better to lose weight first?

[pertykitty]

i trust and respect you all. im not scared of the truth or honesty haha. anyway i have been dieting to lost weight. my dh and i want to have a baby. he is going to leave the end of march for a cruise (navy). he will be gone for 6 months. we said that if i got pg just before it would be great! but! im not sure if i should lose tons of weight prior, or go for it now. im ok with the fact i will gain weight during. im scared to be pg without him as i had a mc earlier this year. i know its most likely not to happen again. what would you do?? part of me says wait! lose weight and do it when he returns. but part says im getting older (35) and i dont really want to be an old mom! i know 6 months or so wont make that big of a difference! give me your honest opinions. i guess ill figure it out.

[pertykitty]

tutsie the best way to lose weight is eat healthy. smaller portions. drink lots of water and exercise. there is a weight forum on here and a nutritional forum that might be of better assistance to you. good luck!

[Tutsie roll]

I know this isn't about pregnancy but does anyone know a good way to lose weight?

[pertykitty]

at least im still liked over here! haha.

[holloman]

go for it .i know how u feel my huband just got send over seas in the air force and we when try and i will find out in 2 days if i'm pregnant. wish you luck

[chinga]

i think that weight comes in very little when you are trying to conceive you shouldnt stress the weight issue and also you should by this book called  what to expect when your expecting it has a best odds diet that will get you nutritionally fit to conceive and you should take prenatal ahead of time oh and missionary or doggie style are best ways to get pregnant the key is to losen up because when your relaxed its easier to conceive plus they have ovulation detectors or kits and if you prefer lubricant you should use water based and keep track of your period and cervical mucus these things are much more a important factor to conception than weight.

[pertykitty]

thank you; yes all those questions have been asked. i have been eating better trying to lose weight. trying to be healthier at least. i know it might or might not happen that quick. we tried last year and got pg the first time around (ended in mc). im not so worried about that. my mom lives about a mile away. my sister even closer (CRAZY I KNOW)I think what will happen is what will happen. i just want to be healthy and not gain too much. lord i know i couldnt have too much more haha.

[spade22]

thank you; yes all those questions have been asked. i have been eating better trying to lose weight. trying to be healthier at least. i know it might or might not happen that quick. we tried last year and got pg the first time around (ended in mc). im not so worried about that. my mom lives about a mile away. my sister even closer (CRAZY I KNOW)I think what will happen is what will happen. i just want to be healthy and not gain too much. lord i know i couldnt have too much more haha.

You're very welcome.  It sounds like you have a great support network around you so things will be great in that respect.  If you also believe "what will happen will happen" it sounds like there is no reason not to try if that is what your heart tells you.  Also, even if you concieve tonight (and no, I cant tell you whether you are pregnant tomorrow morning even if you suddenly have a million symptoms!LOL) you can absolutely be healthy during your pregnancy.  If you eat sensibly during pregnancy you will not gain too much excess weight.  Have you started prenatal vitamins?  My doctor suggested I start them 2 months ago even though I said we likely would ttc until mid 2007!  They will not do any harm.
BTW are you very overweight or just trying to lose a few Ibs?

Have a nice evening - Im off to bed now as my power just shut off..... stupid freezing rain storm.  Wheres  whodis when you need her?

[peekawho]

Sorry, I've been swamped with cable outages.  I should be able to get to you in a couple of months.  Hold on, I'll be there!

[PGB]

You know, I'm remembering my pregnancies and my DH during both.  Now, I wouldn't wish my DH gone overseas or anything, but he was a pain in the you-know-what both times.  I believe it might would have been easier on me AND him if he had been gone for the majority of them and only been there for the last month or two.  That's when I needed the most help anyway.  And it seemed like my hormones had settled down some by then too so we got along better to.  And, of course you will get along, he'll be gone for so long, you will be too happy to see him not to get along with him.  Guess what I'm saying is, GO FOR IT!!  LOL

[spade22]

awwee, we still love ya perty!

Hi Peak - for some reason I hadnt clicked as to who you were.  Nice to see you but I dont know if I can wait several  months for my cable!

Hows everyone doing this morning?  This board no longer has that great chat going on that it did a few months ago - I miss that ;(

BTW does anyone have the link to the darkside forum that was posted by Andy a few months ago?  The one I had no longer works for me (the post is too old to be displayed any longer)

[peekawho]

http://www.hostmybb.com/phpbb/index.php?mforum=thedarkside

Perty, what do you mean?  Everyone likes you!  I think spade22 had a great idea about just eating sensibly for now and not worrying about any crash dieting.  Good luck with the TTC issue!

Spade, I could fit you in on Jan30th between noon and 4.  That's the best I can do.  You can watch many tv shows online, you know.

[pertykitty]

thanks everyone. i have been thinking we wont try, not not try. i mean not use protection, but not obsess about when i am ovulating and such. ive done that!! the earliest we could try will be the middle of february. so i have time to lose several more pounds. i know the whole eating for 2 thing! watched my sis pack on the pounds!! i did fairly well with my son, didnt gain too much weight until i went on bedrest. you all have been very helpful, sometimes its easier to talk to someone other than family. they can be way to opinionated hahahha.

[pertykitty]

yes spade my pap came back as such , no infection or precancerous cells, just a slight abmormal number? she wasnt too clear. she said its not a big deal, the board of whatever states that it should be checked again in 3 months. she said it could be due to hormones, which makes sense, i was ovulating at the time. im 35 and the thought of having an amnio doesnt sound like fun either! i was in trouble on the maternal side, im disliked. the funny thing is the ones who didnt like my comments, which maybe rude but not mean, wished pain to nickel and called me a ***** and said they feel sorry for my kids. what a hoot that is!

