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Why is my gf late if we haven't had intercourse?
Hello there, before writting down my question, i wanna thank you, I know what i'm going to ask is totally imposible but my girlfriend is freaking out and i wanna calm her down by showing her some evidence. This is the thing, like 2 weeks ago i believe my gf and I were kissing and everything. So at some point we started dry humping but with clothes on, the two of us. I wanna mention that 2 months ago my gf took the emergency pill, because she panic that she might get pregnant because i finger her maybe with some pre-*** on my finger, i didn't support this idea, cause i knew it was not possible but couldn't stop her from doing it. She has her period, next month she had it again but a week late, and now she is late again and is freaking out. I think this whole stress is making her to have a late period and the fact that she took that pill is also messing with her hormones. i just wanna show her that is totally impossible and explain to her why she is having a late period. Is it possible to get pregnant by the means i just told you? Thanks for everything
COMMUNITY LEADER
Women are late ALL the time from time to time. Meaning, it happens to all girls at one time or another. We are late because of changes in routine, stress, illness, weight gain or loss or just a blip in our hormones. If she goes 3 months without a period, she should see her doctor. Then I'd have her hormone levels tested and her thyroid checked. You have to have intercourse to get pregnant though. And when you say 'pill', I would say it was silly to take plan B. Really. SILLY. She did not need that and NOW, she will be messed up for 3 months of so in terms of being irregular. She didn't need plan b. Unless you put your penis in her vagina, stay away from plan B. That is to be taken like once or twice in a LIFETIME. It's for true emergencies as it messes up our hormones. good luck
3 Comments
Locario, she is taking Plan B because she is frightened or uncomfortable. and that is pretty scared if it takes her to such an extreme. It doesn't matter if her fears are well-founded or not. It doesn't matter if you give her logical explanations. You need to accept that she is so freaked that she would rather take a super overdose of hormones than live with the anxiety.
I was told by a woman who works with OCD patients that one of her patients had taken Plan B three times in a year along with using condoms and being on the pill. But she wasn't really freaked about pregnancy, she was freaked about the activities she was doing that might risk pregnancy. Her anxiety had just settled on the easy worry, pregnancy, instead of the hard reality -- telling her boyfriend that she felt like she was just saying yes to make him happy and keep him as her boyfriend.
You might consider that your activities have been too much for your girlfriend's comfort zone and she just doesn't want to admit that, and she wants to keep you as her boyfriend. Since your girlfriend went so far as to actually take Plan B when it wasn't necessary and has so much irrational fear even in the face of logic, my guess is that something else is going on. If it is that she is feeling pressed to do more than she prefers to do, no amount of explanations and rational facts from you will remove her anxiety.
I was told by a woman who works with OCD patients that one of her patients had taken Plan B three times in a year along with using condoms and being on the pill. But she wasn't really freaked about pregnancy, she was freaked about the activities she was doing that might risk pregnancy. Her anxiety had just settled on the easy worry, pregnancy, instead of the hard reality -- telling her boyfriend that she felt like she was just saying yes to make him happy and keep him as her boyfriend.
You might consider that your activities have been too much for your girlfriend's comfort zone and she just doesn't want to admit that, and she wants to keep you as her boyfriend. Since your girlfriend went so far as to actually take Plan B when it wasn't necessary and has so much irrational fear even in the face of logic, my guess is that something else is going on. If it is that she is feeling pressed to do more than she prefers to do, no amount of explanations and rational facts from you will remove her anxiety.
I'm really, really thankful, everything you just said is really important, and was not seeing it in that way. It's true she is freaking out and i ain't much of a help. I just suggest to her that after this, we should take a break on sexual activity, so she can calm down for a while and start again when she feels like she is ready. And i know, taking plan B was not the greatest idea but i could not stop her from doing it. I'm just trying to be supportive and trying to understand what she is feeling. Thanks for the help, you gave me some really useful advices.
Society is pretty sexualized, and puts a lot of pressure on young girls especially. They look online or on t.v. and see young women as almost totally valued for their sexuality only, and it gives them the idea that their boyfriends (who are always glad to get some sexual gratification, after all, they are guys) will not want them unless they are sexually available. It is worth taking things slow while you think about what this means; it gives your slightest requests added weight even if you don't mean them to have it. It means that your requests for sex will always have the wind at their back, just by virtue of being a man in a society that tells women they should be sex objects who say yes. It means that her honestly telling you that she is frightened of the ramifications of sex will always be an uphill climb, because society puts so much pressure on her to be a pop tart. (Think of the words men call women who won't have sex. It used to be "frigid," a while back it was "numbtwat," and now it's a lot worse. And it's all about bullying women into being too afraid to say no, or men feeling entitled to their bodies whether they want to have sex or not, and going so far as to imply somethjing is wrong with a woman if she doesn't feel like saying yes.) As a result, young women very commonly are concerned that if they refuse sex too often, their boyfriend will leave, and the boyfriend doesn't have to say or imply a thing to benefit from this.
It's up to you to decide what you want to do about this. It sounds like you are an understanding person and care a lot about your sweetheart. She needs that, all media says to her that her main value is to swing naked on a wrecking ball like Miley Cyrus, and maybe she simply doesn't want to. It's nice that you are in her corner, and it's nice that you are being thoughtful about this. You will be a better boyfriend to her and to any future girlfriend or wife, if you understand this bias that works in your favor. Yes, it means some restraint on you being able to get constant access to sex whenever you might want it, but it also means you are seeing your partner as a human being in a world that tells her in big and little ways that as a woman she doesn't have as much right as you do to order her own sexual life for her own comfort.
Take care, and don't act like there is anything wrong with your girlfriend. She is just being real, and her reality is that she is not comfortable.
It's up to you to decide what you want to do about this. It sounds like you are an understanding person and care a lot about your sweetheart. She needs that, all media says to her that her main value is to swing naked on a wrecking ball like Miley Cyrus, and maybe she simply doesn't want to. It's nice that you are in her corner, and it's nice that you are being thoughtful about this. You will be a better boyfriend to her and to any future girlfriend or wife, if you understand this bias that works in your favor. Yes, it means some restraint on you being able to get constant access to sex whenever you might want it, but it also means you are seeing your partner as a human being in a world that tells her in big and little ways that as a woman she doesn't have as much right as you do to order her own sexual life for her own comfort.
Take care, and don't act like there is anything wrong with your girlfriend. She is just being real, and her reality is that she is not comfortable.
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