My Secret that I need help with

[Lisi251]

I found out last year that my 25 year old daughter is a  lesbian. I can hardly type these words much less get them out & come to terms with this. She has always been a great daughter & such a loving young lady with a great big heart. My biggest fear is her relationship with God . She has always belived in God & I am finding it so hard to talk with her about this issue. I am so scared all the time about if she will be forgiven. I really need help....

[sd8400PH]

Been here...I'm not a mother, but our entire family has experienced this very thing.  In our case, the only boy (J) "came out" by bringing his relationship to a family event and dropping the bomb.  Yes...it was a bomb.  J accepted the sacrifice of and surrendered to Jesus in our young teens; he followed with baptism and was very active in his youth group.  He was a Bible reader.  He dated and liked girls...so, this was very much a bomb.  I say this so that you can be aware of the knowledge of the Lord he had.  J's parents have blamed themselves....Please know this is NOT your fault.  Fault finding is common.  All of this will take time...for you and for her.

My dad and I discussed the announcement and this is what he advised me: he'll always be J; seek the Lord and find out what He says - not the church or the pastor or those around you; speak and walk in your conviction; and always love J.  The hard part was speaking to him frankly and in love.  Even though he didn't want to talk about it, in order to respect me, he had to hear what I was saying.  Today, we have a loving relationship and we discuss the scripture.  He has not left the lifestyle; however, he still hears truth and receives love.  He knows I disapprove, but also that he is loved.  This is meaningful for both of us.  He's not cut-off and he knows i'll be honest, holding to my convictions.  

BTW, I have a dear sister in the Lord who left her family for a lesbian relationship.  The same method was used with her.  She tells me that she's grateful for the honesty as well as uncompromising conviction.  Again, she knows I disapprove, share in love and will be honest with her.

I remind myself of the promise in Isa 55.10-11.  Because of Him -- there is a path for communication; speaking in truth; and life in them -- there is hope.  Please be encouraged in His promises.  You have raised her, Prov 22.6; hope in the promise He has given.  

Blessings and Peace to you Sister,
sd

[specialmom]

Hi.  I believe that everyone's relationship with God is personal.  Sin is sin and equal.  We all sin.  We all sin equally.  If, indeed, God views your daughter's lifestyle choice as a sin-------  that is between she and God.  I would withhold your judgement or telling her she is making God unhappy.  I would spend your time loving and supporting her.  Life is too short not to and as all sin is equal and everyone sins, she is human like the rest of us.  Peace.

[tbabi20]

Yes, I understand. Keep praying for her sincerely. God hears the prayers of mothers especially and I hope that you feel God there with you as you face this. It isn't easy but put the situation in God's hands.

[Lisi251]

Thank you for taking the time to answer me. I do know I have to speak to her about those things even though I know she knows how I feel.Its so hard to do though because when I try she stops me before I can even get there by saying things like dont even try it mom because its going to happen,or she will not talk about it.

Its so hard for me my whole life will never be the same again. I do & will continue to ask for Gods help in dealing with it all & trust in in him to help us through.

[tbabi20]

I understand fully how you feel...

I've come to understand that it is important to tell our loved ones that what they are doing is distructive. If we love someone we can't let them continue in a wrong path. It reminds me of Eli, Eli knew what evil his sons were doing  but he never rebuked them or spoke to them about what they were doing. Perhaps his words could have made his sons turn from their evil; maybe not at that exact moment but maybe down the road.

I learned too that although we preach to our loved ones it won't change them until they are ready to. Salvation is personal and we can only pray that they see their error down the road. When you speak to her make sure it's clear to her that you love her, that Jesus loves her but being true followers of God we have to put sin behind us and follow him. No matter how you say it I'm sure she'll be offended, because no one wants to be told they are wrong or living in sin especially when it's coming from a mother. But give her time and maybe she'll come around to see that your concerned for her and her eternal life.

Just pray about it and ask the Holy Spirit to give you the words to say so she doesn't react harshly and is more open to talking. Know that God is with you through everything...