Preganancy after abortion

[goshig]

i got abortion on 19Jul 2005 now i want to be pregnant. is this time is best for preganancy or wait Please advise me which period best after abortion.

[ccw0069]

This is always such a touchy situation! Here's my back story when I was 18(fresh outta HS) I was dating the wrong guy. I liked enough to loose my virginity to him he was younger still in HS, I was leaving for college soon and he didnt want that. He took it upon himself with out my knowledge to attempt to get me pregnant by putting a hole in the condom. I am well aware that anytime you have sex you risk getting pregnant. He then ran away from home and I didnt hear from him for days. He comes back and goes straight to juvie. After all that my mind was made up. It was the hardest decision of my life, I really sat on it, it wasnt a rash decision. I did decide to abort that child. I was distraught and cried and cried. Thank God my mother was there and supported me, my dad didnt want me to keep it so he was ok, in fact he then decided it was ok to start speaking to me again(by the way he was adopted so im sure he knows well enough the situations on adoption) It was the hardest thing I have been through in  my life and the scariest and yes it still hurts at times. No it doesnt haunt me I am not tormented by it. Its a difficult situation that has taught me tons. I know that I will never have another one dont want to go through that again. But I dont regret my decision at all it was what I thought was best for me at the time. I am now 24 engaged and have a wonderful four year old and just found out today that I am pregnant again. Its shameful to hear people who have such harsh words to say. I understand the point of being pro life. I get it, but to wish ill on someone is plain disgusting and you have far more issues that need to be addressed. You think its ok to say that to someone and tell them God will be upset...will God not be unhappy with you for saying such? God is such an awesome and forgiving God; for someone to say such things means you dont know what you speak of!! If God couldnt forgive someones difficult choice then where does that put you. For a sin is a sin no matter what. There are no levels of sins, none is better than the other. God is love and I dont believe God would punish someone by not giving them the ability to bear children, is our God such a cruel God? Abortion is not a rash decision type thing, its not something you will ever forget, it is not a form of birth control. Its a personal decision that you have to know you will be ok with as it IS permanent do you have to be sure. There is no getting that baby back, but its your choice and no one should make you feel bad about it. Yes express your opinions but to make such disgusting remarks is inhumane and makes me wonder if you should have the ability to reproduce with such an unforgiving heart. God forbid your child ever has such a tough choice to make and this is what they have to deal with I would hope you love and support your child no matter what choices they make. Its never easy whatever the decision but do what YOU think is best for YOUR situation.

[Amanda31sa]

Ladies i did abortion 8 yrs ago,am not proud of what i did i nko it was wrong bt seemed as da only solution i had at dat time,iv been struggling to fall pregnant for the past two years,i asked god to forgive me and i have forgiven myself,do you think i can fall pregnant again after what i did?

[gizmo5656]

Hello, my story is that when I was about 23 I had an abortion.  I got pregnant 6 months later and was completely mixed up and in a very bad time in my life, so I had another one.  I have not shared this with anyone besides my husband who I have been married to for over 2 years.  I am now 33 years old and wanting to have a family.  I was wondering if anyone out there knows of counseling or may have an ear to listen.  I feel guilty and sad for my past and think about it all the time.  I do not want to be punished for my past because I want to have a baby now.  I feel like I was given a chance and now its to late.  Does anyone feel the same way????

[flaca02]

Hi my name is stephanie...and from expirence plz whoever is reading dis abortion is the wrong decision to make.I regret mine soo badd...I would cry and pray to god to jus give me my baby back n forgive me.The crazy thing is I had got an abortion may 7th 2010 den found out I was pregnant.Im soo happy and I jus hope god really gave me dis chance and I hope I have a healthy baby.I also learn dnt ever take nebodies advice and peer pressure you to get an abortion.That's what happend in my case and sooo regret it!!!!!!So plzz im begging evry girl who's readin dis jus keep your baby handle ur responsiblities u may feel ur not ready,but god wouldn't give u something u cnt handle.I love god soo much n very upset I broke his heart doing what I did,but I believe he forgave me cuz he gave me another baby which I cnt wait to have!!Wish me luck guys..

