boys aaaaugh

[anysuggestions727]

My daughter just turned twelve and is in 7th grade.  She is a wonderful person and has been cursed, or is it I have been cursed, with being a very attractive young lady.  School has only been in session two weeks and already she has 4 or 5 eighth grade boys pursuing her.  Naturally she is feeling overwhelmed with different emotions.  Unfortunately she has fallen for the peer pressure and feels she needs to "go with" one of these boys.  She is holding hands at school and has even kissed one of these boys.  This goes against everything she has ever been taught.  She has a close relationship with me and her mother and we have always been able to communicate but for some reason we have not been able to get through to her on this subject.  The massive amount of attention she is receiving from boys is just to overpowering for her.  We have tried to explain to her about the natural order of things and how the minds work on a teenage boy.  How she is now seen as competition etc...  She is a honor role student and now we are scared her attention has re focused from her school work, friends, and sports to solely worrying about boys.  We need advice.  Is there any advice you can give us such as the name of a good book that can help us deal with this situation?  


This discussion is related to How do you raise a 12 yr old girl?.

[Sandman2]

  You are in a really tough situation.  She is young to be in 7th grade and all the older guys are going after her - that's scary.  At that age only group dating is appropriate- if any is allowed.  The teachers can't keep the boys away from her.  And she is probably enjoying the attention, which makes it even harder for her to listen to you
   the good news is that at this level "dating" usually lasts about two weeks and then it moves on.  Keep her really busy in sports.  The self confidence that comes from sports and academic work will help out in many ways.  
  You also might want to read,  Boys Lie – How Not to Get Played by Belisa Vranich, Psy.D. and Holly Eagleson.  and then decide if you want to read some of it.  If not keep it around for high school.
To some extent you have to sit back and  hope that all of the good work that you have been doing for the last 12 years will pay off.  Its hard.  You can't control what goes on at school, but you can lovingly control afterwards.  Do be fair, but don't be afraid to draw boundaries.  Best wishes

[puprock97]

I would let her teachers know, so they can keep these boys away from her. Tell her to "break up" with the boy she's going out with, and to ignore them. Tell her to stick with her other friends so that they can keep those boys away from her.
Hope I helped!