188576 tn?1287719062

Just needing to talk! Upset;(

Ok, so I know this has nothing to do with my kids or being pregnant or anything, but you gals have always been great when it comes to needing someone to vent to or explain your problems to!
I am just so upset! Times are tough for everyone right now and I know this, but my husband is a Project Manager or Director of Construction, so times are really tough for him. He got work a year ago with two guys that he knew and at first it was a blessing to us, him having a job when tons of his friends in the same line of work were getting laid off. But now it is just a stressful job and I just dont' know what to think! They treat him like ****, but he puts up with it everyday to provide for me and our two baby girls! He comes home and worries, doesn't sleep, stresses out, and well its starting to take its toll on him and I get worried about it. He hates his job, but hey, at least he has one! Well for the last two weeks him and the two guys, they are partners have gotten into some deep conversations about his work and what he is offering them. He goes out every single day and gets a bid for them and either its not good enough for his partners/bosses or its too far for THEM to drive, when they won't even be going to the site but maybe twice during the whole project! He brings them tons of work, but they will not bid low enough to get it, so then there out on yet another job! He works so hard, but yet they tell him all the time he isn't, so they are talking down to him and making him feel worthless! I just want to cry! They built our home in our neighborhood and are head of the association right now and we can't even speak our minds b/c they threaten to fire him! I just think that is rude and just flat out wrong! They claim to be these wonderful men and christians, but I just feel that they are being good christians right now. They told him he needed to fight for his food so they quit paying him....WHAT~! They went on vaca for two whole weeks so thats no pay for three weeks! They said when he doesnt'  fight hard enough he will just starve. That's so wrong! I can't get a job, b/c by the time I get paid and have two kids in daycare, well I will just be paying for daycare! I wouldn't make enough to bring anything home! So we are so stressed and I just want to be able to speak my mind to those two men, but can't b/c my hubby will end up fired! They said in order for him to get paid he not only has to fight for his food, but pay them six grand (they gave him 11 grand at the end of December to meet his salary that they promised him) to help towards the business, but he will just be giving most of the 11 grand back and having to pay taxes on it again when he gets paid! I just thinks its stupid! They say they worked hard to get where their at, but they didn't! Their daddy gave them each 25 thousand to start up the business which he had already started and that's why it is where it is at today...thanks to their daddy and not them! UGGGHHHHHH! well, i better stop before I end up writing a novel on my hubbys partners!
Just need comforting and advice I guess;)
9 Responses
Avatar universal
1) If your husband is working for them he should NOT be paying them - obviously we dont have the full story here but something sounds a little amiss.

