1: Scars fade over time. I've gotten some nasty ones and you'll be shocked if you could find them. Including one that started out as a 6 inch gash about 7/8 years ago. If you have scars, don't worry, they really do fade in time. Also there are creams that may help speed up that process.
2: No male/female is going to look at your vaginal area that closely. (That is assuming you shave and it is visible.) When it comes to sex, someone who loves you won't be bothered. Also, anyone who says something is probably a royal jerk anyways and so not worth your time.
3: yes you probably should stop picking at them- but mainly because you don't want them to get infected.