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Avatar universal

Mental Problems/Guess I lost it

As some of you know I have not been doing good at all. I know I wrote a lot about the things going on and how stressed out and depressed I have been feeling. Things were falling apart and everything was lousy. Well everything just seemed to pile up on me and I lost it. I know maybe you were expecting a ton of details why I have been absent and what happened while I was gone and all this. Sorry to disapoint you but I dont know. My memory well it was always bad but it got really bad. Im not even sure why I left. I guess I got lost in my own world maybe. I dont know. I wish I had the answers. Im not even sure how I made it through all that. I guess I did or well then I wouldnt be here at all. Im still not well. I space out a lot. Feel like Im in and out of it. Feels like Im not all here. I know this sounds crazy. It really does. This is another really hard thing for me to talk about. I guess this really makes me feel I am crazy. Like how could I forget what I did and stuff. Did I just lose it? I dont know. Stuff like this happened before but I think this was like the worst. I call it zoning out. I dont know. So I dont have an answer. I dont know what I was doing for most of it. I remember some of it breifly but just not much of it. Like I said I was out of it. I have no explimation. Oh and I know the 1st thing people are going to say, see a shrink. Yeah I know I need one. I needed one then too. I dont have one. I dont have insurance. I cant afford to see another doctor. Its to expencive. Aughhhh. When it rains it pours and thunders and lightnings. Still I am doing better then i was or I probably still wouldnt be able to be here. But I am here right now. I wanted to be then too but I couldnt. Wasnt functioning. Maybe I forgot how to come here too. Not sure. Like I said wasnt myself. So really I just wrote this to update everyone and hoping for a bit of support. Im still stuck in a situation where Im in the house all the time. And I dont go out. Maybe it didnt matter. Id probably forget most of it anyway. Seems like I forgot it all anyway. My memory is awful. My mental health is awful. Everything really ***** right now. Things got to hard. to bad. to much, So I guess I just lost it. Thanks for listening.
55 Responses
Avatar universal
I am so sorry this happened to you. That sounds really scary. It might be depression related but I don't know for sure. I'm not a doctor. Thats not good about having no insurance. It's terrible when you can't get the help when you need it. Thank you for the update. I hope to see you around more. Sometimes I have memory issues but I don't think I have had anything is bad as what you described. Sounds pretty bad. Not sure how much you are forgetting but by the way you described it sounds like a lot. Not sure what to think about this being in your own world thing. I really don't know. Still you asked for support and that I can give to you. So if you need to keep posting or just want to remember I'm here. I know it's been awhile. Still if you're not up to it then it's ok. You have been away from medhelp for awhile. For a sec I actially thought maybe you got a different screen name of something lol. I know you said you would if things didn't go well with what you said and stuff. Still I thought it went well because there were responces from us and I think other people benifitted from the things you talked about. In my oppinion. So I guessed that probably wasn't it. Now I know why. So I hope that you are over what caused you to have really bad problems. Hope that you are doing ok now. Hope that you are doing better.
Avatar universal
Hey yeah long time no see. And yeah it was all because of my mental health. lol No I didnt get a new name. I think this one is working out just find. I know I did say that but I only ment if people thought bad about me. Still no one did, I was the one who was self causios. Everyone else seemed fine with me I guess. If not they probably would have left because we were all involved in a lot of conversations between the 3 of us. So I guess it worked out anyway. I made the group for people with mental problems of any kind to get support and even people who just know someone who has them and they need support too. Also its a good way to get to know people. I know more people post here now. Who knows if I hadnt left we might have still had that going as well. But thats ok. I mean if others have a friend and a 1 on 1 conversation starts here its fine because they are getting support with their mental health and they made a friend. Plus I think its ok if one is going on other people want to jump in too. So like I said its all good.

As for my mental health well I think Im ok but not sure. I still get spacy sometimes but I havent actually went to outerspace. I must have then though or to lala land or the land of I forgot. So I still am having memory problemes but I am managing. I am doing better but still things are pretty crummy. Im sure Ill have a lot more to vent about if no one minds. Not right now though. I will stick to this for now.

So if you want to talk here how are you doing Amylove? Anything going on in your life?

As for other people you can come in too. You dont have to feel excluded. The more people the marrier. It would be nice if others had something to say as well.
So anyway hope everyone is having a good day or night. Whichever it is now. or when you read this post. Take care.
Avatar universal
Oh ok. That makes sense. I think that it's pretty good here too. Seems like a lot of people post here. So I hope that you are back to your normal self soon. Must be hard to feel like you do.