[SADDENEDSTARR]

I JUST WANT U GUYS TO THINK ABOUT OTHER SITUATIONS PPL GET ABORTIONS. I NEVER EVER WANTED AN ABORTION, BUT I GOT INVOLVED WITH THIS GUY WHO WAS A REALLY NICE GUY, SWEET, HONEST, ALMOST EVERYTHING U COULD WANT IN A MAN...HE WAS'NT! I GOT PREGNANT NOT KNOWING WHAT KIND OF MAN HE WAS AND THINGS WERE GREAT, HE WAS REALLY LOOKING FOWARD TO HAVING A BABY WITH ME. MY HORMONES AND EMOTIONS MADE ME START TO FEEL LIKE I WANTED TO BE LEFT ALONE FOR A LITTLE SO WE WOULDNT ARGUE. BUT THE GUY I WAS WITH ENDED UP TAKING IT LIKE I DIDNT WANT TO BE WITH HIM ANYMORE AND THE DEVIL CAME OUT OF HIM. I WAS ABOUT 5 WEEKS PREGNANT WHEN HE TOOK HIS RAGE OUT ON ME. HE GRABBED ME BY MY NECK, PICKED MY FEET UP OFF THE GROUND (I AM 25 YRS OLD, ONLY 5 FT AND 125 LBS), AND SLAMMED ME ON MY BACK ON THE FLOOR OF THE LIVINGROOM, THEN SQUEEZED EVEN HARDER. HE DID THAT 3 MORE TIMES IN TWO HRS LONG. I HAD BLUE AND BLACK HANDPRINTS ON MY NECK, SCRATCHES ON MY FACE AND NECK, BRUISES ON MY BACK, ARMS, AND LEGS. MY BACK HURT LIKE HELL. NOBODY HEARD THE NOISE AND CALLED THE POLICE OR CAME TO HELP, HE HAD MY PHONE AND WOULDNT GIVE IT TO ME, I WAS IN NEW YORK AND I LIVED IN PHILADELPHIA, I THINK HE STOLE MY DEBIT CARD SO I COULDNT LEAVE. I JUST KNEW I HAD TO GET AWAY FROM HIM. HE DROPPED ME OFF AT WORK 3 DAYS LATER. I GOT OUT OF HIS CAR WENT TO WORK AND ONCE I KNEW HE WAS BACK IN HIS STATE, I TOLD HIM IT WAS OVER! I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT I COULD DO, AND THE BEST THING WAS TO CUT HIM OFF COMPLETELY. I WOULD NEVER KEEP A MAN AWAY FROM HIS CHILD...SO MY CHOICE WAS TO GET RID OF THE BABY. I KNO IT WAS SELFISH, BUT I WANTED NO CONTACT WITH THAT CRAZY MAN.

[shanty21]

You would probably benefit greatly from the message boards at the website I have listed above. They have one that deals with abortions because of medical problems and also one that deals with replacement baby feelings which is what you are now experiencing. Again it is a non-religious, non-judgemental site for women who have had an abortion to talk and vent about their personal experiences and share feelings with women who have been exactly where you are right now. There is also help there for the father.

[littlemommy]

i once thought abortion was wrong until i was put in the position where i thought it was 4 the best. When i was 14, i had a miscarriage at 12 wks, when i was 17 i had a little girl who is now 2 yrs old and the light of my life, when i was 18, i had a miscarriage and 10 days ago, i had an abortion. I regret the decision and it hurts so much. my fiancee and i cry everyday. Things were difficult, the baby was not growing properly and my fiancee and i were havin hard times. I went through w/ the abortion after weeks of a constant battle in my head with whether i should keep the baby or not. i really did want the baby but went thru with the D&C on a spur of the moment, thinking it was best. i know it is rough, and will never judge anyone for the decisions they make. I too want a baby now and feel so horrible and would do anything 2 get that child back. I pray everyday i can forgive myself. it has only been 10 days since my abortion but my fiancee and i are planning on trying again ASAP. some think it is insane, and there can NEVER be anything that will replace that loss of an abortion or a miscarriage, but having another baby i think would help myself and my fiancee with this emptiness and sadness we feel. We want a family of our own, and it is our lives so we are going for it. and to you, if you are ready and it is what u truly want, then i say, GOOD LUCK and i hope u get whatever it is you desire. hang in there. there are people out there who understand and have been thru it as well.

