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Avatar universal

need advice

I was told by a few people to have my daughter tested for ADD/ADHD. These people that have suggested to have my daughter tested are around her every day and see how she acts. I am having a problem deciding what to do. I need to know if any one has any advice on what to do.
I have seen people on med. for ADD/ADHD and I have seen what it does to them when they have used them for half there life. I do not want my daughter to end up the way these people have ended up in using these meds.
It was also a suggestion to have her see a Christian counceler to get to the root of the problem, but I don't know any good Christian councelers and do not have a lot of money. My husband said that he was the same way when he was younger. I don't know what to do, all I know is that I want to do what is best for my daughter with out her being on meds. Can any one help me? Any suggestions will help greatly. Thank you
9 Responses
Avatar universal
while i am a certified teacher, i am not a special ed teacher. my feeling is that people are very quick to say a child is add or adhd when they are simply active or just being a kid. how old is your daughter? you can also look on line for her age and see what typical development/behaviors for her age looks like. i have a 3 year old and sometimes i just type in "three year olds" and read what stages they are going through. often times certain foods can cause over activeness, constant changes in routine (try to do same things every day so she knows what to expect) or a child is just plain active and they say oh, its adhd! i dont know what type of behaviors she's exhibiting so its hard to say if they are symptoms of add/adhd. usually trouble focusing, goes from 1 activity to next (wont stick w/it,)hyperactive, work is messy, disorganized, cant sit still, cant follow directions, easily distracted, cant finish things, forgetful, impulsive, doesnt listen. if i recall,add/adhd is diagnosed when child demonstrates behaviors consistantly for 6 mo. in more than 1 setting. school, home, other homes... i would bet that there are natural remedys/medicine that would help if she has add/adhd if you dont want a prescription med.
Avatar universal
Thank you kjsk, she is 6 yrs old soon to be 7 in july. She is very active and gets distracted very easly at home and at school. Her teacher has told me repeatedly that she can not sit still in her seet and has to constantly be on top of her to do her work. When she is frustrated she lashes out fisicly and violently at times. I just am not sure what to do, a part of me wants to have her tested and another part of me says that she is just a kid doing things that kids do. Again thank you very much kjsk for your advice I will look it up on the computer.

Avatar universal
i understand you being hesitant to have her tested because if she is, you dont want that label placed on her and have her on meds. however, being tested could give you a piece of mind.
is she going through any big changes or is the family? is anything going on in the home that she may be seeking attention for? also, how is her diet because people forget that foods play a major role in behaviors. are these new behaviors or have they been going on for a long time? are they only at certain times during the day or all day? you/teacher may want to keep a log of what type and when (time and day) these behaviors occur. for ex. i had a student in my class who was "off the wall" but it was only when he came in from afternoon recess. knowing this, i did some things to calm him down but he simply couldnt accept/deal w.transitions or change so he acted out.he was fine with activities in the class but going to and from recess, art or gym class was a nightmare.

sometimes you hear kids say, "so and so doesnt want to play with me" or, "i dont have any friends" and sometimes those statements paired with other symptoms is because of add/adhd.  the kids know something is wrong/different about them but cant understand or control impulses. it does sound like perhaps there may be some issues (like the acting out when frustrated) but i may keep a log first and look for patterns. then try to implement some behavior modifications, be consistant,tons of praise (wow, thats great, i can see youre really trying, you sat through that whole activity, i like that idea...)and like i said try to have a good solid routine, schedule and lots of opportunities to run around and get out that energy. hope this helps and let me know okay? kids are SOO complex arent they?
Avatar universal
Her father is in Iraq for the 2nd time and we are not sure when he will be coming home. He was able to come home for 2 weeks but had to go back. Her mood and temper seemed to change a little bit because he was home, but was mild when he was home. She usually acts up more when she comes home from school, as soon as her and her sister are together they start fighting like cats and dogs. I will try what you suggested and see if that helps. Do you know of any where I can go to look at diets for kids to help there behavior? Thank you for the advice, and I will try any thing before taking her to a doc. to have her tested.
Avatar universal
hi. i understand you wanting to try things first before the meds. too many people resort to meds even when it isnt necessary for their kids. however, there are many cases where it is indeed justified. i am sure that your husband being away has something to do with it. thats a hard situation even for an adult. i dont know, but id guess that he is lenient when he is home so she feels she can get away with rules that she may not normally get away w?. i mean, he's not going to walk in the door, hi im here and start repremanding her. you know? (although i could be wrong). then he goes back and that extra special attention she was getting is gone. i dont know what home life is like when she gets home from school but since school is pretty structured/routine does routine change when she gets home? or are you pretty tight w, a routine? are you consistant w. repremanding her? or do you let her get away w. things? like i said, a log of everything will show a lot and give you some answers to better guide you in the right direction. i will get back to you on healthy foods for kids that will help w. behaviors okay? sorry your dealing with this. its NOT easy.
Avatar universal
hi. i wrote at length earlier and i went to "post comment" and my text was gone! well, i said id get back to you about healthy foods. it is so important for kids to eat well. try to avoid coloring #'s in foods, hydroginated oils, processed foods, pesticides, sugars, sugary cereals.
nutritional intake affects our biochemical state and can reflect in our feelings, emotions, energy level, mental functioning, problem solving, socialization. often times food sensitivities have been proven to be the underlying cause of ADD. you may want to have her tested for any food allergies??
whats good to eat? whole cereals, wheat breads, brown rice, low fat milk and dairy products, moderate intake of lean meats, fish,chicken, eggs. i know the organic, healthy foods are more expensive and not often as convienient to grab on the go but worth it. some kids are picky eaters (and i dont know what yours is like)some kids may made need vitamin supplements because they are not getting it with the regular foods they eat. such as, calcium, magnesium, potassium, zinc, betacarotine, vitamin e and c, omega 6 and 3. if she is a picky eater, maybe involve her by helping you choose at the grocery store. like, which kind/flavor do you want? at home, maybe have her make the snack. take a banana, dip it in yogurt and roll in granola. usually kids eat things that they either had a say in or helped to make.

