For 4 months my son has been having problems behaving daily in practically every setting (school, school bus, before/after school care, at home and in public). This is causing concern for me on just about every level (my mental health, my son's safety, the impact on his learning and social life, etc.). He has been subject to just about every kind of discipline ranging from time out, to school punishment, to grounding, to rewarding good behavior, to spanking, and nothing seems to help. My son is the class clown at school, causing disruptions for himself, the teacher, and the other students, he completely disregards school rules, he completely disregards the rules on the bus (which have to do with his safety), he does not mind me, he completely disregards my rules, and it is hit or miss of whether or not he will listen to me if I direct him about something at a particular moment (like, "Don't touch that!" when something is sharp or hot or whatever). In the past month my son has hit me with a shirt, he has spit in my face, and the other night he told me he would like me better if I were a prettier mom like the other kids' moms at his school! I am at the end of my rope and don't know where to turn. My son is not as disobedient with his father at his father's house, but this does not change his behavior at school, the bus, etc. - he gets into trouble at those places regardless. My son's teacher and I have established a notebook that we send back and forth to communicate his behavior at school, and, though things there are getting somewhat better, his behavior at home has gotten worse. Mostly, though, it is difficult because it is DAILY. It is one or another thing EVERY DAY.
Mothers keep telling me it is "the age" and that he is "a boy", but it seems like so much more than that! Should we look into seeing a professional? Nothing else seems to be working.