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Avatar universal

Motivation, or lack thereof

I've read Shoshin's fascinating update about her reaction to the stenosis treatment (highly recommend it to all--please see her journal) and have been thinking about it ever since.

Sho mentions that she has seen improvements in her motivation to get things done. Not necessarily the negative things, which we all tend to put off, but just the daily tasks of life. I had never thought of lack of motivation as a manifestation of MS, but maybe it is.

For myself, my motivation is the pitts, and has been getting worse very slowly over the past couple of years. I had tied that to fatigue, and that does make sense, as it's much easier to lack motivation if you also lack energy, which I sure do. There's a languor or a lassitude about me that never was there when Iwas younger. In general I'm just plain tired most of the time, but this seems to be more than that.

I've asked myself whether I'm depressed, but I don't *feel* depressed. In fact, I'm reasonably happy. I've been through some really hard times in life, but this isn't one of them. I'm content most of the time. So what's with my becoming such a couch potato? And not even caring?

Do others here have problems with motivation, apart from fatigue, and do you think it's a consequence of MS?

ess
14 Responses
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Avatar universal
Yep. Big issue for me.
Helpful - 0
667078 tn?1316000935
I attacked my studio today. I threw a bunch of stuff out. I have a long way to go, but at least I did something. I have gone in there looked at the mess, become overwhelmed, and shut the door so many times in 2009.
Helpful - 0
751951 tn?1406632863
I finally finished taking down the Christmas tree at church yesterday.  We still have icicle lights around our front porch at home.

Have some trim to replace, too; last weekend was spent installing a new gas dryer, and it went through the laundry room doorway with an eighth of an inch to spare.  I'd think they must've built the house around the old one, but I'm not sure indoor laundries were common back when this house was built.  Well, I know where the finish nails and the hammer are waiting, but so many other things fill my agenda...
Helpful - 0
429700 tn?1308007823
I still have my Christmas decorations with no motivation to take it down.  It's the same thing with writing.  I used to write all of the time, and now I can't.  It does help to set aside a little time every day to make a to do list.  It doesn't always work, but I find myself sometimes some motivation to cross things off of a list.  Maybe I should address the putting away of decorations in little steps.  I'm looking at the big picture and can't think of how to get started.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am in the same boat also  I get so frustrated because of the pain.

I want to do, but can't stand for more than 10 minutes.   My spasms are so bad and my body just tightens up which causes more pain.

I am between a rock and a hard place because I don't know where to turn.

I wish I knew how to get organized to make things easier to do.

Thanks for listening                                               Linda
Helpful - 0
333672 tn?1273792789
It did occur to me afterward that I might have been depressed. I do seem happier now so perhaps that did play a part.

The most striking thing about the whole experience of becoming more motivated was that it seemed so involuntary. It wasn't like I used willpower or tried harder or talked myself into things. I just found there was an almost automatic transition to seeing what needed to be done and doing it.

Quix, that is interesting about the inability to initiate mental action. The physical fatigue and lack of endurance were, of course, hindrances to taking action, but I definitely felt this mental inability to get into gear.

sho
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i do, and don't know how to elaborate on it, except that i do and i don't feel creative anymore. once in awhile sparks come, but certainly not like they used to.

i have a tendency to place that burden on the fatigue, sleep problems and worn out from chronic pain teasing me like chinese water torture.  not an acute pain like a broken bone or knife wound, but one that just keeps hammering about little by little. the upper right quadrant pain, now that is like a knife wound, sharp and nerve like pain. i've cried over it from being burned out on it.

so lack of motivation, yes i have it. i don't have a full time job so i wonder if that is part of it. i can't even think straight some days so i don't really want to be around people anyways. i can communicate better in my own head than with other people. at least that is how i feel about it.

any of this make any sense to anyone out there? i'm freakin lost tonight and i'm at home. LOL
Helpful - 0
1166523 tn?1264364643
I am in the same boat. I used to be such a motivated person, you couldn't stop me. Now I just don't even have the motivation to clean and do laundry. I do it because it has to be done, but this is far from how I used to be.  My friends used to tease me that I was OCD because my house was completely spotless. I used to steam clean my bathrooms to make them shine, my baseboards were cleaned monthly..I had a checklist that I would complete every two weeks and every month.  I would get up at the crack of dawn to do yoga. Now I just don't "feel" like doing any of it.  I am like ess, I don't "feel" depressed and am such an upbeat person, so I don't understand why I just don't want to do anything.  I have a great opportunity in May to photograph a very special occasion that would make a great documentary. I got very excited about it but lost motivation to really want to do it.  I wish I could figure out how to get this to change. I think part of it may be the waiting for a diagnosis, wondering when and if I will get one.
Helpful - 0
1045086 tn?1332126422
What you all said about motivation, lack of - yeah, me too.  I get done what absolutely HAS to get done or is scheduled into a timetable.  Otherwise, it is very difficult to get anything initiated unless I'm under some type of time deadline.