lots of exercise. running, jumping, climbling.

also, what about the amount of sleep she gets? is she getting enough? does she go to bed at a reasonable hour? does she need a little quiet time in the afternoon? (or do you? hee hee). just something else to think about/consider. keep sleeping hours as consistant as possible as well.

aromatherapy can help too. lavender, sandlewood, vanilla, cinnamon, bergamont, chamomile, orange are some that really help with moods and are calming, relaxing. you can add some drops into a squirt bottle w. water and spray bed sheets, in the air,in the car, simmer on stove, add to bath.

i saw an awesome website called drgreene.com. he talks a lot of ADD and foods. there was a ton of info. but i thought it would be better to have you go through what you felt was important and meaningful to you and weed out what isnt. hope this was helpful and hope you can find the answers, strategies you are looking for. not an easy thing to go through but sounds like you are really trying.im sure its all very frustrating and draning. esp. if your husband is away. if you've exhausted everything, dont be afraid to get her tested for ADD/ADHD. it may help answer some questions and be what the family needs for her to get herself "back". let me know what happens/is happening okay? happy 4th!
Avatar universal
where are you?
just to let you know i also saw a lot of testimonials of people who have children with behaviors much like yours and were all allergic to milk. something to think about. total change in behaviors once it was discovered. most thought it was add/adhd initially.
Avatar universal
Hello sorry went to Ohio for 2 weeks, and computer has been acting up lately. Thank you so much for the advice, I will try putting her on a diff. diet. Also I don't know if I should worry but she is 7 years old and ways(sp?) 65 lbs. should I be concerned? The doc. has not said any thing about her weight. My husband wants me to put her on a diet because he said that she is too big. I thought that she might be depressed also that might have somehting to do with it. She won't talk to me about  her feelings most of the time, and she will some times talk to my mother-n-law about how she feels. But the reason y I say that is because her dad is in Iraq, his sister used to live with us and she moved back to Ohio, and most of her friends moved away. All she wants to do is eat, and I know that that also is part of depression. When we were in Ohio her whole attitued changed and was not acting out as much and her and her sister hardly faught not like they were any way. She was so much happyer, and just the change in her was incredable. I had talked with my husband and told him that we might have to move to Ohio because of the change that I saw in her. He said that it is OK with him, and that I should do what I think is best for the kids. What do you think? I will go to drgreene.com and see what I can find there thank you for the advice.
Avatar universal
hi, glad you are still "out there".

i am not sure what is an average weight for a 7 yr. old girl is and if the dr. hasnt commented on it than i guess i would trust that its ok right now. usually the dr. will give a percentile for the height and weight. it would be easy enough to find out if you have any child dev. books or even check on line. im sure you know this but careful of putting her on any diet without talking w. her dr. first. i was just suggesting healthy foods as a substitute in case she wasnt eating well. but any special diet should be okayed by dr.

based on the info. you gave about people in her life going away and stuff it sounds like she actually may be filling a void with food. its comfort. moving would be a big decision. if you really dont have anyone to leave behind where you are now and if she will be with more family out in ohio, than maybe you'll want to consider? i just feel (and this is all based upon the surface of what you have posted)that whatever is going on it will follow her to ohio too. at least until you are able to pinpoint whats going on w. her behaviorily,emotionally.

my friend was in a similiar situation. she lives in upstate ny with her kids and her boy goes for half the summer here in mass.to be w. his dad. he seems happier here and wants to move. less behavior problems. we concluded that its because he's on vacation. dad never sees him so he gets tons of attention. his dad takes him to all these fun places and he gets to do things he normally doesnt get to do at home. he seemed depressed when he was home and wanted to go back to mass. then after a few weeks he was back to his routine at home and forgot all about mass.

you have some tough decisions but if you have nothing to lose where you are and you dont think it will be even harder on your daughter(the changes: home, school, friends...)then you really may want to consider. change is hard for kids and it ends up "coming out" in other ways that always arent that obvious. let me know how its all going ok? what did you think of that website? did you feel it was directed to your situation? dont forget also, there is a child dev. and behavior forum here too than may help.
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