really sucks. And I'm only 25!

[rusalka]

Hi you may have a hormonal imbalance.  You could try Peruvian Maca it is natural and you may see a difference in a few days even.  It is a vegetable so there are no side effects. Your question is appropriate it is a womens forum. Take care.

[monkeyflower]

Again, I don't understand how this could possibly be inappropriate, but since it evidently may be deleted I'll suggest trying another board: the Sex Matters board on WebMD. It's staffed by a sex therapist and has very knowledgeable regulars. This is a VERY common issue there :-)

[Jenni6485]

Couldnt tell you what's wrong with you... But this is very similar to the post above, and isn't very appropriate for this forum.
You can try any number of things to increase your libido. Experiment.