everyone could have pitched in at LEAST $10...... but I am guessing the $50 since you said it is astonishing! if I had worked for someone for 9 years, the least I would have pitched in would have been $20!
What? Now I am dying to know ;)
Around here, the showers are for the first baby -- no further gifts or parties offered for subsequent pregnancies. (People give cards, but that's about it.) If fifty bucks is an insult in your town, I live in a super-poopy place. LOL
AnnieBrooke, I may agree with you - but, two other of my coworkers had 2nd babies 3 years ago an got $225 and $200... Yes, it was $50 - I just think it is a bit sad... I mean, I wasn't really expecting much, but I figured about $100 - enough for a couple packs of diapers and wipes...
I don't buy the whole, only first timers get showers/presents- I know there is a lot of different opinions about that one, but my personal feeling is that every baby is special, and there are always things you need, even with a new baby- sometimes items are still in use by the first, and as you said diapers and wipes are not keepable from the first time around! :) We had a second shower, and we didn't register for much for the second, some necessary items and stuff that wasn't keepable from Taylor (oneies are usually stained by the time they outgrow them!), but it was nice to just have a party to celebrate that we were having a second, and get some diapers and stuff...
a friend of mine had a second child, and she wasn't going to let me throw her a shower because her MIL would be offended that they were having a second shower (second baby)- so I threw her one and didn't invite the MIL... there- now she's not offended at my friend- she can be offended at ME for not inviting her! :)
I don't agree with only first baby getting a shower either, but I know it is an old custom. You're supposed to save and re-use the items from #1. I had mine 7 years apart, and had actually given away every single baby item when my daughter turned 5. I figured it wasn't happening, so truly I could have used everything at a second shower. (Thankfully, I got one!), I was pg again 4 years later (M/C) but could have truly used a third shower as all my second daughter's baby items were destroyed in Katrina. Sometimes, you should bend the rules for people you love!
Anyway, I think $50 is crappy, but what can you do but accept it with grace, and not contribute so much at your co-workers showers in the future.
I am not defending the women where you work, especially it can seem tactless of them to do such a lesser amount when you know how much it was in the past. Here are some thoughts, I don't know if they'll make you feel better, but maybe here is what is going on. Maybe: - they are all broke now compared to 3 years ago and actually nobody is contributing much to ANY gift pools - the gal who walked around asking people to sign the card did it in a way that was different in tone than the ones who did it for the last two - there was a run on office collections lately and everyone suffering "donor fatigue" - some of the girls decided they wanted to give you a present directly and so did not contribute to the group card - everyone had PMS that day.
I'm sorry you have the other stories for comparison, nothing hurts like feeling slighted. My tendency would be to suspect that it is not personal, but the economy. A lot of people who used to have 2 jobs in the family now suddenly only have one, and are at risk of things like losing their houses.
For the record, I don't like the "only the first baby gets the shower" rule much either -- what if baby #2 is a girl when baby #1 was a boy. among other questions? My little circle is such sticklers that nobody in my family would even give me a shower (by etiquette rules, it is supposed to be someone unrelated to you) and so I got one small shower from a neighbor and that was it. Don't let showers or lack of them, and baby gifts or lack of them, dampen your happiness one tiny bit. You get a new little one! That's great!
Well, you gotta figure in this econemy, people are on a tight budget so I think 50.00 was a very nice gesture. They could of just ignored it? They may also get something once the baby is born too. Ya never know!
Congratulations by the way!
We are suffering exactly as Brooke said, with "donor" fatigue. There is a card out every week where I work, I swear. As a rule, I don't contribute to any of them any longer. There are simply too many, and I don't want to contribute to one and not the other. So I don't give to any of them any more.
$50 does seem like very little from 15 people, though. That's a bit more than $3 a person. Odd.