my son

[lovelyyy182]

So i have a 4 year old son . who is very bad with his temper. and i just got him potty trained took for ever. his behavior started getting really bad when his father left. he is hitting, kicking , trowing things. list keeps going. he is not listening to me at all. i have tried and tried im a young single mother who is going crazy and cant figure out wat is wrong with my kid. I need your help. Is there something medical wrong with him ? im a nurse myself and never seen any1 act like he does. Should i get him to a doctor? he already seen 4 doctors and noone is helping me or him.


This discussion is related to 4 Year Old Behavior Problems.

[lovelyyy182]

well i kicked his father out when he started getting very abusive and didnt want my son around that no my aprents arent in volved or will help my sisters and brothers are there helping all the time. . im soo thankful u helping me out with this

[specialmom]

Hi,  first of all---- if you read through posts here even some from today----- you are not alone.  I have a 5 year old and 4 year old too and 4 years is a tough age.

Your son's behavior going down hill after his father left is understandable.  That is really hard on a little boy.  They don't understand grown up things and how else is he suppose to show how bad this makes him feel.

I would be very mindful of how you yourself handle him and other people in his life.  Model how you would like him to act (no hitting, yelling yourselves).  This is hard to do when we feel those crazy moments every parent has.  But try deep breathing yourself, counting to 10, giving yourself a brief time out (like go into the bathroom and shut the door) when you feel your emotions getting hot.  

Do you have anyone to ever help you?  Your parents or siblings or a trusted friend?  They could give you a well deserved break once in a while to help you deal with it all.  Being a parent is hard work.

As far as your son, I would say that he needs love and support right now.  His behavior shows he is feeling badly.  Get him involved in some kind of sport if possible, or at least keep him very active.  This is good for two reasons----- it calms the child's nervous system and helps behavior and it also makes time fly during the day in a posative way.  Then do your best to look for good behavior and make a huge deal out of it.  Give him choices whenever possible as he is  more apt to comply if he had something to do with the choice.  Keep his enviroment calm.  Play with him and read to him.  Talk to him about how he is feeling and check out books at the library about emotions that give him words for it.  Also there is a series of books that is great  (hands are not for hitting, is one in the series I'd check out for your son).  Give him lots of hugs and stay calm and strong for him!!  Good luck