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Avatar universal

better to lose weight first?

i trust and respect you all. im not scared of the truth or honesty haha. anyway i have been dieting to lost weight. my dh and i want to have a baby. he is going to leave the end of march for a cruise (navy). he will be gone for 6 months. we said that if i got pg just before it would be great! but! im not sure if i should lose tons of weight prior, or go for it now. im ok with the fact i will gain weight during. im scared to be pg without him as i had a mc earlier this year. i know its most likely not to happen again. what would you do?? part of me says wait! lose weight and do it when he returns. but part says im getting older (35) and i dont really want to be an old mom! i know 6 months or so wont make that big of a difference! give me your honest opinions. i guess ill figure it out.
22 Responses
173939 tn?1333221450
I could imagine it would create an incredible bond between your husband and yourself if you were pregnant before he leaves, provided you can stay in some kind of contact and have some trusted person near you that would get you through any ups and downs of pregnancy. And never mind the weight loss, unless you`re talking about a weight that would make a pregnancy unbearable. So, that is the romantic side. On the rational side, I would consider your husband`s circumstances during those 6 months and also whether it is definetly 6 months or more. You don`t want to be close to giving birth and having him all shook up by whatever he may have experienced in the meantime. I would say, regardless, just give it a try and put the weight losss on hold. If you are pregnant before he leaves, great, if not, you can still diet for the 6 months to come.
Avatar universal
thank you for your response. i have seen your other responses and i respect them. it will only be 6 months unless we are attacked again. i guess i just dream of the cute maternity clothes for small gals haha. i saw a insert in the newspaper yesterday of mc dreamys wife and their soon to be twins. oh my god!!! she is like a size 2!!! i just remember how my last pg went and i was very emotional and cranky!!! lol he would do better without that, but his mother says he needs to be there for ALL of it hahaha. i love her! thanks for responding!
Avatar universal
I agree, I think you should go for it, you can always loose wait after the baby comes. Try to get preg next month so your hubby can be back before delivery. Thats my honest opinion, thats what I would do, if I was in your shoes. Honestly!
Avatar universal
thanks gals for  your responses. its just been so hard to choose!!! i would probably cuss his name every day if i have morning sickness haha. poor hubby. he wants one so bad
Avatar universal
You have two questions here: whether you should lose weight before trying to get pregnant, and whether or not you should actually try to get pregnant before your spouse leaves.

With regards to your first question I would say start making changes so you can lead a healthy lifestyle: drink lots of water and eat plently of healthy foods such as fruits, veggies, grains, etc, and start cutting back/eliminating any junk you eat (fatty, processed/refined, and high-sugar containing foods and, of course, rumballs LOL).  Also, start (or continue if you are already doing so) a physical exercise program - cardio and light weights.  By doing this you will not only lose weight BUT, nutritionally, you will be giving your body what it needs which will benefit you and a little peanut!  In my opinion any thing that will cause a "sudden" lose of weight (crash diet) or an unnatural diet plan (Atkins diet) would be a bad idea because, if you suddenly lose a lot of weight, this can stop ovulation or mess with your cycles.  I believe that making the food and lifestyle changes above is the best way to lose weight and keep it off.

With regards to your second question - first off I have a question for you.  I recall a few months ago you mentioned that you had a pap smear and the results were such that you had to go back in for another test (I hope Im not confusing you with someone else - please correct me if I am wrong).  Did you have the second test run already or is that something you are still waiting on?  If you havent had it rerun you may want to discuss this with your doctor first to make sure you are in the OK to try and concieve.

In terms of whether or not this is the right time for you, this is only something you and your husband can decide.  My husband and I faced this dilema recently when he visited over the Christmas break.  He lives in another state but will be joining me in 6 months. It would be nice to get pregnant now and only have a few months left when he moves here but I get stressed easily and have never been pregnant so in our case we decided it would be better if he were here to support me (I know my hormones will go crazy if I get pregnant).  

Some things for you and your husband to consider when making this descision are what will happen if you suffer  medical problems such as severe morning sickness during your pregnancy?  Do you have family close by that can support you and your son in your husbands absence?  Would that be ok with you and your husband?  Another thing..... just because you are TTC doesnt mean it will happen right away.  I totally understand the age concern and waiting 6 months seems like an eternity with that clock ticking by - Im 31 and have that same feeling!  I guess my opinion on this is if its meant to happen, it will happen (sounds cheesy I know).  In otherwords, if you decided to TTC before he leaves and you get pregnant, then that was in the grand plan for you.

Hope some of this helps!
Avatar universal
thank you; yes all those questions have been asked. i have been eating better trying to lose weight. trying to be healthier at least. i know it might or might not happen that quick. we tried last year and got pg the first time around (ended in mc). im not so worried about that. my mom lives about a mile away. my sister even closer (CRAZY I KNOW)I think what will happen is what will happen. i just want to be healthy and not gain too much. lord i know i couldnt have too much more haha.
172023 tn?1334675884
Sorry, I've been swamped with cable outages.  I should be able to get to you in a couple of months.  Hold on, I'll be there!
Avatar universal
at least im still liked over here! haha.
Avatar universal
awwee, we still love ya perty!

Hi Peak - for some reason I hadnt clicked as to who you were.  Nice to see you but I dont know if I can wait several  months for my cable!

Hows everyone doing this morning?  This board no longer has that great chat going on that it did a few months ago - I miss that ;(

BTW does anyone have the link to the darkside forum that was posted by Andy a few months ago?  The one I had no longer works for me (the post is too old to be displayed any longer)

172023 tn?1334675884
http://www.hostmybb.com/phpbb/index.php?mforum=thedarkside

Perty, what do you mean?  Everyone likes you!  I think spade22 had a great idea about just eating sensibly for now and not worrying about any crash dieting.  Good luck with the TTC issue!

Spade, I could fit you in on Jan30th between noon and 4.  That's the best I can do.  You can watch many tv shows online, you know.
Avatar universal
thank you; yes all those questions have been asked. i have been eating better trying to lose weight. trying to be healthier at least. i know it might or might not happen that quick. we tried last year and got pg the first time around (ended in mc). im not so worried about that. my mom lives about a mile away. my sister even closer (CRAZY I KNOW)I think what will happen is what will happen. i just want to be healthy and not gain too much. lord i know i couldnt have too much more haha.

You're very welcome.  It sounds like you have a great support network around you so things will be great in that respect.  If you also believe "what will happen will happen" it sounds like there is no reason not to try if that is what your heart tells you.  Also, even if you concieve tonight (and no, I cant tell you whether you are pregnant tomorrow morning even if you suddenly have a million symptoms!LOL) you can absolutely be healthy during your pregnancy.  If you eat sensibly during pregnancy you will not gain too much excess weight.  Have you started prenatal vitamins?  My doctor suggested I start them 2 months ago even though I said we likely would ttc until mid 2007!  They will not do any harm.
BTW are you very overweight or just trying to lose a few Ibs?

Have a nice evening - Im off to bed now as my power just shut off..... stupid freezing rain storm.  Wheres  whodis when you need her?
Avatar universal
Try for the baby!!!

If we waited to lose wait to do everything, nothing would ever get done. I agree though, eat sensibly and if you drop a few, good for you!!!

Good luck!!!
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