bleeding while 9weeks now almost sure of miscarriage- how do I move on?

[loopyshap]

Hi it's loopyshap again.  I thought I would update you.  Not long after I posted my other the bleeding started again, this time much redder fresher blood and has never stopped, it's still accompanied by a pain in my stomach.  I am pretty sure by now that I have indeed miscarried.  I have an appointment for a scan this afternoon, but I am pretty sure that it will confirm my worst fears!  

How do you move on from this and go on to have more children.  The thought of trying for another baby in the future fills me with dread.  I don't feel I could go through all this again! I know I want more than one child but I don't know how anyone can have miscarrriages and stay positive.  I always thought I was positive and strong but I am a wreck!!  I can't tell anyone except my closest friends because I couldn't handle the sympathy, even the thought of people being nice to me makes me want to cry - I know it's early days yet. I feel that to move on I can't let the world know or it will be out there forever and people will treat me different.  What are other peoples experiences with this?  I will tell my mother because she went through this 23 years ago and hopefully she will help but I will leave telling her till I get the results of the scan.

[xrayu2]

I first want to say how sorry I am but maybe I can give you a little hope.  I had two miscarriages, one at 7 weeks and one at 10 weeks.  The doctors said there was a sac and no fetal pole both times and that there was really no baby there anyway.  To me, I was pregnant and I lost a baby.  Because of my insurance, to be considered a chronic miscarrier, I had to have had 3 back to back miscarriages.  My doctor sent me home with insructions to try to conceive as soon as I could(physically).  I was pregnant two months later and had a healthy baby girl.  Before getting pregnant with her, I was convinced that I would never have more children(I had one prior to miscarriages).  I am sure there are many women here that have had miscarriages and gone on to have a baby, yet in some way it will never make you forget your loss.  I hope I have helped in some way, because i remember that I felt hopeless after having mine.

[jgonzales]

I had no bleeding or cramping when I was pregnant, I didn't know that I was miscarring, nothing.
I went in for my prenatel check up and stuff, the doctor told me that everything was looking good, but they wanted me to get an ultrasound and some blood work. I was eight weeks and no heart beat and the doctor said that I would hear it next week! WRONG!
The doctor had told me to bring my family in for the ultrasound and I did.
THe doctor told me that there was nothing to see.
I found out that I miscarried on my brothers birthday (sept 8 2005) and I've been trying sense....
Poorly over the phone,I want it to go away.. and forget that it never happend, but talking about it helps. :)

[jgonzales]

Thank you for ur info.

If I didn't miscarrie, my baby would been due sometime during or around valentines Day.
My husband and I have been trying for a few months now, and we'll find out if were expecting on Valentines.
SO I pray that I am...
(after four months of trying)

[rae08]

I can really relate to what you are going through. Just a few weeks ago I was 10 weeks pregnant and started bleeding lightly, went to the dr's got an ultrasound and baby looked ok. I thought there was a chance I was going to have a m/c but I stayed hopeful but 3 days later the bleeding and cramps were so bad I was rushed to the hospital and had to have a d&c. I am completely devastated and I can't let go. I know I want to try again right away, but feel so sad about what has happened. It was my first pregnancy and first m/c it seems so unfair....I was thankful to find this posting as I believe we can all give each other some support and strength to heal from this. Take care.

[jgonzales]

I had miscarried (missed abortion) in september 2005. I'm wondering if this is normal.
Everynight when I go to bed I always hear the doctor saying that they're was no heartbeat nor a fetal movement (over the phone).
Why do I always think of that stuff when I go to bed?

When you have a D&C you feel crampy right. Well I was crampy, but I just didn't feel right, so I called the ER, and told them how I felt, and they told me to come over... right when I was getting ready to walk out the door, I was gushing blood.. It was everywhere:( My husband took me)
After four hours in the ER they told me that I had a tear in my uterus. I went home after.
The next day I still wasn't feeling right, so I went to another ER, and they ran so many tests, they took my temp which was normal. They went to draw some blood, I was fine, and then five minutes later I was shakey, teeth chattering, my temp went to 100.7.
hours went by, they referred my to another OBGYN, and I found out with all of trouble I went through I had a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI).
I've been trying to forget those few days, and I cant.. and I'm kinda scared if I get pregnant, I will have to go through all that again.
Is this normal?

[baby4Staci]

First, i am sorry for your loss and the experience you had.. Second.. If you had a missed miscarriage, that means you HAD a D&C???  You shouldnt expect this again.. Miscarriages in the most part, are a natural selection process.. sometimes you may have something wrong.. but that is rare.. Good luck, and again i am sorry for your loss

[LeoCatGirl]

did you have an ultrasound yet?? i was told if you are bleeding with pain you could have gotten pregnat in your tubes.you will need to take care of that right away or it will ruin that side you are prenant in ..if you had heavy bleeding and clotting blood come out then you plobaly had a misscarraige..or some people just have there first few periods during pregnacy a freind of mine had 3 reg periods and her baby is fine

good luck with everthing
Paulina

[dandeelyon]

First, I really hope you are not miscarrying.  I'm sorry you are going through this regardless.  The stress is horrible and scarry.

I have had two miscarriages in the last 1.5 years.  The last being September 2nd.  I am currently 8 weeks 5 days pregnant now and I am a wreck.  I am making my husband crazy with the "I wonder if this baby is still alive in me."  The last miscarriage, the babies heart quit when it measured 9 wks 4 days.  I was definately not ready to get pregnant again so soon.  There was a year between the last miscarriages.  I did much better mentally with that type of distance.  I want so much to enjoy this pregnancy but I can't.  I'm so afraid of losing it.  If I lose this one, I am done trying.  I have two children who are wonderful.  I am lucky there.

This is a rambling mess, for that I appologize.  Hopefully your current pregnancy will go to term.

[char17]

my mother went through 2 misscarrages before she had me almost 27 years ago.  she said it was very hard to keep trying but she tried to keep a positive attitude.  eventually she had me, and then tried again once more having another misscarrage.  just remember god only gives you what he knows you can handle.  if it is meant to be that you only have one child then you just have to try and accept that.(please don't take that in a bad way i don't mean it to be rude)  remember one child can give you as much love as any amount of children.  i wish you the best today, i hope you don't have to hear what you are thinkin but if so, just remember you still have one child who will love you always.

[loopyshap]

Thank you everyone for your comments.  Now I know for sure I have had a miscarriage ( i know this sounds silly) I feel a bit better.  I think the worst of it for me was the waiting and the not knowing!!  I have cried and cried and was so sure that I would be strong when they told me in the scan that the baby was gone but I broke down and cried in there too.  Its when people are nice to you  that is so difficult to handle.  I do feel that I can go back to day to day living again once the pain stops and the bleeding is gone. Im sure it will get easier with time!  Thanks again

[Becca1176]

I'm so sorry you are going through this.  It is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced - a miscarriage.  I know the pain you are feeling.  It's okay to cry & cry and cry!!!  I swore I'd never want to have another baby...but with time, you we'll feel better and may want to try again.  Unfortunately, You can't replace the baby you lost.  Even after having two more babies after my miscarriage, I still think about it.  It's a lot easier, I'll admit. It's been 6 years.  

Just give it some time..you need to focus on what's going on with your body right now..It took me 6 months before I was ready to try again.  And I worried the first trimester I would lose that baby!! Now, she's a healthy 4 1/2 year old!

take care
Becca