Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Why I can’t masturbate?

Hi I’m a 18-year-old girl and I have a really high sexual desire but I cannot masturbate.Is that gonna be a problem if I wanna have sex?I don’t even enjoy when I touch my vagina myself.
2 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
134578 tn?1614729226
COMMUNITY LEADER
No, it won't be a problem.

First of all, lucky you for having high sexual desire, that's good overall and will especially stand you in good stead if you have a long marriage.  (Sexual boredom becomes an issue sometimes -- staying excited about your spouse is probably the number one thing a woman can do to guarantee a long, faithful relationship.)

What you're asking about right now, though, is why you can't get excited about masturbation. I'd guess it's because of technique, since you've got plenty of desire. It isn't surprising that you don't find touching your vagina very exciting. The vagina is not the center of sexual response, the clitoris is. A lot of young women seem to think (probably because of the way sex is presented in porn, as reliant on the male member) that they need penetration to get an orgasm. Not so. If they are excited, women can get an orgasm by rubbing their private parts on a firm pillow, for example, or even by having their breasts caressed. This tells you how little penetration has to do with it. Also, for women, masturbation is not the mechanics as much as the thoughts. If you're having a sexual fantasy about someone you know, it takes very little pressure to cause an orgasm. If you're thinking of your homework or grocery list, you can have all the best physical moves and not get particularly excited.

There are some online guides to masturbation; for example, Cosmopolitan has one called "How to masturbate really, really well." A lot of women use a device (google "rabbit" and you'll find some), but I would caution that you go with the manual way for a while before using a machine because some women say the machine is so quick and easy that it spoils their response to the more lengthy effort of having real sex.

Good luck, you sound totally normal and not like sex will be a problem for you. Just don't have it with someone you're not excited about. Maybe men can do it mechanically, and not caring about the person they are in bed with, but for women that's pretty definitely a turn-off and kind of a self-negating thing to do besides. If you're turned on, everything else will follow.



Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
No problem at all.  We're all different and we all like different things.  Maybe you will love sex and maybe you won't.  Don't sweat it.  You are you.  And everyone can find the right partner if they wait for them that they are compatible with.  Good luck and really, do not worry about this.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Women's Health Community

Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
Bumps in the genital area might be STDs, but are usually not serious.
Chlamydia, an STI, often has no symptoms, but must be treated.
From skin changes to weight loss to unusual bleeding, here are 15 cancer warning signs that women tend to ignore.