You REALLY need to see your doctor. I wouldn't say this is your life forever but you are talking about numbness (nerve issues) and bladder prolapse. This needs medical evaluation. I had a big old baby naturally and it is a lot to recover from. But the rule of thumb is that issues post episiotomy that last longer than three weeks such as numbness (or pain as the flip side, glad you don't have that at least) is looked into as possible prudendal nurealgia. Actual nerve damage is pretty rare, less than 1 percent of deliveries result in that. Before we talk further, you need to see your doctor to evaluate if this is going on. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pudendal-neuralgia/ The issue does often produce pain but numbness is also a symptom.