[SHELLY83]

I was preg early this yr,..and if any of u have read other post of mine u will see i said i lost it,... i didn't i too had an obortion. it wasnt an easy decision at all, i was engaged (not happy) was told i was almost 3months at first, then told the baby had down-syndrome...after that i felt sick to think i was going to bring someone it to the world that would be looked down on by many, ...then i was told i was only nearly 2 months! i was confused and not only that my relationship wasn't good at all i had moved away from family to be with him and was told what to do and who to be seen with...amongst other things! i really hated being preg b'coz of all that happened but knew i wanted to b a mum! i went back to family for some time out and things just got worse,.. he didnt want to baby..i felt i had no choice even tho everyone was telling me it is my body and up to me! but after everything that happened i know it would of hurt me more if i didnt go thru with it and plus i dont think children should grow up without a father... it wasnt that long ago, i dont regret it and know i could NEVER do it again, i wasn't myself at all thru the whole thing

[shanty21]

There is a website that may help you www.afterabortion.com. There is non-judgemental help and advice there.

[so young and witnessed so much]

I got an Abortion when i was 13 yrs. old not because i wanted to but because i had no other choice. Now i have been trying to get pregnant for more than 2 years  but have not. Im scared i hope that is not because of the abortion that i got.Can anyone relate to this or does anyone know or have any idea what can it be??

[shanty21]

I am not an abortion advocate. Actually I am very much against it. Having said that I would like to give my 2 cents on this issue. Not all women who have an abortion are uncaring, horrible people who don't appreciate what God gave them. Some are actually so caring that they get pressured into doing something that they will regret and haunt them for the rest of their lives. A crisis pregnancy is a traumatic event for most women especially those who thought it would be a welcome event. Unfortunately, some women get coerced into believing that they are being selfish for actually wanting to keep their baby and usually by the people closest to them who they go to for what they believe will be good advice. Boyfriends, sister, best friends and yes even their own mother's if you could just imagine that. They will hear things like "your too young, you can't even take care of yourself", "you don't have the money and the baby will suffer," and the most common reason people push women into abortion is the famous "what will my friends, neighbors say" of course that is the one they will never admit. They also will never have to live with the guilt and pain. Although people think it is horrible to want to replace the aborted baby it's totally natural because they never really wanted to abort in the first place and now are trying to justify their decision. Abortion causes mental illness in some women for the rest of their lives. Please try to help women in crisis pregnancies before they get pushed into doing something horrible and help women who have has abortions to heal. Awareness of these issues is paramount in preventing abortions in the first place.

[ivayla]

its just not fair.u dont know me and my story so i still think u judje me.

[JoAnnaRF]

Trying to protect the inncocent lives that people like you take for convenience sake is not judgemental. It is MORAL!!
You say everything happens for a reason. This is true in the case of things that are beyound your control. Such as the rain, or a miscarriage. Murder would NOT be included in this. The life and then subsequent death of your child was CONTROLLED by you and only happened for selfish reasons. Don't make it sound like it was God's wish or necessary in order for the Earth to turn.
SO you threw one away because it was not CONVENIENT for you, and now you want another? Your going to be a great MOM!!  Hope this one doesn't experience Mommy having a bad day!

[ivayla]

its so easy to judge.everyone here judges the poor girl.i had an abortion soon and the time was not right for me too.i just couldnt have the baby.i wish i could but...everything happens for a reason.now im going to get married and i hope that very soon i will get pregnant again.i just had an abortion 1 month ago but i dont think its a mistake to have a baby so soon.so good luck girl.im with you.

[Jenni6485]

What are my chances of getting pregnant immediately after an abortion? This baby came at wrong timeing between the time that i left my boyfriend, and came back. If it is his, then ofcourse id keep it, but if not, we want a child. What do i need to do to make my body good to go for another pregnancy?

[angel4980]

I have to say i agree w / alot of you ..unless you have a medical reason then there is no reason to have an abortion..
i can fully understand because i myself have 2 beautiful children that were a blessing to me ,i am 25 years old .. and 2 years ago i had to have an abortion 4 medical reasons ... i have (endometreosis) it's pretty bad im always in alot of pain from it.. it broke my heart to have to have and abortion... but i got pretty sick i was in the hospital my doctor told me that i probably would not be able to carry my baby to full term... it was a tough decision for me and my fiance to make but my health was at risk!! and i have to be here to be able to take care my little ones.... i would advise alot of you young women to wait to have children untill your really ready .. its not easy raising children ...you can't get everything you want ne more because no matter what your children come first.. and unless you can fully understantd that then your not ready!!!!! i know from experience i had my daughter when i was 16 and my son when i was 19... i gave up my life , for them and to me it was worth every minute of it..my children are my life i wouldnt change that 4 the world..... SO .PLEASE.UNLESS YOU ARE FULLY READY TO HAVE A CHILD AND KNOW YOUCAN TAKE CARE OF IT ..........(PLEASE WAIT)

[greenpixie]

Thank you!  I knew there was some other term, but I couldn't think of it.