For me well a lot. Short version, I still go out a lot and do things with friends. Family can still be up and down. My friends some things are great. Sometimes things happen and stuff. I was sick a few times so I worried about all that. I have been recentally going out partying which may not be a good thing but I have been a little reckless lately. Also sometimes I just do it just to get out. Maybe I got a bit overboard. I don't know. Things are just crazy sometimes. Well today I had to run to the bank because I couldnt figure out what happened to my money. Turns out it was a small mistake on my part. Now Im mad because I messed up and now I don't have any money. Then I was planning on coming right home and getting on the computer but my friend called while I was on my way hoime and asked if I wanted to come over and I hadnt for awhile so I did. I had a pretty good time over there with her. So now I am just home relaxing. So maybe later Ill talk more about things but like I said that is the short version anyway.
Avatar universal
Sounds like a lot. So anyway yeah the whole bank thing sounds stressful. Still I am glad that you got to hang out with your friend and stuff. Thats good. Partying yeah sounds like you have it pretty busy. For me I still am stuck inside so I dont go anywhere. I stay at home all the time pretty much, Surrounded by the same 4 walls. Its pretty depressing. Just want to escape sometimes. I want to be free. I dont have friends still. At least not in real life. I dont think anyone would like me anyway to be honest. Seems like people turn away from me. Plus I dont want to drag anyone into my weirdness. I dont know. So yeah nothing has really changed much. Some things have but a lot of it hasnt. Of course my mental health getting worse that changed. Blah. Its hard. Sorry that you were sick and stuff. Its actually weird I dont remember getting sick this winter. Usally I do but I guess maybe because I was inside all the time. Maybe.

So I am actually about to get offline now. Not sure what Ill do. Maybe watch some tv. I didnt sleep good so I might try to get some sleep soon. if I cant sleep I might be back on later maybe. Hope that you have a great night. Talk soon.

Also take all who are reading this. Remember other responces are ok too. Thank you.
Avatar universal
Oh man. I am so sorry that you are still stuck in that situation after all this time. Thats probably why your mental health got so bad in the first place. Being stuck in the house all the time. I would lose it. I am so sorry that you are still stuck there. Gosh thats awful. I know you were stuck in the house still the last time we talked before you disapeared. I thought maybe things had changed since then. Man. I feel really bad for you. I don't know what I would do if it were me. Sounds like a lot of stress. I'm sure you need to get out of the house. It' bad that you havent got to go out much still. I mean that is a really long time.

I am glad that you didn't get sick. Thats good. Still after that I can't blame you for being down. I don't think home is ment to be something that becomes a prison. That's probably why you got worse. I really hope that changes for you soon. No one should have to be trapped in a house all the time.

Oh ok enjoy your tv and stuff. Hope you sleep good. Have a good night too.
1530171 tn?1448133193
Hey innerchild09.

You're back and you're here, and that's the main thing.
  With my own health issues far well behind me,
  -feels like all this happened in another lifetime- my continued commitment to give back
  advice and support, gives me a lot of gratification.
  I have 2  very close relatives with serious mental health challenges,
  and this alone makes me, somehow, feel a stronger connection to
  anyone that comes across my life's path, with similar issues.
  Is this God's voice telling me about one of my purposes, in this life?
  In my 20's a had a near death experience, and this experience truly transformed me.
  It brought the best out of me, helped me connect with my spirit, and I never looked back.
  There are lessons to be learnt and purposes to be fulfilled.
  Of course we are all given free will, to act the way we like.
  For some of us, our souls have "chosen" hard lives, in order to learn more valuable
  lessons. For some others,  the souls have chosen lives with higher purposes.
  
  Find the meaning and purpose in your suffering, and that will release your spirit.
  And you do have a great spirit. We all do. Then, by fully connecting to your spirit,
  you will be able to go to all those "blissful" places, where the light shines all the time.

  I'll finish my post with giving you a link to my friend's Justin Hines song "Courage"
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwoUM8ETFfk.
   I hope you will find it as inspiring as I did. (If I did give to you already in the past
   forgive me for forgetting, but listen to it again, if you wish.)

  Should you feel the need for some guidance or just some words of encouragement, at
  any time, please do not hesitate to ask me.  And this extends to anybody reading this.
   Blessings to all,
   Nikodicreta            
  
  
  
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