I had a seton drain put in 2 days after surgery to remove a Bartholin Gland (only in women). Apparently behind the gland was a fistula, the seton drain was put in place May 4th, 2010. It was terrible, I can appreciate your husbands pain. Baths with Epson Salts should be his best friend, I was taking 4 - 5 baths a day and using wipes in between. The infection is draining from the seton drain which causes irritation and the bath with Epsom Salts relieves the pain. No soap or body wash of any kind, just water! I wore only loose clothing as well I had been prescribed Tylenol 3 and I did need it. I would often be awakened in the middle of the night. I would take one and head for the bath. I had the seton drain removed September 20th and have just had my 6 week check up. I knew it was not right because I was still having problems. Unfortunately even though I was hoping to be in the 50% success rate I was not. I now am waiting for a another surgery where I will need a Colorectoral Surgeon and a Gynocologist both to repair what is now a Rectovaginal Fistula. I am incontinent, off work and rarely leave the house. This will be my 4th surgery this year. My surgeon was very informative and I must say answered all my questions and provided me with the information I have just given you.
Once he has the drain removed, by the doctor, he should be "misting" with a water bottle after a bowel movement, not wiping at all for 3 weeks (as per my surgeon). Good Luck to you husband, it gets a bit better but not alot unfortunately.
I had a seton put in May 2010....for a fistula due to Crohn's disease. I STILL have it in and am hoping to have it removed by the first of the year(with an in office procedure). It can be so painful at times, and mine tends to bleed often around the "drain" site. I have to use 2x2 gauze everyday, changing it often. I would like to tell you that your husband will get used to it, but it has been almost 6 months and I still am not. I did not have mine tightened, and I am wondering why that wasn't an option (although I don't have the rubber band one, but the fiber one) I used percocet for almost a month, bought a cushion for people who break their tailbones for driving and my office chair, and have taken stock in flushable wipes to keep the area super clean after bowel movements.
I wish you and your husband luck....I know my husband felt helpless when this first happened to me.