[JoAnnaRF]

Good point about the terminology. A Spontaneous Abortion is the medical term for a miscarriage and that may very well be the case.

[greenpixie]

I commend the respectful way in which you expressed your opinion about it.  So sorry your husband had to deal with that.  My BF's brother is dealing with that type of thing.  His girlfriend (of 3 months) got pregnant and she won't stop getting drunk all of the time.  Clearly she needs help, but refuses.  In the meantime, we just have to pray that the baby isn't born with FAS.

[greenpixie]

I'm also sorry your are getting judged for this.  This happens anytim eabortion gets mentioned on these boards. I have a question for you.  I'm sorry if this is wrong, but I got the impression that maybe English is not your first language?  I bring this up b/c I'm trying to make sure that you did indeed have an abortion and this wasn't a miscarriage. Sometimes DRs will refer to miscarriages as "terminated pregnancies", which is also the language people sometimes use for abortion.  If you did voluntarily have an abortion, then I too think you should seek counseling before getting pregnant again.  But if your pregnancy ended b/c of other medical reasons then you need to have a normal cycle before trying again.  Best of luck to you.

[monkeyflower]

I'm sorry you're getting jumped like this; this can be a pretty judgemental board. Don't take it to heart.

Rather than try for another baby, I would encourage you to seek counseling to help you come to terms with your decision. You have plenty of time for getting pregnant in the future. To choose to get pregnant to assauge guilt or fear or anxiety wouldn't be fair to you or your future baby. In the meantime, get some help to figure out why this happened for you, and to get okay with yourself and the choices you made. I wish you all the best.

[poetgirl1979]

I am totally pro-life too, and it's HARD to support someone who has had an abortion, to have a baby. There is such a mix of emotions afterwards though and it's best to WAIT, untill those emotions settle down. I'm going to share with you, my experience with this awful thing called abortion. My husband was married for less then a year when he was 18/19. His ex got pregnant and had an abortion, he couldn't stop her. He regrets it every day. I see how devasting it can be first hand. He has moved on and wants to have kids with me now, we've been married 7 years. His child would have been 9 years old this past August, and even though he is doing well now , I'm sure he will ALWAYS think about that child. When we have kids, he will think about it, when they start to grow and go through what kids do, he will think about it. It hurts me too, because I love him so much. It hurts me, because we have to TRY to get pregnant and she just threw that baby away. There are so many in this world, on this board probably that would love and gladly adopt a baby someone doesn't want, just because you make one mistake, ie. unprotected sex, doesn't mean making another one will make up for it. Two wrongs  do NOT equal a right. Please wait and think hard about your decision... I don't believe in abortion, but I DO belive in forgiveness, and just because you had an abortion, I do not believe you should never be allowed to have another child. But PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, think about it and wait. God bless you!

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you;"
Jeremiah 1:4

[JoAnnaRF]

Abortion, 8 weeks later wanting to get pregnant? I am so totally confused. What is going on in your head?

[blondie72]

I may get jumped for this but I do not care.  I feel if people have an abortion...While the dr's are in there to remove this precious baby (who did NOT ask for this) they need to rip EVERYTHING else out so you can NOT get pregnant ever again.  I have always said if it was going to kill me to have a baby then I would make my DH make arrangements to have someone help him with the baby.  I have lived my life and I would give my baby the same thing.  If I were raped (I hope it never happens) but I still feel I would carry the baby but give it to a wonderful home.  So many ppl struggle with pregnancies and here you get all these young girls who go out and have sex and think just killing the baby makes it ok.  It really does make me sick.  As far as the original poster having another baby I do not think you should ever consider it again.  Sorry to upset ppl here but I am totally PRO LIFE and this is my opinion.  Take Care