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Mental Problems/Guess I lost it
As some of you know I have not been doing good at all. I know I wrote a lot about the things going on and how stressed out and depressed I have been feeling. Things were falling apart and everything was lousy. Well everything just seemed to pile up on me and I lost it. I know maybe you were expecting a ton of details why I have been absent and what happened while I was gone and all this. Sorry to disapoint you but I dont know. My memory well it was always bad but it got really bad. Im not even sure why I left. I guess I got lost in my own world maybe. I dont know. I wish I had the answers. Im not even sure how I made it through all that. I guess I did or well then I wouldnt be here at all. Im still not well. I space out a lot. Feel like Im in and out of it. Feels like Im not all here. I know this sounds crazy. It really does. This is another really hard thing for me to talk about. I guess this really makes me feel I am crazy. Like how could I forget what I did and stuff. Did I just lose it? I dont know. Stuff like this happened before but I think this was like the worst. I call it zoning out. I dont know. So I dont have an answer. I dont know what I was doing for most of it. I remember some of it breifly but just not much of it. Like I said I was out of it. I have no explimation. Oh and I know the 1st thing people are going to say, see a shrink. Yeah I know I need one. I needed one then too. I dont have one. I dont have insurance. I cant afford to see another doctor. Its to expencive. Aughhhh. When it rains it pours and thunders and lightnings. Still I am doing better then i was or I probably still wouldnt be able to be here. But I am here right now. I wanted to be then too but I couldnt. Wasnt functioning. Maybe I forgot how to come here too. Not sure. Like I said wasnt myself. So really I just wrote this to update everyone and hoping for a bit of support. Im still stuck in a situation where Im in the house all the time. And I dont go out. Maybe it didnt matter. Id probably forget most of it anyway. Seems like I forgot it all anyway. My memory is awful. My mental health is awful. Everything really ***** right now. Things got to hard. to bad. to much, So I guess I just lost it. Thanks for listening.
Amylove21, Sounds like things are pretty lousy now. Im sorry that you are down and that things are stressful. Not sure about the phone thing. Anyway yeah my parents used to argue too and it was stressful to listen to. So I know how you feel. Of course thats a long time ago.
Im pretty down about fathers day coming. Plus a birthday is coming up. So 2 things that are depressing. Things arent really great right now. Im doing pretty lousy still.
Nikodicreta, hope that you have a good time there.
I hope I can talk to both of you soon also anyone else who sees this and once to join in.
Take care.
Im pretty down about fathers day coming. Plus a birthday is coming up. So 2 things that are depressing. Things arent really great right now. Im doing pretty lousy still.
Nikodicreta, hope that you have a good time there.
I hope I can talk to both of you soon also anyone else who sees this and once to join in.
Take care.
Hey everyone.
Tomorrow I'm going to Toronto for more Reiki training (level 2).
I'll be away for a few days, so I thought that we try once again the Healing Energy
exercise that I posted on May 26th here.
Anyone reading this post is encouraged to participate, as the more people involved.
the more powerful it is. With our intention we shall send Healing Energy to amylove
and then innerchild. Should anyone have another person that can use Healing,
please post your details here, so we can help those people as well!
Some of you may be skeptical, however, just give a try with an open mind and open heart!
So please take a moment, read the post from May 26 a couple times and then intend and visualize all this happening!
God Bless You All!
Nikodicreta
Tomorrow I'm going to Toronto for more Reiki training (level 2).
I'll be away for a few days, so I thought that we try once again the Healing Energy
exercise that I posted on May 26th here.
Anyone reading this post is encouraged to participate, as the more people involved.
the more powerful it is. With our intention we shall send Healing Energy to amylove
and then innerchild. Should anyone have another person that can use Healing,
please post your details here, so we can help those people as well!
Some of you may be skeptical, however, just give a try with an open mind and open heart!
So please take a moment, read the post from May 26 a couple times and then intend and visualize all this happening!
God Bless You All!
Nikodicreta
I am so sorry that you are worried about your future and that your mother is upsetting you a lot. Sounds like you have been having a really hard time. I hope that things are better. I don't know if you have been online since the 13th or not. I actually don't have a lot of time to write at this time. Some stuff is going on.