When I do get started, it seems to take so very much longer to get anything accomplished.  If I don't have the entire day to devote to something, it's hard to convince myself to even start.  The house is full of unfinished piles of projects, work, holiday decorations, etc.

I too get clear mental pictures of myself doing things.  Too often, if I try them the reality doesn't measure up to my imagination and I'm frustrated.  I do enjoy the sense of accomplishment when something does get done.  Still, it doesn't seem to inspire further success.

More and more it seems that any day off is spent recovering from a work day, making doctor visits, or resting up for the next work day.  Then, since I work afternoons, I'm always afraid if I do too much in the morning my energy tank will run dry while I'm still at work.  Lack of motivation?  Excuses?  Living within the limits?  I haven't figured it out yet.

BUT---Shell--I'm thinking about your music suggestion.  Tunes have always been able to change my moods.  They influence mind and body.  There are some beats you just can't sit still when you hear, right?  I've gotten away from having music playing in the background while I'm at home.  Maybe the silence is killing me.  I think I'm going to try to find me some get up and get going rhythms.
Helpful - 0
198419 tn?1360242356
Yea - Seems the only stimuli we get is in all the wrong places!

We are missing the good stuff - You know, the stuff that use to put a little hitch in our gitty up!  The motivation that USE to come with some enthusiasm, or at least enough end result gratification to want to repeat it again -  just to feel good!

I hear you sister and too think it's a terrible consequence of the lifestyle changes, and all of what's described physical above from Doc Q and Pastor D.

ttys,
shell
p.s. Not a cure, but music helps me - provides some temporary relief at times - fwiw
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
Music is a lifeline for me as well, good to hear I am not alone in this!  duggie10
1125401 tn?1262898927
I have avoided antidepressants but I know they are not too far in my future. SAD however has improved dramatically since I moved from gloomy England to Colorado, thus has made my motivation a little easier. Some days for me are better than others. If I have no plans I acheive more, if I have a busy day I become overwhelmed and nothing gets done. I used to be a gogetter always on the go but I do have to prioritize my challenges these days and be more realistic in what I can achieve.
My diet ***** and I hate exersize, both I am sure would help things but again its too overwhelming to add anymore stressors :)
Helpful - 0
667078 tn?1316000935
I am having this problem with getting back to painting. I was a prolific painter it was my lively hood now I just can't do it. I have been getting rid of clutter one bin at a time then hopefully my studio will be more welcoming.

I stopped putting pressure on myself to paint it was not working.

My thing is an inertia. A body at rest tends to stay at rest a body in motion tends to stay in motion. Sometimes I just have to make myself do something however small. Mail a letter. Today it was taking Mike's car for an oil change.

I can't wait to be motivated I have to do stuff and motivation comes later.

It is my brain and it is MS but I am not ready to stay on the couch.

Alex

Helpful - 0
147426 tn?1317265632
During some of my various reading on fatigue on MS I came across an article that stated the fatigue in MS was from a failure of the ability to initiate mental action.  The person might "wanna" do it, but couldn't muster the various mental activities to get things initiated.

I didn't understand that at the time, but it makes sense.  I have no motivation whatsoever to do anything outside what I usually do.  I have the "desire" to do things, like take on a creative project (say a new quilt).  I might even get out all the stuff to start planning one, but I have a great problem getting going on any step other than a vague visualization.  I quickly feel mentally, then physically, overwhelmed.  the end result of contemplating doing something is usually a nap.

This invariably affects my self-esteem.  Before the MS and the severe vertigo I started out with, I was a self-starter and got gobs of things done every day.

I think PastorDan is correct about the neurotransmittor failure.  Not only do the neurotransmitters fail to move from point A to point B, so do I.

I have SAD, but mine occurs in the summer when it is warmer and brighter - two things I don't do as well with.

As for trying all the tricks to get going and do more, like a better diet, a better attitude, and exercise, I'm just not motivated to do them.

Quix
Helpful - 0
751951 tn?1406632863
Excellent questions, essie.  No idea of the answers.

I know that "depression" in a clinical sense does not always mean a sad mood, and that motivation -- drive, if you will -- is often deeply affected by depression.

We also know that MS causes depression in two ways: an emotional component, being so worn out and tired of all the hassle that diagnosis and treatment can be for this disease.  Then there's the direct action of MS on the nerves within the brain, which can sometimes trigger depression directly, by altering the way our brain functions in some way.

I'm not sure if we know enough about the processes of emotion to be able to say which electrochemical signals aren't getting from Point A to Point B, or might be getting misdirected to Point C.  Someone deeper into psychiatry and neurology than me will have to help us on all of this.

Incidentally, it is January, peak time for Seasonal Affective Disorder in the Northern Hemisphere.  I am happier on sunny days, which are few and far between here until at least mid March, sometimes late April.
Helpful - 0
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