How have you changed?

[gizzy32]

Part of recovery is learning about and discovering ourselves again. So much good comes from getting clean and sober, but it does not happen over night. I was wondering if you would share some of the positive things you have experienced so far after quitting drugs?

I think for me having a clear head may be one of the best parts, the fog I was in during active use is never where I want to be again, it was like i was in another world, the world had no color. I feel so much healthier now and not depressed. I look much better now, where before i looked like death for awhile. I can finally enjoy the simple things I used to do, like golf, going for a walk with the dogs and don't have to fight this day in and day out although cravings do happen every now and then, like earlier this week, lol. What are a few of the most positive changes that have happened to you since quitting?

[worried878]

I think one of the biggest changes I noted in myself after cleandom was more confidence in m,yself..before I never trusted my decisions..cos i was not at my best on drugs

[newstart730]

I've been getting a ton of compliments lately!  People are saying that I'm looking good and, that always helps.  I guess skin looks better when it's actually skin colored instead of gray lol.  I am able to do a lot more physical activity with a lot less sweat (sorry to be gross), but my body is no longer having to fight the poison inside it.  I don't have to stumble to my pills in the morning and crawl back into bed until they kick in before I start my day.

I have found that I am actually more patient with my fellow human beings.  I work two jobs which require boatloads of said patience, and I've been so much better.  I used to get into a red-faced rage when driving and someone was being dumb, but now I'm such a polite and friendly driver.  When someone does something that would have pis$sed me off, I find myself much more able to laugh and/or understand where they are coming from.  Increased love and compassion for others!!

Ummm, and did I mention SEX!  oh, yeah, it's great being clean ;)

[stilltrying1965]

My appetite av put on 3 stones in 164 days mostly the simple things like smell,taste colours,, more alert ,talking,just normal things in every day life things i did not realise i missed but the best thing was the smiles on my son and daughters faces as they knew by not slurring or words and falling asleep at unusal times that we were now clean

[Totsie59]

I am just glad to have ME back....I see so many talking about that fog....and it just amazes me....that we were all in that same fog...

I still cant believe I was so addicted to those pills....but i think back to the days...needing them...and I am so happy that those days are over.....What was I thinking??????  

I have my life back...and I am sooooo glad....I am soooo lucky....

[merrymaria]

i could truly not feel happy while using....yes pills made me feel good but something was missing from within...fake smiles, slurred words, losing interests in things i loved...this was not me...this was not normal....now i have my old self back...no need to self medicate...no need to worry about surviving the day with pills...and most importantly i feel normal and normal happy if that makes sense...when i laugh i feel it s real not fake like when using....i could never understand how people that were not taking pills were so happy.....now i get it....this is how people live and i can do it too...we all can...maria

[JG525]

I have to agree about shame.  Not just the drugs and alcohol and the things I would do to get them, but also some of my behavior in the past in general.  I am glad to be free of that.  

I enjoy the freedom of not seeking out people and places that weren't me, but were only good for using.  I enjoy spending time with people I really love.  I like that when I leave a place, even if the situation was awkward for me, I don't have to wonder if I did anything dumb or mean.   I know how I behave now.  That was really bad with alcohol, but also with the tramadol.

I'm actually looking forward to learning who I am without substances.

Jenny

[kim715]

I'm not ashamed of myself anymore.Thats the biggest thing.I don't have that dirty little secret anymore.I can remember times when I would be talking to someone I knew at a party,or even talking to a neighbor and they would be telling me about someone they knew and they would say something like the person they were speaking of was a 'junkie' or a 'pill head' or 'crack head' and my stomach would just sink in fear that they would look into my eyes and see my pin point pupils and realize they were talking to a pill head.Instead of coming clean though of course I would say things like OMG how terrible that 'other' person must be and how 'those types' of people just made me sick,all the while knowing 'I' WAS one of 'those people'.I guess I just thought the more disgust I would show the more I would defer the spotlight from me so that no one would ever find out.Now if someone says something like that most times I stop them dead in their tracks by telling them I'm in recovery.That usually either makes them do one of three things,change the subject,walk away,or want to talk to me about how it happened to me and what I did to change it.

[ZJILLIAN]

I think it is too early for  me to feel too positive. I am grateful for the miracle of not using. I am not sleeping all the time. I feel things more intensely and right now that doesn't feel too good. I notice now that I have isolated myself, withdrawn from people, places, and almost all activities. I have begun tentatively to reach out.

[narla]

I am finally able to have a healthy intimate relationship with my husband,I've always loved him now I understand why.Living in a fog for so long I hated intimacy but now all the good feelings are coming back,Intimacy isn't just a duty I have to endure anymore.I can now even initiate sex it's great I've missed out on so much.But for 29 years he has stood by me.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

I agree with everything sara said...........  and also may add that I an neither shocked nor ashamed to look in the mirror now........   and thats its a mixed blessing but ultimately very important to feel all sides of life once more...........the good, the bad, and the ugly...............

[dominosarah]

I have finally started to live life.  My head is clear, i have feelings, i can feel love now and allow myself to be loved, my color is real skin color now, i can cry and know it is okay, i can feel pain and not numb it up, i see the beauty of nature, i can smell again, taste food, sex is out of this world, i am no longer lying, my relationship with my daughter is healing and when the love of my life, my grandson looks into my eyes he sees his grandma,clean and sober.  Those are only a few things i can think of right now.