Yeah I figured out what was going on. I guess the payment was late. So the phone was off. But the weird thing is it called out but it wasnt actually reached to the person. Yet I heard it ring but it was'nt connected. It was weird. Maybe a weird glitch with the phone or something. It's back on now. So that's what happened.
Today isn't all that great. I didn't sleep good. Plus mom and dad were fighting agian. I wanted to go out but I couldn't today. So I'm stressed out mostly because of them. Allthough I might be going to a movie I hope so. I don't know if the plan will pan out but I am supposed to get to go see a movie. I'm waiting for my friend to call. She was supposed to call at 7 but she hasn't so now I think she decided to go with someone else or is backing out on me.
Hope that you are doing better then you were.
Yeah I figured out what was going on. I guess the payment was late. So the phone was off. But the weird thing is it called out but it wasnt actually reached to the person. Yet I heard it ring but it was'nt connected. It was weird. Maybe a weird glitch with the phone or something. It's back on now. So that's what happened.
Today isn't all that great. I didn't sleep good. Plus mom and dad were fighting agian. I wanted to go out but I couldn't today. So I'm stressed out mostly because of them. Allthough I might be going to a movie I hope so. I don't know if the plan will pan out but I am supposed to get to go see a movie. I'm waiting for my friend to call. She was supposed to call at 7 but she hasn't so now I think she decided to go with someone else or is backing out on me.
Hope that you are doing better then you were.
Nikodicreta, Hi its nice to hear from you. I understand you would be worried about what would happen to your brother. Hopefully someone can help him but I hope things will be ok though and your dad will be around for awhile. Thats hard that he doesnt want to get out andf stuff. I know for me I want to get out but I jsut cant. I am really shy though. But I still want to go places. Thats good that he knows some stuff. Sometimes people who have mental chalanages can really be smart. Its kind of weird that you picked now to mintion him only because I mintioned my moms ex husband. hes mentally challanged too. Yet he is really smart and knowlageble in other ways. I know that his family didnt think he would make it on his own but he actually lives in his own apartment and he takes care of himself. he does have a relative as his payee and sometimes helps but he can do a lot himself which is great.
I know that Im not that but I dont have skills and cant take care of myself so hes actually able to do something I cant do. So to be honest Im worried about whats going to happen to me when my mom is gone. Im really scared of my future, but the thing is I dont have oppertunity to learn what I need to. So Im kinda stuck here in this situation. So I understand. It is so scary.
Amylove21, Yes it can be frustrating at times because I never know what shes going to do and sometimes she will have an idea and do it right away and go with it then later change her mind. So she makes descisiouns to fast.
Sorry that you are down today. Hmm not sure why you havent heard from your friends. Maybe they are just busy. Not sure. Hope that you hear from someone soon. Maybe you will feel better then and more relaxed. Sorry that you are having paranioa. Thats really lousy. I dont actually know from experiance but my mom has a lot of it and Ive heard it growing up. Probably one of the few things I did learn about moms issues.
to anyone who cares, Well everything is awful. Mom was really mean to me yesterday and we ended up in an arguement. It was awful. Plus Im scared Im going to lose it agian because I am becoming really stressed out like I was before. And help isnt avaliable so nothing I can do. All I know is I hope I dont lose it this time. Im trying to hold on. I really am. Than today mom wouldnt leave me alone. I wanted to avoid her she made it impossible. And she yelled at me a lot today. Then my mood was shot by the time I escaped her demands and yelling. So then she asked why Im in a bad mood when she knows why. I say cuz what you did. She thinks its no big deal I guess. Nothing is going right. I am falling agian.
I know that Im not that but I dont have skills and cant take care of myself so hes actually able to do something I cant do. So to be honest Im worried about whats going to happen to me when my mom is gone. Im really scared of my future, but the thing is I dont have oppertunity to learn what I need to. So Im kinda stuck here in this situation. So I understand. It is so scary.
