You were not at any risk for HIV. No penetration = no risk.
The condom ripped before penetration? You need to have a fluid present that has HIV in it in order to have any risk at all. Assuming your partner had HIV (very low odds), and assuming there was vaginal fluid on the condom, and assuming that some of that fluid gets in through the rip... your odds are still very low. Washing your penis has no effect on transmission, by the way. I'm not sure what dettol is but it doesn't sound like something I'd use to clean body parts with.