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Avatar universal

Vaginal Tearing during sex

I think, but not really sure if this is where I should post this.  But I have some questions that I would like to have answers to.  Recently my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time.  He is umm kinda big.  And I haven't had it that big before.  Anyway, when we first started there was no problems for entry but it started hurting.  It wasn't too big of a deal.  Well now I have tears...in two or three locations on the outside of my vaginal area.  It hurts to move in anyway including going to the bathroom for obvious reasons since they are cuts.  But I was wondering what I should do?  The pain is unbearable.  Almost like when I had my son and I ended up with four tears.  Thanks.
297 Responses
Avatar universal
There isnt much you can do.. Keep them clean with baby whipes or peroxide to fight any bacteria, and use neosporine at night time. During the day feels all mushy and grose, so I wouldnt use it during the day. :-)
I'd refrain from sex until they heal.. you dont want to irrate what's already irritated, you know? It shouldnt take more than a few days for the pain to go away.
Dont be afraid to ask questions... You can't shock us. :-) We've heard everything. hehe.
93532 tn?1349370450
I would consult your doctor, if it is that painful you need to be seen. I am leery of suggesting treaments involving neosporin and such as some people don't react well and that is not an area that is generally safe to use neosporin.

When I had my boys, I had a 3rd degree epi with one and a small tear with the other. I was simply told to use the peri bottle and rinse with warm water frequently throughout the day and anytime after voiding.

Still, I would feel safest advising you to see your doctor and as the PP mentioned, avoid sexual activity until you are fully healed.