Amylove21, Yes it can be frustrating at times because I never know what shes going to do and sometimes she will have an idea and do it right away and go with it then later change her mind. So she makes descisiouns to fast.
Sorry that you are down today. Hmm not sure why you havent heard from your friends. Maybe they are just busy. Not sure. Hope that you hear from someone soon. Maybe you will feel better then and more relaxed. Sorry that you are having paranioa. Thats really lousy. I dont actually know from experiance but my mom has a lot of it and Ive heard it growing up. Probably one of the few things I did learn about moms issues.
to anyone who cares, Well everything is awful. Mom was really mean to me yesterday and we ended up in an arguement. It was awful. Plus Im scared Im going to lose it agian because I am becoming really stressed out like I was before. And help isnt avaliable so nothing I can do. All I know is I hope I dont lose it this time. Im trying to hold on. I really am. Than today mom wouldnt leave me alone. I wanted to avoid her she made it impossible. And she yelled at me a lot today. Then my mood was shot by the time I escaped her demands and yelling. So then she asked why Im in a bad mood when she knows why. I say cuz what you did. She thinks its no big deal I guess. Nothing is going right. I am falling agian.
innerchild, That must be frustrating with your mom always changing her mind about things. Seems like it would be hard to have to deal with. Glad that him being there isn't a bad thing for you. Yes it does sound complicated when someone constantly changes their mind about it. Hope that you are doing well right now.
Nikodicreta, Hi first of all. It's ok not everything has to be super serious or anything. So it's fine. Sorry that your brother has problems and that he doesnt like to get out much. I guess it's not as bad if you are ok with the situation being inside. Thats good that he knows stuff too despite him being how he is. Hope that someone can help him out if something happens hope nothing does but in case.
So I'm a bit down. Haven't heard from any of my friends today which is really unusual. So I'm not sure whats going on. Maybe I really need to stay in today. Still I am a bit bummed plus a bit paranoid thinking they aren't able to call and they are'nt getting my calls. I don't know what is going on. I just hope I hear from someone soon or I reach someone.
Nikodicreta, Hi first of all. It's ok not everything has to be super serious or anything. So it's fine. Sorry that your brother has problems and that he doesnt like to get out much. I guess it's not as bad if you are ok with the situation being inside. Thats good that he knows stuff too despite him being how he is. Hope that someone can help him out if something happens hope nothing does but in case.
So I'm a bit down. Haven't heard from any of my friends today which is really unusual. So I'm not sure whats going on. Maybe I really need to stay in today. Still I am a bit bummed plus a bit paranoid thinking they aren't able to call and they are'nt getting my calls. I don't know what is going on. I just hope I hear from someone soon or I reach someone.
Hey girls!
Nothing too serious this time to post. Just saying hi!
And to comment that it's so nice that you exchange so much
and in such a genuine and friendly way. Good for both of you!
By the way my brother stays home all the time. He's moderately
mentally challenged. he's a bit conscious of his condition and that
makes him shy away from any potential social situation.
Like he'll go to the corner store to buy something, but that's all.
He feels safe at home.
He's smart in many things and this surprises some people.
Politics, sports, world news, he's very well informed.
I don't know what's going to happen when Dad passes on.
It saddens me when I think about it sometimes. They live in South Europe.
So far away, but I'll be visiting them in August with my wife. That will be good for all of us.
Anyway, it's nice that you're both feeling O.K.
Blessings
Nikodicreta
Nothing too serious this time to post. Just saying hi!
And to comment that it's so nice that you exchange so much
and in such a genuine and friendly way. Good for both of you!
By the way my brother stays home all the time. He's moderately
mentally challenged. he's a bit conscious of his condition and that
makes him shy away from any potential social situation.
Like he'll go to the corner store to buy something, but that's all.
He feels safe at home.
He's smart in many things and this surprises some people.
Politics, sports, world news, he's very well informed.
I don't know what's going to happen when Dad passes on.
It saddens me when I think about it sometimes. They live in South Europe.
So far away, but I'll be visiting them in August with my wife. That will be good for all of us.
Anyway, it's nice that you're both feeling O.K.
Blessings
Nikodicreta
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