[spade22]

peek - I wasnt aware you could watch tv shows online.  I have a really slow dial-up service though so I suspect that wouldnt work for me (it takes 10 mins to watch a 1 min video).  I dont get cable where I live - Im 2 miles out of the range ;(

perty - isnt it interesting how ppl start threads stating they arent trying to make trouble, but suspect the thread will do so anyway (ironic), and then talk about how ppl should treat others becuase they were upset about something that was said a few days earlier.  Inevitably, a heated argument is started, the person is even more offended and a few days later they post to say they will no longer be contributing to the site.  It bothers me when ppl do that - it is selfish for them to leave when they are able to help others and are leaving because of the way something was said or the content of a post which was offensive to them.

[boosty]

i think you should follow your heart no doubt. you guys are ready for baby and i think you should get pregnant as soon as possible so that your hubby will be back by the time of delivery. as for losing weight, just dont stress it until after the delivery of your baby. but try to eat healthy now and during pregnnacy. remember the saying " your eating for two" is not true. you only need so much more calories a day when you are pregnant. but i would stress so much with the weight now. enjoy your life, your pregnancy. and do what you and your husband want to do now!  good luck and baby dust to you

[boosty]

i meant i WOULDNT stress so much with the weight now.

[baby4me?]

Try for the baby!!!

If we waited to lose wait to do everything, nothing would ever get done. I agree though, eat sensibly and if you drop a few, good for you!!!

Good luck!!!

[spade22]

You have two questions here: whether you should lose weight before trying to get pregnant, and whether or not you should actually try to get pregnant before your spouse leaves.

With regards to your first question I would say start making changes so you can lead a healthy lifestyle: drink lots of water and eat plently of healthy foods such as fruits, veggies, grains, etc, and start cutting back/eliminating any junk you eat (fatty, processed/refined, and high-sugar containing foods and, of course, rumballs LOL).  Also, start (or continue if you are already doing so) a physical exercise program - cardio and light weights.  By doing this you will not only lose weight BUT, nutritionally, you will be giving your body what it needs which will benefit you and a little peanut!  In my opinion any thing that will cause a "sudden" lose of weight (crash diet) or an unnatural diet plan (Atkins diet) would be a bad idea because, if you suddenly lose a lot of weight, this can stop ovulation or mess with your cycles.  I believe that making the food and lifestyle changes above is the best way to lose weight and keep it off.

With regards to your second question - first off I have a question for you.  I recall a few months ago you mentioned that you had a pap smear and the results were such that you had to go back in for another test (I hope Im not confusing you with someone else - please correct me if I am wrong).  Did you have the second test run already or is that something you are still waiting on?  If you havent had it rerun you may want to discuss this with your doctor first to make sure you are in the OK to try and concieve.

In terms of whether or not this is the right time for you, this is only something you and your husband can decide.  My husband and I faced this dilema recently when he visited over the Christmas break.  He lives in another state but will be joining me in 6 months. It would be nice to get pregnant now and only have a few months left when he moves here but I get stressed easily and have never been pregnant so in our case we decided it would be better if he were here to support me (I know my hormones will go crazy if I get pregnant).  

Some things for you and your husband to consider when making this descision are what will happen if you suffer  medical problems such as severe morning sickness during your pregnancy?  Do you have family close by that can support you and your son in your husbands absence?  Would that be ok with you and your husband?  Another thing..... just because you are TTC doesnt mean it will happen right away.  I totally understand the age concern and waiting 6 months seems like an eternity with that clock ticking by - Im 31 and have that same feeling!  I guess my opinion on this is if its meant to happen, it will happen (sounds cheesy I know).  In otherwords, if you decided to TTC before he leaves and you get pregnant, then that was in the grand plan for you.

Hope some of this helps!

[pertykitty]

thanks gals for  your responses. its just been so hard to choose!!! i would probably cuss his name every day if i have morning sickness haha. poor hubby. he wants one so bad

[simbacatz]

I agree, I think you should go for it, you can always loose wait after the baby comes. Try to get preg next month so your hubby can be back before delivery. Thats my honest opinion, thats what I would do, if I was in your shoes. Honestly!

[pertykitty]

thank you for your response. i have seen your other responses and i respect them. it will only be 6 months unless we are attacked again. i guess i just dream of the cute maternity clothes for small gals haha. i saw a insert in the newspaper yesterday of mc dreamys wife and their soon to be twins. oh my god!!! she is like a size 2!!! i just remember how my last pg went and i was very emotional and cranky!!! lol he would do better without that, but his mother says he needs to be there for ALL of it hahaha. i love her! thanks for responding!

[Trialanderror]

I could imagine it would create an incredible bond between your husband and yourself if you were pregnant before he leaves, provided you can stay in some kind of contact and have some trusted person near you that would get you through any ups and downs of pregnancy. And never mind the weight loss, unless you`re talking about a weight that would make a pregnancy unbearable. So, that is the romantic side. On the rational side, I would consider your husband`s circumstances during those 6 months and also whether it is definetly 6 months or more. You don`t want to be close to giving birth and having him all shook up by whatever he may have experienced in the meantime. I would say, regardless, just give it a try and put the weight losss on hold. If you are pregnant before he leaves, great, if not, you can still diet for the 6 months to come.