2) You husband should start looking for a new job.  A job that causes this amount of stress is not worth it.  He can start looking at jobs while still working at this one - I am not suggesting he jst goes out and quits.
193609 tn?1292180293
Hey! I am sorry you are going through this. It was not the same exact circumstances, but Mike was let go from a job because the business was not making any money. He brought them SO much money, and did two peoples jobs by himself! I never thought he would lose that job. He went from getting a bonus every week to not having a job in the blink of an eye. Mike lost this job in June of last year, and JUST started a new job on wednesday of this week. He had to move 4 hrs a way to get a job! So, there are ups and downs to having a job....but right now, the downs seem to be out weighing the ups! I really hope these men change their attitudes. Maybe your hubby should start looking for another job.
Avatar universal
hello, my name is betty.  i read your comment but their is some things that re not clear.  First of all do you believe in God?  how big is the town you live in.  Second do you have any other skill,  because girl you have to be be a virtious women.  think about this, if your husband is so stress that he dies with a heartattck.  where would that put you and your two kids, he is so stress that he can't sleep.  Do they own the house that you are living in. start praying evernight and evermorning with our whole family.  
Avatar universal
girl, i can't not stop thinking.   this is important.  Do you have any resorces in church that can watch your children, or you work at night and your husband work in the morning, to avoid pay for bab sitting.  you  have to do something
188576 tn?1287719062
I so believe in God and know that we will get through this no matter what. I have a degree in Interior Design, but NO place is hiring b/c the market is soooo bad here in FL. There are places here in my town that have been in business for a long time and are having to close their doors. Its sad. Very tough time here. He was willing to drive to Tallahassee, FL or Dothan, AL for a job, but they were not willing to let him do it. It's like they didn't trust him. They want to be able to stop by the site anytime they want, but if he is that far away (which is only like 2 hours) well then they can't just stop by. My oldest daughter does go to moms day out and it's only 15 a day, but she can only go once a week. They are fixing to open a preschool, but we cant afford to put her in there. It's 500 a month per child!!!!! We live in a very upscale and very expensive town and daycare here IS NOT cheap. 1000 a month for two kids is the cheapest around! I wouldn't be able to afford that and bring home money to help out. It's pointless. My youngest daughter was early and she has had so many problems that I could not work @ night while they were in bed. She wakes up several times each night and my hubby is such a deep sleeper, well he NEVER hears her. But I will do what I can to help him out adn to make this work until we can find him a better job! Luckily my parents and his mother live only 30 minutes away, so if we were that bad off we could move in with them until we saved up enough money. But I don't want to do that unless there is nothing left to do!
He is partners with them and is supposed to get 30% of every job they do. He did one last year and got nothing although they promised the percentage to him! He was just glad he got his salary paid. They pay him so much throughout the year and then give him an amount at the end of the year to meet the salary agreed on, but they didn't wnat to give it to him this year. They did, but now they want some of it back to go towards the business. Why say one thing and do another!
Thanks to all for advice and your comforting words! I will keep you updated;)
Avatar universal
well, i like interior design.  i watch hgtv all day.  as matter of fact need to do my bedroom. and the whole apartment.  wish you were closer. or that we can work something out.  do you draw also, but i am always afraid to do design on my own.  tried to hire someone here, went on her web site and it was ok. but was missing that pop!  but she does it as an hobby, did take geritol to help you get pregnant.  can  your husband get an lawyer to draw up an agreement.  i do not like how he being treated.  make me feel  like they run the whole town, and it very small.  and i like its one of the those town were ,if you late on your electrical bil everybody knowns it.  well, if you enjoy interior design we can talk all he time.
173939 tn?1333217850
Oh my, your husband needs to get out of that rip-off of a partnership before he loses too much money and his sanity. It doesn`t matter how much of a Christian everyone involved is, there is no time for believing. He is being bullied out of the partnership with catch22 methods. If he has a contract with them, he may need to enforce via lawyer that what is owed to him is being paid so he can move on with a clean cut.
I work in construction as well, it is not easy currently but project managers tend to find jobs in related fields easier than the construction worker per se. There are different niches, high rise construction, residential, retail, exhibits, trade shows, the trades - and many of them need project managers. It usually requires mobility, few people are lucky enough to find the dream job in their neighborhood, but man, he needs to get out of this. Even if all of you need to downsize a bit or relocate, it may be worth it. Don`t get overwhelmed yet, come up with a strategy.
730826 tn?1317943334
That sounds like you are in a sticky situation. I know what you mean about the daycare thing. I babysat for my sister when I was 11 and got payed $3 an hour. I thought it was a rip off but she said I dint get much more. The onlt thing I can suggest is try finding a high paying job and see if a neightbour will babysit. OR (and I know this is har, I've been there) find a job that is opposite shifts of your hubby so he can be with them when you are at work. MY hubby and I worked opposite shifts for 6 months. I saw him for maybe an hour a day when he was rushing out the door for work. When he said he woudl be working opposite shifts the first couple nights I cried having to sleep along but its not so bad. Hubby and I havnt gone to bed together since. (on weekends but usualy he would stay up so he wouldnt confuse his sleep cycle) Even if you worked for like 6 hours a day rather than the full 8. Then you have time with hubby, time to sleep and wont be super tired all day with the kids. Hang in there, things will get better. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe the reason for this is to make you stronger as a person and a mother.
Avatar universal
That is a rough situation.Those guys claim to be Christians?They are reading the wrong book.They are out for themselves.Just their actions to your husband is enough,cheating him out of money that is rightfully his.My son has worked in construction for years and it is bad here too.We are in Va. He was out of work a while and just started back last week.He finds his jobs mostly by talking to other people that he has worked with,even that have worked under him, since he has worked as foreman.If your husband knows others in that field from prior jobs,even if it means he has to go on tools as they call it, it would be better than working for crooks and it would save his sanity. They are trying to get him to quit by their actions. I would hold on to my 30% share, no matter what. My husband and I worked opposite shifts for 6 yrs.There were many other guys faced with the same thing. In 6yrs time there were so many couples that divorced it was unreal.We went through it those 6 yrs and it was enough.I told him we had to change the situation before it destroyed us. We had one day a week together.For a short time span it may be okay, but I don't think it is a healthy situation for a length of time. I wish you the best.

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