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1415174 tn?1453243103

Why does my husband repeat exactly what I say right after I say it?

I have been married for 21 years and the last few years my husband repeats what I say right after I say it. It is very frustrating and hurtful. I get angry at him and tell him it makes me feel very low when he doesn't listen. But obviously he is listening or he wouldn't say the same thing. I got in a big argument because he was doing this all the time. I finally got him to stop. Now about year later he is doing it again. What is up?
2 Responses
3060903 tn?1398565123
I just found out my husband has early onset dementia - and he was doing the same thing, among other things.  
He had to repeat what i said to buy him time to process the information.
20841821 tn?1547942964
I'm not sure the context of your conversations. Is he repeating the information to make sure he understands what you are saying? Or maybe what Nighthawk mentioned -- taking time to process the information. If he is doing this to antagonize you that is a different situation. Have you asked him why he does this? Is he even aware he is doing it? If it is innocent in nature, perhaps you can just show some grace even though it annoys you. If he is aware he is doing, what is his payoff? Is he looking for a reaction? Sometimes little things turn into big things if we are not careful. I would let him know, without arguing, that this behavior bothers you. I hope you can communicate with him and work this issue out. Be well.
uomeasmile, Thanks for your comment.
An example of what he does is I will ask a question, then one or two seconds after he will ask the same question. He doesn't know he does this. I asked him why he doesn't know I even said anything. He is not processing. I think he is in his head and not listening. He was doing this  a year or two ago and I brought it up and he kept doing it over a year or so. I talked to a counselor but she just said he isn't listening or is in his head. He has a lot on his plate right now. But why repeat what I am saying without knowing about it. He isn't a good listener unless he wants to be. For example if a neighbor or someone at work says something he is all ears. I don't think he is trying to get back at me or doing it on purpose. I just don't get if he is not listening how he can even ask the question. If must be he is "tuned out" and hears me but then comes back out of his head and then says what was in his head (which is my question).

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