Avatar universal
I am so glad to have found this site. I have been with my boyfriend for more than 1 year. I had gotten tested for everything last year and our relationship is monogamous. This week I found a vaginal tear, however, I was also worried it was herpes! This has been the worst pain and it has not healed. I am thinking about going to the doctor just in case to rule out herpes. Any other suggestions? it is very nerve wreaking not knowing exactly what it is! Never had any  hx of anything. It hurts to go to the bathroom (urinate). Can underwear also cause the tears?
Avatar universal
my friend had this same problem. (although he's not even that large). anyway, i heard (maybe even here on this forum) to put desitin baby ointment on the affected area. she tried it and it worked. i also dont reccomend putting all sorts of things down in our delicate area (sometimes it can make it waaay worse) but you should contact your obgyn for an appt. this is VERY common. (tears, not being large..lol).
Avatar universal
use some lubrication that will probobly help like ky jelly or something.
Avatar universal
im not sure of peroxide down there either..OUCH
avoid soaps, warm bath, air dry, some hospitals use a heat lamp for tears, but you have to be careful with that.
If he is "big" lots of lubrication!!
Avatar universal
Any other ladies here ever hear of Sits baths? Well you could try it. I was given this large bowl type thing (After 1st baby in 1989) that was placed over the toilet seat. Hot water filled it and was constantly replinished as the cooler water trickled into the toilet. This was very soothing (and clean) for a severe episiotomy and trying something simular might ease your pain.
It may also seem old fashioned but I also suggest Vaseline. It can help ease the friction and keep the cuts from tearing further. You should consult with your doc and try to figure out ome compromising positions with your boyfriend that will accomidate both of you since he isn't going to get any smaller and you aren't going to get any bigger. However, over time, I do believe that a woman's body will learn how to adapt to her mate.
Hopefully sooner than later.
Avatar universal
I have been experiencing the same thing for the last 2 years (since my son was born) and was growing rather worried about it.  I asked my OB to look at a particular spot I had on my perineum which was rough and white and shiny.  She also noticed I had some lacerations by my vaginal opening up by my clitoris.  She did a biopsy of the white spot and it came back to be something called "Lichens Sclerosis."  This is basically a thinning of the vaginal/vulvar tissues that can cause easy tearing even when wiping yourself dry, which is when my cuts seem to occur.  The vaginal cuts are a part of the LS and the treatment for it usually includes a topical steroid cream and topical testosterone to "beef up" the thinning tissues.
Avatar universal
to anyone that has had a vaginal tear from sex...please help.  did it burn to urinate like the next day or did it take a few days???  also how long did it take to heal??  (i got tested for herpes yesterday but the wait for results is so upsetting).  i did have really really rough sex with this person so im hoping its a vaginal tear. there are two one on each side of the inner vaginal opening. thanks to anyone that can help-im so upset!!!!
what was it that you had?
Avatar universal
Wats up everybody! Im knew to this whole forcum thing and need some advice.. Recently I had sex with a guy friend and we had rough sex! We did in fact use protection but i have a short cut/tear on the space between my anus and my vagina (the perineum). How does rough sex cause these things? we had sex a few days ago and it was kinda sore yesterday but today i took a shower and put vaseline on it and it feels alot better (for those who are wondering what to do). He is pretty big (if u know what i mean)  and i know i had to tell him a few times to let me scoot down while he was on top bc i could feel alot of pressure on the outside? Why is this?
Avatar universal
I too have had the vaginal tears due to intercourse. But my biggest concern was the area outside the vagina...just below the vagina.  Where a woman can tear when she has a baby.  I noticed it was slightly torn in that area.  I went to two different doctors and both said it would heal on it's own and that no stitches were needed.  It's been several months now and I have not had sex since.  The area is healed and no longer is sore...but it never closed back together.  Is it too late to get stitches?  I am afraid that I will be too big now or that it may tear more in that area.  The doctors don't seem concerned but I worry about this.  What do you think?
Avatar universal
My MD recommemded using Crisco...just regular Crisco for all things vaginal. It really works. Stops the pain and itching of all sorts of things - including yeast infections while waiting for the Rx to work. Also, I have found that with vaginal teas, using wet folded toilet paper after urination stops the pain...lots less irritation.
Avatar universal
me and my boyfriend have sex quite alot, i sometimes feel sore afterwards and it hurts when i have a wee but it doesnt happen often, but tonight we had sex as usual, my boyfriend noticed afterwards their was blood on the sheets it was a small amount though, i checked myself and i havnt got a sign of blood on me and he said he hasnt got blood on him either, i've looked on the internet for ideas from where the blood might of came from but its no help, i think it could be tearing i dont know. the soreness i often get is around my perineum area and when im sore it often feels like that part of me has split. i havnt got a clue if the blood came from my perineum being split, got any ideas anyone?
Avatar universal
vitamen E is a miracle...i recently have gotten and tear and its annoying cuz it hurts when i start to have sex and then afterwards i am super sore ....
but i use vitamen E and it helps alot and has been reccomended in naturalist health women books..
its sooths......
Avatar universal
My boyfriend and I had sex today which was our first time together, only my second time having sex period though.  I'm very petite and well, he has a large penis,  not long ways though.  Anyways at first he had trouble penetrating me which hurt because of my size but after he was in everything felt great and there was no pain.  I then went to take a **** and saw that I had torn my perineum.  There was also a small cut on the inside of my labia minora.  At first it hurt to even sit but the pain is now gone and I'm just wondering how long it's going to take to heal, and when I have sex with my bf again am I just going to rip again?  This is frustrating because he's leaving wednesday for military training and will be gone for a week.  I was hoping to get together tuesday before he left but now i don't see how that's possible due to my tear.  I don't know what to do!  I finally find a GREAT guy and now i'm going to be terrified to have sex with him again for fear of ripping even more!
Avatar universal
This is embarrassing, but I was rubbing my vulva up against a guy over the weekend (not having sex), and now the inner lips of my vagina are red and painful. I am pretty sure it is not an infection, but from chafing. What should I do? It burns..
246101 tn?1189755831
I just got married on 7/7/07 I'm 25 and was a virgin. we have been married for a month now but the other night he got irritated at me cause i went to visit my sister and he waited on me in the truck, and i think i may have kept him waiting too long, and when we got home, he told me he wanted to have sex so when he wants it i give it to him, but he was very rough with me and it felt like air had gotten up in there and it felt like his penis what using my cervix as a punching bag. when i woke up the next morning, from my belly button to the bottom of my vagina, was hurting like it was bruised. do you think this is the case?? he has never done this before, and he was very apologetic to me, and said he didn't realize he was too rough. I told him i was never gonna have sex with him again if he was upset or mad.
Avatar universal
I have a few vaginal cuts on my perineum too. Is it possible for an untreated cut to cause infection? I mean, i had the cuts from rough sex (not knowing until i felt symptoms.) I started to have blisters, pain with walking and sitting, pain when urine passes over the blisters and cuts. I went to my doctor and the possibility of it being herpes came up. I am completely freaked out and waiting for test results.
But can something so small like cuts from rough sex cause something so full blown?
I also have been taking Valtrex for 3 days and it isnt working. the only thing working is the lidocaine jelly that I apply like every 2 hours.

