children

[tw1970]

my father is a paraniod schizophrenic, has been for years, he is on high alert for his violence, and been sectioned many times before. all drugs do not work, no more to try as he had them all. the one he is on just calms him a bit. he has abused my sister many years ago and beaten us. now we older we do not go near him for long. im the only one left talking to him, without me there would be no-one in his life, but i moved away from him, i have 11yr old daughter, and 18yr old autistic son... my dad has invited himself to stay over xmas at my house, im to scared to say no, as he threatens me when he really bad. what do i do, will it be alright, or will i be really horrid if i make excuses and say no... please help ???

[waveydays]

I feel sad that your father has done things to alienate himself from all his family. But you know with sz there are times when tough love really does work.
I have been alienated from all my family at times when I was sick and non compliant  with treatment. I had to see that losing my family was not worth it and I need to comply with treatments in order to gain my family back. Their refusal to associate with me was the only thing that saved me. As I hit the bottom and was living all alone and then started to feel like i needed and wanted them again. So I took the treatment and changed myself.
I think if your father hits rock bottom like I did then he will make a switch in his life as long as he is being followed by someone like a psychiatrist.
I don't advocate just kicking someone out on the street or anything. But doing your part to communicate with their doctors about every little thing they do and refusing to communicate directly with the mentally ill person will be a be sign to them that there IS something wrong and they better comply with treatment.
I don't know if its a good idea to have your dad stay over night at your home without supervision. But maybe you can invite him for dinner with a trusted member of his treatment team. Or you can take your family to him and offer to cook him dinner wherever he is staying. I wouldn't give him free reign to make the rules as it sends him a mixed message that he is ok to make those decisions despite being ill. Which is not the message he needs to hear.

[tw1970]

hi and thank you, due to other health problems he is unable to take newer tablets for his illness, and does not believe he is ill, so wont take tablets at all,  he has to have an injection to calm him down. i dont know if he stable enough, i think il phone his nurse,,,, as spoken to his psychiatrist before, thats how i know about the tablets. she told me he is very ill and very dangerous, they we have to be alert to phone the emergency team straight away. but since i moved away, i dont have there numbers anymore, ive been told how ill he is, what violent things he has done in the past. and to watch for violent behiavour now, as his voices are threatening it.
thank you for your help :)

[drifter0213]

i think that most people that have sz are not violent is your father going to be stable enough to stay with you? and if he is at least let him know the rules of your house if he is violent makes sure you take precaution to protect your family like ildavocate said

[ILADVOCATE]

    Yes you could discuss these concerns with his psychiatrist. You shouldn't be afraid to let him know certain behavior is not acceptable but if its a symptom his psychiatrist could discus this further with him and see how to address it. Also new medications are being developed all the time. If he hasn't responded to all existing treatments that doesn't mean he might not respond to others that will be approved.. Its essential to keep yourself updated. Also there are places you could discuss coping solutions such as NAMI friends and family meetings.