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Avatar universal

Please help, any suggestions on how to deal with Paranoia?

I think I have a paranoia problem, but I'm only 15. I find it really hard to trust any of my friends, I tend to have stages of when i think they are trying to catch me out, talking behind my back, use my secrets to betray me, and that they will ditch me once they do so. So when I start to think about this, I get really depressed and quiet and distant because I begin to think that I'd rather lose them this way than by being ditched, and my friend gets mad because I can't tell her what is up. the other day I was convinced that this friend was mad at me. I asked her why she was being so mean and she insisted she wasn't mad. She claims this has happened many times, I can tell she is getting really annoyed at me.. How can I stop this before I lose all of my friends? Please make suggestions on how i can tackle this feeling, other than saying go to a psychologist/support group/etc. Many many thanks!
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Avatar universal
try and find the funny side.im not joking.mountains and mole hills.ive had paranoid schizophrenia for a long time.you ever had an insecurity(something like a spot on the end of your nose)that you've surpassed.a spot is a small thing,on somebody else,but on yourself it seems huge(thats were you turn a mole hill into a mountain).if it were your friend,not you(if the boot was on the other foot)what would you say to them.in my experience when you can empathise and find a funny side to it(arent i silly for worrying so much about this silly spot)then the mountains turn back to mole hills and life becomes much easier.a silly joke_did you hear the one about the irish woodworm??  they found it dead in a brick....gggroan,slight chuckle.hope you feel better,much love 2 u n the world :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal

Hi Bethy1997,
I see you posted these comments in January. Here it is July already.
The previous response to your comments makes a lot of really good suggestions. I just wanted to address something you said in your
initial comments. You said you're concerned your friends will use your
secrets to betray you. So, let me suggest that you don't share your
secrets with your friends. They probably wouldn't do that, but then
you won't have to worry about that. People think that you have to tell
your friends everything about you. You don't though. If your friends
choose to tell their secrets, that's their choice. My friends have to earn
my trust. I don't trust easily. People have to earn my trust. Be friendly
and open with your friends, but don't reveal all your secrets.  May I
suggest be careful of your wording when you talk to your friends.
For example, you said you asked your friend the other day why she
was being so mean.  No one wants to be accused of being mean?
Do you like it when someone says you're mean. Of course you don't.
Try and make a statement, but don't make it like an accusation.
Like, I've noticed a change in the way you talk to me. Don't label her.
Don't say she's talking to you in a mean way. Reassure her, that you're
still her friend, but that you'd like to talk about it. I wish you the best
of luck. Be friendly but don't reveal all your secrets. Eve
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi, I saw that no one answered so I will try to help a little. I am not a professional, that is what you would really benefit from but here goes. You have already reconized that your mistrust is not reality right? So you know your paranoyia is wrong. It's a negative feeling that's clouding the truth. To learn to trust again takes time but evertime one of your friends does something nice or shows up when she said she would, really take note of this as proof that she is a good friend. Instead of thinking negative thoughts about your friends, replace them with positive thoughts. Don't forget that the other thoughts are wrong. Refuse to think negatively about the people in your life. If they haven't done anything to hurt you then give them credit for it. Work on yourself too, that's where your thoughts start. Get a book at a used book store about positive thinking or they might even have one on learning to trust again. Don't be afraid of going to a psychologist and working with him or her, they have all the answers. If your parents have you on their insurance talk to them about your problem and maybe they will let you go, you won't be sorry, they are very nice and they have heard everything! I hope you get this and I hope you can work this out, it would be a shame to lose your friends over it. Good Luck & God bless!
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