Please help me!
Avatar universal
i believe i have tearing, I had sex about a week ago, it was my second time, with about a year in between. i was kind of pressered into it by friends. I am very small down there suprisingly so, and i allowed this to happen, for the first week i was just sore, then something else happend six days later, it just out of nowhere started to throb, and then came the burning during urination. It has to be vaginal tears i can't think of anything else it could be. I'm going to try the vasiline
Avatar universal
I had sex for the first time 2 nights ago. I'm assuming my vagina wasn't wet enough and that i was tight.  My partner's package is quite big aswell so i'm sure this had a part.  My vagina has a tear in it, and that night it was bleeding a lot, like my period.  The next morning there was no blood at all and it hasn't been bleeding since.  It obviously still stings when i pee because i have an open wound, and i could visily see the tear when i was looking in the mirror.  I'm thinking that it'll just heal on it's own because it has compleely stopped bleeding, do you think it will?..I'm really scared to go to the doctor and i'm really convinced it's going to heal on its own in a few days or so
Avatar universal
I have had vaginal tearing several times in the past eight years generally from rough sex combined with dry condoms. Just this past Sunday while having sex I noticed that all of the sudden it felt like someone had lit a fire in my vagina. The condom had absolutely no lubricant and had torn which I believe to have caused the friction. Later I found three tears with a little bleeding and it burned like the dickens to urinate. Since this has happened on previous occassions I did not visit the doctor but I did have a herpes test in the past and the results were negative. Just some friendly advice during intercourse keep some kind of lubricant whether you are using condoms are not and that should help reduce any future vaginal tearing.
Avatar universal
I need help.....I had sex with my boyfriend and after sex  i went to use the bathroom and something fell in the toilet. It looked like some kind of vaginal tissue. Can you guys help me?
Avatar universal
Try baby powder for the area.  It keeps things dry.  I tested negative too- during a sore.  I believe that once you tear there it remains suceptible.  I had rough sex and tore for the first time in my late 30's.  Now each time afterward it happens after having had rough sex again.  I think the combination of constant moisture helps attribute.  The baby Powder helps the mositure and if you can ever take the pain- some new skin -like a liquid bandage - on the tear will keep it closed and dry.  It hurts like a ----- though-so it is not for the soft hearted!!
Avatar universal
hey...i have just read all your guys advice there is so much to take in..i had sex with my boyfriend the other night after 8 months of no sex..(i have been away..long story)..but everything was okish him entering me was a bit sore so we used some lube then after that everytime he entered me it made me wince...the sex was rougher that usual and i was in a lot of pain afterwards...i could barely sit up..then next day i was throbbing badly i checked out with a mirror the area and saw that i have like a friction burn on the outer side of my vagina and a small tear on the other side?...whats the best treatment for this?...its also agony to pee..how long shouls it take to heal?....in a lot of pain still 2 days afterwards...help!!
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