relieved and sad

[de_louise]

I just finished the discussion titled 'DON'T LIKE MY SON'.  I printed it, read it, got angry, cried, and then wanted to put my two cents in, but looks like the discussion is clossed.  My oldest is 7.  And I dread him coming home.  The whining, fit throwing, never being satisfied with ANYTHING, and failing school because he just really doesn't care, is more than I can take.  I thought I was the only one.  I really did.  Reading that discussion has given me hope and relief.  Tomorrow will not be different.  But maybe I will.  I love him so very much, but (there's always a but), from the very moment he was laid in my arms I knew, no felt with all that I am that that "special bond" I had heard and read so much about just wasn't there.  There was none of that.  Our relationship, I fear, was set in that very first moment that we met.  I couldn't comfort him.  No matter what I did he just screamed and screamed.  I remember standing in the hospital room with my 2 day old, crying, thinking: "what have I done?"  He continued that screaming for years.  And now I find that most of the time I just throw my hands up in the air and give up.  I've given up on my son.  I often think that maybe it's just our personalities.  That there will always be this misunderstanding between us.  But I DON"T WANT THAT.  I want to look at my beautiful boy and feel pride and love...like I do for his younger brother.  His brother and I just mesh, have from the very begining.  Why can't I have that with both my sons?  Anyway, there is so much more I would like to tell, because we are not allowed to feel this way about our children much less talk about it.  I just wanted you all to know, especially Krissy13, who broke my heart with her anguish, that you may have changed my life.  I thought I was the only one...and I could have lived my entire life thinking that, if it weren't for your honesty.  So thank you.  And the rest of you who were so hateful...shame on you.  May you never know the heartache of being with your child and feeling so utterly alone.


This discussion is related to My 7 year old is driving me crazy..please help..

[specialmom]

By the way, I'm the mother to a child with a developmental delay called sensory integration disorder which is not an easy challenge for a family to deal with.  For me, it made me feel like he needed me more and hence, I've grown very close to him as I help guide him through.  I love him no more or less than his little brother.  I know you love your child and some are more difficult than others, that is very true.  Hopefully you have a supportive spouse that can pick up the slack when you are having a bad moment so that you aren't overwhelmed with it.  

Has a reason besides temperament ever been looked at for why your son is so difficult?  As I said, my son has sensory integration disorder and by addressing it, it really helps with his behavior and attitude.

Anyway, good luck to you.

[specialmom]

Yes, I do hope that I never know that heartache and am thankful that I don't.  Good luck to you and your son and may your relationship eventually be one of joy.  

I don't understand your poll as there is no question to be polled.